Loud Falls
by TvFan2244
Summary: In this AU, Dipper and Mabel are part of the Loud Family. Their 11 siblings accompany them to the backwood town just west of weird: Gravity Falls to spend the summer, living with their great uncle, Stan Pines. There they encounter all kinds of paranormal weirdness; getting into hectic situations even more so than usual. Lets see if this band of siblings can make it.
1. Chapter 1

**Tourist Trapped**

* * *

The sun shined over a nice little backwoods town, all seemed right and normal in the world. In one field a nice family was having a barbecue with two little twins running around.

 _'Ah summer break."_ Dipper narrated.

"So do you wasn't cheese on that hon?" the man asked his wife.

"Sure Hank." she replied who was sitting wit a few friends.

 _"A time for leisure, taking a break from school, relaxation, and just taking her easy..."_

We then look over to sign that read "Welcome to Gravity Falls".

 _"...That is unless you're our family."_ Lincoln finished.

The sign was then broken by a speeding golf cart that was trying to escape from unknown assailant. In it were 13 kids; 5 of them were teenagers, 4 were pre-teens, 3 were toddlers, and 1 baby.

"Ahhhhh!" They all shouted as the cart swirled a little.

Behind them, trees were being knocked down by an unseen force with a monster like growl.

"It's getting closer!" A long brown haired girl with braces and a sweater with a star fearfully said.

"Lori, drive faster!" a blonde girl in a light green dress told the other blonde girl in blue who was driving.

"What does it literally look like I'm doing Leni?!" Lori barked back at her sister.

"Let's get back there and knock its teeth out!" A brunette girl with a red and white t-shirt pronounced.

"Are you insane Lynn?!" a white haired boy in orange asked. "That thing will tear us apart!"

"I should have known our end would come." A black haired goth girl said neutrally.

"Not now Lucy!" a brown haired boy in a blue vest told her. "Just keep driving, the Shack should be just up ahead!"

"That's assuming the cart doesn't waste all its fuel." a little brown haired glasses wearing girl remarked. "By which point we will undoubtedly meet our certain demise."

"You're so not helping Lisa!" a little blonde girl dressed like a princess barked. "Can we at least slow down? This speed is seriously messing up my hair!"

"Who cares about your hair?" her twin sister with overalls and baseball cap backwards asked. "This so cool!" she whooped.

"Normally I'd agree." a brown haired girl with a punk rock look said. "But not when it means our lives are on the line! On the plus side I got a wicked idea for an album cover.

"That's great Luna." another brunette with braces said. "How about _covering_ us." she chuckled. "Get it?"

No one laughed.

"Hey just trying to bring some levity."

"Wahhhhh!" the baby cried.

"Shh, don't worry Lily, we'll be just fine." the white haired boy comforted her. "I hope."

 _"I believe introductions are in order. My name is Dipper Loud."_

 _"And I'm his brother Lincoln, the white haired dude holding the baby. The rest are our sisters."_

 _"The one next to me who's about to puke is my twin Mabel. Everyone else is Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lola, Lana, Lisa, and Lily. Now you may be wondering what we're all doing in a golf cart fleeing from a_ _creature_ _of unimaginable horror."_

Said creature picked up a tree and chucks it over the siblings and blocked their path.

"Look out Lori!" Mabel pointed.

The oldest sibling swerved the cart.

"Ahhhh!" everyone screamed once more as they were about to impact on the tree but then froze.

 _"Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation."_ Dipper claimed.

 _"More or less."_ Lincoln added.

* * *

 _"It all started back in our hometow; Royal Woods, Michigan. School had just ended an our family were ready to enjoy the summer."_ Dipper started.

 _"In all honesty, it would have been like how it's always been."_ Lincoln continued. _"We would get into some hijinks, resolve it and move on with our lives. Being the only brothers in a big family can lead to pretty hectic stuff."_

At the Loud house, everyone was doing their usual hobbies. Lori was calling her boyfriend, Bobby, Leni was drawing new fashion designs, Luna was strumming on her guitar, Luan was telling her usual jokes, Lynn was bouncing a basketball, Mabel was hugging a toy cat, Dipper was playing a videogame, Lincoln was reading a comic, Lucy was just sitting there all creepy-like, Lola and Lana were arguing, Lisawas comparing a few notes, and Lily was hugging her blanky.

 _"Our parents however had a different idea. They thought we spend way too much time in our house so they decided we could use some fresh air."_

All of their possessions were abruptly taken away and were given duffel bags, the dad put on a brown hat on Dipper, and put sunscreen on their noses.

 _"So they shipped us off to a sleepy town in Oregon called Gravity Falls to stay at our great uncle's or Grunkle as we call him place that's way deep in the woods."_ Lincoln further explained.

Once they arrived, their Grunkle didn't have a lot of rooms so he put them up at the attic with a few beds. They were unpacking their stuff and were settling in, Mabel had just put up her poster of the latest teen heartthrob.

"This attic is amazing." she said optimistic. "Check out all my splinters you guys." she put her hands up to show them.

"Lucky." Lana said envious.

Dipper was walking to his bed but saw something that shouldn't be there.

"And there's a goat on my bed." he commented, looking at the animal.

"At least yours doesn't have old man stink." Lori snarked, holding her nose in disgust.

"Hello friend." Mabel greeted the goat. It then started to chew on her sleeve. "Oh yes you can keep chewing on my sweater. Ha ha." she chuckled.

"Me next, I wanna pet it!" Leni exclaimed.

 _"Mabel, Lana, Luna, Luan, Lynn, and Lily mostly looked at the bright side of things."_

Now they were outside playing, Mabel was rolling down a hill.

"Yay, grass!" she cheered.

Lana was playing in a mud puddle.

"Ha ha ha, so much mud here!" the toddler laughed.

Luan was by a tree with a woodpecker.

"Knock knock. Whose there you may ask? It's you. Get it?" she laughed.

Luna was playing a catch tune with her guitar with Lily on her lap.

"I'm so gonna kill it at the campfire songs." Luna boasted. "Right Lily?"

Her baby sister clapped happily.

Lynn was hitting a puching bug she hung up on a branch.

"These woods are gonna make an awesome training center."

 _"Myself and Lincoln on the other hand were having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings."_

 _"Not just us, but the rest too. Lori was peeved that she and Bobby were far away so much that it's a hassle to get a good phone reception."_

"Come on, need to text boyfriend." Lori grumbled raising her phone in the air.

 _"Leni was creeped out by all the bugs..."_

"Ah!" Leni screamed in fright. "There was a spider and beetle in my sleeping bag!"

 _"Lisa couldn't find the time of day to complete her experiments..."_

The intellectual child was mixing a vat of chemicals until Mabel rolled over making her drop it.

"Careful! You're fortunate that wasn't highly volatile otherwise you wouldn't be laughing."

 _"Though we couldn't tell how Lucy was taking this."_

The goth in question was just sitting down doing nothing.

Dipper and Lincoln were sitting under a tree and were annoyed by the constant pecking of two other woodpeckers on their heads.

"Boo!" a man in a mask suddenly appeared next to them.

"AHH!" they both screamed falling backwards.

The man took off his mask revealing an elderly man in a business like suit, he wore glasses and a hat with a crescent shaped symbol.

"Ha ha ha!" he laughed, finding their shared fear amusing.

 _"And then there was our great uncle Stanford Pines. He was on our mom's side."_ Dipper informed.

The brothers sent angry looks at him, not founding it as funny as he did.

After slapping his knee, the old timer coughed. *cough* *cough* "It was worth it." he said in between.

 _"Our uncle had remodeled his house into a tourist trap he dubbed the "Mystery Shack"._

Stan was seen guiding a few tourists through various made up attractions that for some reason they bought.

 _"The real mystery was why anyone came."_

 _"True that."_ Lincoln agreed.

"Ladies and gentlemen behold..." Stan gestured to a statue that looked like Bigfoot only he was wearing underwear. "The Sascrotch"

Unbelievably, the people ate it all up and took a lot of pictures.

 _"Take a wild guess on who had to work there for the summer."_

The answer; all of the Loud kids. Dipper was sweeping the floor and sighed, while Mable reached to touch a plastic giant eyeball, until Stan smacked her hand with his cane making her reel back and causing the kids to glare at him.

"No touching the merchandise." he ordered sharply.

 _"It looked like it was gonna be the same routine all summer, but one fateful day..."_

* * *

It was another boring day in the Mystery Shack, the Loud kids have only been in town for a week and they were already sick of their new job, well except for Mabel.

Speaking of the cheerful energetic girl she popped her head from behind a counter with an excited grin.

"Oh my gosh, guys get over here." she beckoned her siblings who complied. "He's looking at it, he's looking at it!" she gleefully squealed.

Nearby, a boy around her age unfolded a letter he found.

"Do you like me? Yes, definitely..." he read. "Absolutely?" he questioned, confused.

"I rigged it." Mabel giggled.

"Uh no offence sis, but that's not how it works." Lori told her.

"Yeah, Mabel." Dipper agreed. "I mean I know you're going through your whole boy crazy phase, but I think you're overdoing it with the crazy part."

His siblings muttered in agreement.

"Yeah, not even Lori was this weird when she first met Bobby." Luna remarked.

"Yeah." Lori agreed before scowling. "Hey!"

"What? Pfft." Mabel blew a raspberry. "Dipper, guys come on. This is our first summer away from home." she pointed out. "Its my big chance to have an epic summer romance."

"I like totally get that." Leni assured. "But Dip's right, you come on way too strong."

"Plus do you have to flirt with every new guy you meet?" Lincoln reminded. "Ever since we were little, Mabel's always had this whole thing with flirting with boys 24/7." he told the readers.

* * *

 _Flashback..._

 _"One time there was that kid from yesterday."_ he recalled.

Mabel was next to boy who was checking out a brochure.

"My name is Mabel." she greeted. "But you can call me the "girl of your dreams". she added with a flirty look.

The boy looked put off and then was pushed by her, knocking down a stand with other brochures.

"I'm joking!" she exclaimed, laughing hysterically, Lincoln was nearby and just face-palmed.

* * *

 _"Then there was that dude with the turtle."_ Luna chimed in.

A boy with glasses was casually sitting on a bench holding his pet turtle until Mabel popped up.

"No way, you like turtles?" she asked faking being shocked. "I like turtles too. What is happening here?"

"Okay dial it back sis." Luna said as she dragged her home. "Sorry about that man." she apologized to the boy.

* * *

 _"Don't even get me started with the mattress prince."_ Lori added.

"Come one come all, to the mattress prince's kingdom of savings." a teen dressed like a king beckoned customers.

"Take me with you." Mabel whispered, from behind a sign.

"Ah!" he screamed, surprised.

"Mabel, don't wander off." Lori chided sternly, taking her younger sister by the hand.

* * *

"And of course who cloud forget your previous infatuation with Alexander Hamilton's face on the 10 dollar bill?" Lisa reminded.

"Even I thought that was creepy." Lucy remarked.

"Mock all you want brothers and sisters." Mabel said, undaunted by their examples. "But I got a good feeling about this summer." she crossed her arms confidently. "I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now." she pointed to the museum entrance.

As if on cue, Stan Pines walked out.

*burp* "Ugh." *burp* "Ugh, not good. Ow." he grimaced holding his side in pain.

"Aw, why?" Mabel cringed in disgust, her siblings however laughed at this.

"I don't know Mabes, seems like a match made in heaven to me." Luan chuckled.

"Totally." Lynn agreed.

"Definitely you're type." Lola quipped while Lana kissing noises.

"Alright, look alive people." Stan ordered.

"But we already are alive." Leni pointed out confusedly.

"Oi." he sighed. "I mean get ready. Anyway I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest." he explained holding up cardboard arrows.

"Not it!" the kids exclaimed together.

"Uh, also not it." an adult man with a brown hat and green shirt with a question mark on it, he was on a ladder drilling in a shelf.

"Nobody asked you Soos." Stan pointed out.

"I know and I'm comfortable with that." Soos replied before munching on a chocolate bar. Soos Ramirez was the shack's resident handyman whom the kids instantly made friends with. He acts like a kid despite his age.

"Wendy, I need you put up these signs." Stan told the teenage girl at the cash register who was reading a magazine, she was wearing a plaid green shirt, blue pants, and a lumberjack hat. This was Wendy Corduroy; another one of the shack's employees her job is the cashier. All the kids think she's cool due to her laid back nature, plus Dipper has a crush on her.

"I would but I ugh...can't reach it...ugh." she said, faking having trouble.

"I'd fire all of you if I could." Stan warned. "Okay let's make it you two." he pointed to Dipper and Lincoln.

"Aw what?" Dipper grimaced.

"Come on." Lincoln complained.

"Grunkle Stan whenever I'm out in those woods I feel like I'm being watched." Dipper told him.

"Ugh, this again." Stan pinched the bridge of his nose; he's gotten annoyed by his great nephew's paranoia.

"I'm telling you something weird is going on in this town." Dipper tried to reason. "Just today my mosquito bites spelled out "beware"." he showed his great uncle said bite to convince him.

"That says "bewarb"." Stan corrected.

Indeed it did. Dipper pulled his arm back and rubbed it in embarrassment.

"Although that is quite fascinating." Lisa remarked. "The effects of Culicidae aren't known for this."

"Look kid, the whole monsters in the forest thing is just local legend, came up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that." Stan pointed to a customer who was marveling at a Stan bobble head. "So quit being so paranoid and get to working with your brother." he ordered throwing them the signs.

Dipper sighed dejectedly.

* * *

The two brothers spent the next half hour hammering the signs in the forest that lead to the Mystery Shack just as they were told to. Lincoln was completely bored while Dipper was bummed that Stan waved off his worries as if they didn't matter at all.

"Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes what I say." Dipper grumbled.

"Hey chin up bro, if it's any consolation I believe what you say." His only brother assured. "I mean just look at this spooky forest, classic place to get attacked by a monster or something."

"It's not just that Linc, no one believes in what I believe and I'm sick of it." Dipper explained.

Lincoln looked at his brother with pity before looking at the readers. "Dipper's always been a fan of all things paranormal and things that normal science can't explain. It's been his obsession for a long time and hates it whenever someone says they don't exist and call him out for believing in it."

Dipper was hammering up the last of the signs until the hammer hit the tree and made a deep bang sound.

"Huh?" he questioned. "Hey Lincoln come look at this." he told his brother. Once he did Dipper banged the hammer on the tree so that they could hear the sound again.

"Sounds like the tree is made out of metal?" Lincoln surmised with a confused look.

Dipper put his hand on the bark and slided it seeing there dust on it, once he reached the sidecar saw that there was an opening. He opened what was revealed to be a door, they looked at what was inside and saw a contraption of unkown make.

They both looked at each other in suspense and Dipper flipped the two switches but nothing happened until they heard the sound of something opening up they turned around and saw that a secret door revealed itself. They approached it a bit wearily, inside they were both excited and kinda nervous.

"What the?" Dipper questioned as he and his brother looked inside.

The contents were a book covered in dust and cobwebs, he reached down to pick it up and blew away all the dust reavealing a yellow six-handed symbol on the cover.

"Okay, this is weird." Lincoln remarked.

Dipper put the mysterious book on the ground and opened it up. On myths right was a paper that read "Property of", but the name was cut off from below. On the left it read Volume 3. Dipper turned to the first page which had weird drawings.

"It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wonderous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon." Dipper read. He scouted through the pages and they saw entries on strange creatures and other anomalies line floating eyeballs, giant vampire bats, gnomes, cursed doors, etc.

"What is all this?" Lincoln asked, awed by the pages.

"No idea." Dipper replied equally astounded, he then stopped at the final pages of the journal. "Unfortunately my suspicions have been cofnfirmed, I'm being watched." he continued to read. "I must hide this journal before _he_ finds it. Remember, in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust." This was emphasized by the big words "Trust No One" written below.

"Well, this all kinds of cryptic and mysterious." Lincoln commented. "Eh Dipper?" he got no response. "Dipper?"

His brother was too enthralled by the journal and the information inside. It was the last message that really had his focus.

"No one you can trust." he repeated with a thoughtful look.

"Hello!" Mabel suddenly popped in startling them, the others were with her.

"What are you guys doing here?" Lincoln asked.

"You guys took too long so we went to get you." Lori explained.

Mabel looked at Dipper intently. "By the way bro-bro, what you reading, some nerd thing?" she guessed.

Dipper hid the journal behind his back. "Uh uh, it's nothing." he stammered.

"Uh uh it's nothing." Mabel mimicked. "Are you actually not gonna show us?" she chuckled.

"Yeah, show us Dipper." Lana begged.

"Show us, show us, show us." she and Lola changed.

"Uh." Dipper looked back and saw the goat from his bed chewing on the corner of the journal. "Let's go somewhere private."

* * *

Back at the shack, the kids were in the living room where Dipper showed them the journal.

"It's amazing you guys." Dipper told them. "Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid but according to this book, Gravity Falls had this secret dark side." he showed a few pages.

"Woah!" Mabel said in amazement. "Shut up!" she pushed her twin.

"And get this." Lincoln continued. "After a certain point, the pages just stop. As if the guy who wrote it just mysteriously disappeared."

"Hold on a second guys, this could all just be some prank." Lori interjected with a doubtful tone. "Grunkle Stan probably put it in the woods."

"I'm not so sure Lori, the book was hidden underground and could only be opened by this switch behind a secret metal tree." Dipper explained "We may have been here for a week but we've Stan's way of hiding things, it isn't really that clever."

"That's true." Lynn admitted. "He tried to hide the ice cream bucket on top of the refrigerator."

"Also, the wordings in this journal seem to be well detailed and has words that he probably doesn't know how to spell." Lisa added. "Though I too am skeptical of its accuracy. None of this seems scientifically possible."

"Oh but look it has fairies and mer-people." Lola pointed.

Before they could continue the doorbell rung.

"Who's that?" Dipper asked.

"Welp, time to spill the beans." Mabel promptly tipped over a can of beans. "Wop, beans." she quipped.

"Ha ha, good one." Luan chuckled.

"This girl's got a date!" Mabel revealed proudly. "Whoop whoop."

"Eeeeeee!" Leni squealed. "Tell me all about it."

"Well before we went out to look for our brothers, I met this cute boy and asked me out." she answered.

"So let me get this straight, in the half hour Lincoln and I were gone you already found a boyfriend?" Dipper asked in disbelief.

"What can I say, I guess I'm irresistible!" the doorbell rung twice. "Oh coming!" she said running off.

"Hey, think you guys can keep this a secret?" Dipper asked.

"Even though I think it's completely ridiculous." Lori said before smiling. "Sure thing little bro."

"We got your back man." Luna added.

"That's what's family's for." Lola and Lana chimed.

"Thanks guys." he smiled in gratitude.

Dipper sits down on the couch and starts to read the journal. Grunkle Stan walks in with a can of Pit Cola and sees Dipper.

"What'cha reading there slick?" he asked.

"Oh, uh..." Dipper hid the journal under the cushion and grabbed a magazine. "I was just catching up on..." he looks at the cover. "...Gold Chains For Old Men Magazine?"

"You were?" Leni asked confused. "But I though you were looking at a..." she was cut off by Luan putting her hand on her mouth.

"That's a good issue." Stan informed as he took a sip of his soda.

"Hey family!" Mabel announced making everyone look to her. "Say hello to my new boyfriend!" she introduced a taller boy standing next to her. He was wearing a black hoodie and dark pants, he looked really pale and had one bang of his brown hair covering his left eye.

"'Sup?" he greeted.

Her family looked a little creeped out, even Lucy.

"Hey." Dipper greeted back with uncertainty.

"How's it hanging?" Stan greeted.

"Nice to meet you I guess." Lincoln said, getting a bad vibe from this guy.

"We met at the cemetery. He's real deep like Lucy." Mabel explained. "Oh little muscle there." she admired as she felt his arm. "What a surprise. Don't suppose you have a brother."

"I'm an only child." he replied.

"Ooh, sorry Luce." she apologized.

"Don't worry about it." Lucy smiled lightly, knowing she meant well.

"So, you got a name?" Lori asked.

The boy looked panicked. "Normal...MAN!"

"He means Norman." Mabel corrected.

"Hey are you bleeding?" Lana asked motioning to the red liquid on his cheek. "Can I have it?" she asked hopefully.

"It's jam." Norman replied.

Mabel gasped. "I love jam! Look at this." she gestured to the both of them.

"So, you wanna go hold hands or whatever?" Norman asked.

"Oh, oh my goodness. Don't wait up." she said as she went out followed by her new bf.

Once they were out of earshot, the kids turned to each other.

"Okay is anyone else a little weirded out by him?" Lincoln asked. "It can't just be me."

"Now Lincoln, I'm sure he's just going through his awkward phase." Lori suggested.

"He's probably just nervous around girls." Lola said. "All boys are like that."

"As long as they don't constantly call each other, I have no complaints." Lynn remarked.

"Hey!" Lori scowled.

"I don't know, there's something off about him." Dipper said.

"Think we should investigate?" Lincoln asked.

"Definitely." he responded.

* * *

Up in the attic/their bedroom, the brothers decided to consult with the journal to see if Norman fit the description on the creatures inside.

"Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for...teenagers!" Dipper read fearfully.

Lincoln read the rest. "Beware Gravity Falls' nefarious...

They looked at a drawing of a zombie that looked had an uncanny similarity to Norman.

"ZOMBIE!" they both screamed in fright that echoed.

* * *

Down in the bathroom, Stan was facing the mirror trying to fix his tie with help from Leni but stopped once they heard the echo.

"Did somebody say..."crombie"? he asked confused. "What is that crombie? Not even a word. You're losing your mind."

"Sounded more like mombie." Leni countered.

* * *

The boys fearfully looked out out the window and saw Norman limping towards Mabel in a menacing manner.

"Grr." he growled.

"I like you." she told him, ignorant of the apparent danger.

"Oh no, Mabel!" they both screamed as he put his hands around her neck.

Fortunately he didn't strangle her as they initially thought, instead he wrapped a necklace made of flowers around her neck.

"Daisies? You scaly wag." she smiled.

They both sighed in relief.

"Thank goodness." Lincoln signed.

"You two okay?"

They yelped and saw that Lucy suddenly appeared.

"Lucy?" Dipper asked. "When did you get here?"

"Heard you yell "zombie", I came up to see why." she explained.

"Well this may sound weird but trust us we believe Mabel's boyfriend might be a zombie." Lincoln told her.

"Now before you say anything-"

"I believe you." she said.

"Try and look at it from our point of view-wait you do?" he asked surprised.

"Why?" Lincoln asked as well.

"I didn't show it, but I thought something was up with Norman as well. I sensed a sinister intention from him along with deceit." the goth explained. "That and I always wanted to see a zombie."

"Okay..." Lincoln responded with a raised eyebrow. "But let's think guys, is our sister really dating a zombie, or are we nuts?"

"It's a dilemma to be sure."

Dipper and Lincoln yelped in surprise again by another sudden appearance, this time it was Soos, who was screwing in a light bulb.

"Hey Soos." Lucy greeted, unfazed.

"'Sup dude." he greeted back. "Now I couldn't help but overhear what you guys were talking about in this empty room without your permission."

"Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend." Dipper pointed out knowing anyone would be put off by him. "He's gotta be a zombie right?"

The handyman rubbed his chin in thought. "Hmm. How many brains did you see the guy eat?"

"Zero." Dipper admitted with a frown.

"But he does limp a lot; and has an inhuman groan, so there's that." Lincoln supplied.

"And he reeks of death." Lucy added. "The scent that I smell everyday of my life."

Her brothers and friend looked at her in silence.

"'Kay." Soos said, breaking it. "Look dudes I believe you 100 percent; I've lived in this town my whole life and I'm always noticing weird stuff, like you know that mailman?

"You mean Sean?" Lincoln questioned.

"That's him." Soos nodded. "I'm pretty sure that dude's a werewolf." he recalled a time when said mailman passed by and noticed how hairy he looked. "But you gotta have evidence, otherwise people are gonna think you're a majorly cuckoo clock."

"As always Soos, you're right." Dipper nodded, seeing the logic.

"Does your wisdom know no bound?" Lincoln asked him.

"It is both a blessing and a curse my white haired friend." Soos replied sagely.

"Deep." Lucy commented with respect.

Then Grunkle Stan called from the downstairs.

"Soos the portable toilets are clogged again!"

He adjusted his cap. "I am needed elsewhere." he walked backwards to the exit.

Dipper turned to his brother and sister. "Okay guys, you heard him we need genuine evidence to expose Normam for what he really is. You ready?"

They both nodded with determination.

"Then let's get to work."

* * *

With that; Dipper, Lincoln, and Lucy followed Mabel and Norman all over town, first they videotaped them in the park where Mabel threw a frisbee at Norman but failed to catch it and it hit his head making him collapse.

Cut to the inside of the Gravity Falls Diner where at the front door the window was broken by a hand that opened it from the inside by Norman. He allowed Mabel to go in first, as he followed he kept crashing into things, they don't notice that the three of them are at a nearby holding menus to hide their faces.

We then see the couple frolicking through a cemetery laughing joyously until Normam fell into an open grave full of dirt. His hand pops up and he rises from it while screaming.

"Raghhhh"

They paused for a boy before laughing again.

Dipper, Lucy, and Lincoln were hiding behind a tombstone.

"I've seen enough." Dipper decided.

"Agreed." Lincoln nodded.

"If he's not a zombie, then I might not as tortured as I seem." Lucy added.

* * *

Back in the shack, the other Loud sisters were in the living room watching TV until the door opened.

"Guys, where's Mabel?" Dipper asked.

"She's up in the attic/our room." Lynn answered. "Why?"

"'Cause we gotta show her some evidence we gathered." Lincoln explained.

"It will reveal her boyfriend's true nature." Lucy said.

Lori rolled her eyes. "Seriously? Guys I admit that Norman is literally...unnerving but it's not our business to judge."

"Maybe, but ask yourselves; what do we know about him?" Lincoln told them. "I mean Mabel just met the guy hours ago and suddenly they're going out." he pointed out. He then turned to the oldest. "Lori, didn't it take weeks until Bobby asked you out when you first met?"

"Well yeah." she admitted, he did raise good points.

"Now that I think about, when I asked Wendy about him, she said she's never seen him before; and she practically knows everyone in this town." Luna added.

"Okay I admit that is weird." Lori said.

"Look you may not believe what we think of Norman." Dipper started. "But believe that we want to make sure Mabel doesn't get hurt."

Lori and the others saw that despite their paranoia, they were looking out for their sister, and as fellow siblings it's only right that they do the same.

"Fine." Lori conceded. "Can we come with?"

"Sure."

Now, they all went upstairs to the attic to talk with their energetic sister. Once that opened the door, she was just finished brushing her hair.

"Mabel, we need to talk about Norman." Dipper told her.

"Isn't he the best? Look at this giant smooch mark he gave me." she turned her head to show a big red dot on her cheek.

"Ah!" her siblings recoiled a bit disturbed.

"Okay if he does that in the lips, we're gonna have some problems." Lori promised with a stern glare.

"Ha ha! Gullible. It was just an accident with the leafblower." she explained.

* * *

Cut to Mabel outside a few hours ago. She taped a picture of Norman to the tube of a leafblower.

"Kissing practice!" she announced as she turned it on. She then leans into the picture puckering her lips until the blower sucked in the picture and stuck to her face as well making her run around in panic.

"AHHHHH! Turn it off! Turn it off!" she yelled.

* * *

Back to the present.

"That was fun." Mabel smiled fondly at the memory.

"Okay, note to self keep Mabel away from outside tools." Lori whispered.

"No, Mabel listen! We're trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems!" Dipper said without question as he showered her the journal.

Mabel gasped. "You think he might be a vampire?" she asked hopefully. "That would be so awesome!"

"Dare to dream sis." Lucy told her.

"Guess again sister, SHA-BAM!" Dipper announced showing her the Gnome entry.

"Agh!" Mabel yelped in disgust.

"Um Dipper, wrong page." Lincoln informed him.

"Huh?" Dipper questioned, he looked and saw that his brother was right. "Oh, I'm-I'm sorry." he flipped to the zombie page. "Shabam!"

"A zombie?" Mabel tilted her head. "That is not funny you guys." she said with a frown

"We're not joking!" Dipper assured. "It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?"

"Man is raising good points Mabes." Lincoln said.

"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking." Mabel offered.

"That is statistically impossible." Lisa remarked.

"Don't tell me you guys are siding with them." Mabel asked her sisters, exasperated.

"Well we're not saying he's a monster or whatever." Lori assured. "But what do you know about him other than his name?"

"Yeah, I mean has he said anything about his family?" Lola asked.

"Do you know where he lives or if he likes mud?" Lana asked as well.

"No, not really." Mabel admitted.

"Look sis, we just want make sure you're cool." Luna told her.

"And remember what the book said about Gravity Falls?" Dipper reminded. "Trust no one!"

"Well what about me huh? Why can't you trust me?" she asked them before she puts on star earrings. "Beep boop!"

"Mabel, he's gonna eat you're brain!" Dipper insisted while shaking her.

"Don't you see we're trying to save you?" Lincoln told her.

"Dipper, Lincoln, listen to me." Mabel said sternly. "Norman and I are going on a date at 5:00 and I'm gonna be adorable and he's gonna be dreamy." As she talked, she began to make her brothers and sisters back up to the door. "And I'm not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!"

"But Mabel, they just want to-" Lori tried to defend but she cut her off.

"And you all!" Mabel turned to her sisters. "I don't butt into your love lives so don't butt into mine!" she demanded as she slammed the door in their faces.

They all slumped on the floor dejectedly. Lily looked like she was gonna cry.

"That went well." Lincoln muttered sarcastically.

"What are we gonna do?" Dipper asked sadly.

* * *

Back in the living room, the owl clock rung, signifying the time to be 5:00. The sound of the doorbell was heard and Mabel ran down the stairs putting on her new sweater.

"Coming!" she called. She opened the door greeted by the sight of her boyfriend. "Hey Norman, how do I look?" she gestured to her sparkling sweater with a cat and the words Meow Wow.

"Shiny..." he answered.

"Aw, you always know what to say." she walked out smiling as he held her hand with his.

Her twin brother and her other sibs watched them walk off from the living room.

Dipper was disappointed with himself, despite his best efforts he couldn't get his sister to listen to him about his suspicions and now that he thought about it, maybe he was being a paranoid freak.

"Soos is right." he sadly admitted getting the others' attention. "I don't have any real evidnece." he said as he watched the recordings he did on each of their dates. "I guess I can be a little paranoid sometimes-" he stopped mid-sentence as he saw one clip of Norman with an arm wrapped around Mabel and saw his hand come right off and he re-attached it while maing sure no one was looking. "Wait, what?!" he exclaimed. He rewind back to the clip and saw it again, he wasn't the only one, his brother and sisters also bore witness and were just as shocked.

"Oh my Gosh! He _is_ a zombie!" Lincoln exclaimed.

"N-No way, that is literally impossible!" Lori objected with fright.

"How else can you explain the dude's hand coming off?!" Luna asked frantically.

"But this is scientifically impossible!" Lisa objected. "The very concept of an actual re-animated corpse is at best theoretical!"

"Hand came off-his hand came off-hand is off." Leni stammered.

"Well I gotta _hand_ it to you both." Luan told her little brothers. "Looks you were right." she chuckled nervously.

Everyone stared at her with an "are you serious?" look.

"Now? You're really making a pun _right_ now?" Lynn incredulously asked.

"Its how I can make sense of this, alright?!" Luan defended.

"He's gonna eat Mabel's brain!" Lola and Lana shouted.

"Sigh. I had hoped Mabel wasn't the first of us to go." Lucy said with sadness.

Lily was crying uncontrollably.

The girls were completely freaking out over this new development, no scientific explanation by Lisa could possibly calm them or anyone else down. They were all afraid, not just for them, but mostly for Mabel because she was out there all alone with him. Their brothers knew they had to do something about this, but first they had to calm all of them down.

"Everyone, stop panicking!" Dipper ordered, making them stop. "Look I understand why you're freaked out, heck I am and I suspected it, but right now our sister is out there with an undead abomination." he reminded. "And she could be in danger right now."

"Yeah guys.' Lincoln agreed. "We can stay here and scream all day. Or better yet, we save Mabel, are you with us?'

"Yeah!" they all replied, determined.

"Then come on, we gotta get Stan.' Dipper siad as he and everyone else ran out the door.

They looked for their great uncle and saw him on a stage, entertaining a crowd full of tourists.

"And here we have Rock that looks like a face rock: the rock that looks like a face." the old conman gestured to a big rock piece with eyes and a mouth carved on it.

The crowd was kinda confused by this concept. "Does it look like a rock?" a random hillbilly asked.

"No, it looks like a face." Stan corrected.

"Is it a face?" another tourist asked.

"It's a rock that _looks_ like a face." he simplified further, getting annoyed.

Dipper and his family tried to get his attention they repeatedly called his name but he was too focused on explaining what the attraction he was presenting stood for.

"For the fifth time! It's-It's not an actual face!"

"Erghh!" Dipper grumbled. This was getting them nowhere.

* * *

Out in the woods, Mabel and Norman were completely cut off from the outside world, away from any nearby people. Which is never really a good place to be if you're in a horror movie.

"Finally, we're alone." Mabel smiled contently.

"Yes. Alone..." Norman agreed moving a bit too close to her and moved his hand forward.

* * *

Back at the shack, the band of siblings were still trying on vain to get their great uncle's attention.

"Stan! Stan!" Dipper tried once more but with no such luck. He looked around frantically to find another way and saw the Mystery Shack golf cart being parked by Wendy. "Guys, the cart." he told them making them look. "Wendy!" he called to the redhead as he and his sibling ran up to her. "Wendy, Wendy, we need to borrow the golf cart so we ca save our sister from a zombie!" he explained.

The teen stared for a few seconds and looked at the oldest sister.

Lori shrugged her shoulders. "Kids." she smiled nervously.

Wendy smiled amusingly and handed the keys to the cart to Lori. "Try not to hit any pedestrians." she playfully advised, winking.

Every one smiled upon this and instantly got on the cart, Lori was sitting in the driver's seat and pushed the gas pedal with a lot of force and took off but Soos stopped them.

"Dudes, its me Soos." he greeted.

"Hi As." ze replied.

He handed Lincoln a shovel. "This is for the zombie."

"Thanks." Lincoln responded handing it to Luna.

The handyman then handed him a baseball bat. "And this is in case you see a piñata."

Lincoln took it and was confused. He looked to his siblings and they shrugged in response. "Um..thanks?" he said, uncertain. Now that they had what they needed, Lori started the cart again and drove off.

"Better safe than sorry!" Soos called to them."

* * *

Back with the lovebirds, they stood in silence for a a moment and then Norman turned around.

"Uh, Mabel." he started. "Now that we've gotten to know each other there's..." he exhaled deeply. "...there's something I should tell you." he told her as wind blew on his hair and had a brooding look on his face.

"Oh Norman, you can tell me anything." Mabel assured. _'Please be a vampire. Please be a vampire.'_ she thought with hope.

"Alright, just...just don't freak okay?" he told her. "Just, just keep an open mind, be cool!" he unzipped his hoodie while Mabel watched with suspense. Once it was completely off, Norman revealed his true nature: underneath he was actually 5 gnomes stacked up to look like a person, two were holding sticks with plastic hands. Mabel looked at him-er them, completely stupefied. her wasn't a zombie or a vampire; he was a bunch of little woodland creatures!

"Is this weird?" the top gnome asked. "Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?"

She continued to stare with her jaw hanging open.

"Right, I'll explain. So were gnomes." he gestured to him and his friends. "First off, get that out of the way."

"Uh..."

"I'm Jeff." he introduced, before pointing to his cohorts."And here we have Carson, Steve, Jason, and..." Jeff tried to remember the last one's name but was having difficulty. "I'm sorry I always forget your name."

"Schmebulock." he answered.

Meanwhile, Mabel sat down and rubbed her temples trying to process all this.

Jeff snapped his fingers. "Schmebulock, yes. Anyways long story short us gnomes have been looking for a new queen! The last one had an...accident with jam that we'd rather not speak about, so we've been searching right fellas?"

"Queen! Queen!" the other gnomes chanted in a sinister manner.

"So what do ya say?" Jeff tapped his foot on a head making it seem like they're getting on one knee. Carson used the fake hand to hold up a box with a wedding ring. "Will you join us in holy matri-gnomey. Matrimony!" he corrected himself. "Blah, I can't talk today."

Though she was still a little freaked out, Mabel took her time to give an appropriate response.

"Look, I'm sorry guys." she apologized. "But I'm a girl, you're gnomes and it's like what? You can't be smart as my little sister Lisa to see that it'll never work."

The gnomes shared a depressed glance.

"We understand." Jeff said sadly. "We'll never forget you Mabel."

Mabel smiled, glad that they saw things her way...until she heard what Jeff said next.

"Because we're gonna kidnap you." he told her plainly.

"Huh?" she questioned not expecting that.

Jeff leaped at her wit a feral scream.

"Ah!" Mabel shouted in fright.

* * *

The rest of the Louds were in the kart with Lori driving, going as fast as possible to save their sister.

"Don't worry Mabel! We're gonna save you from that zombie!" Lincoln shouted, hearing her cry.

"Help!" they heard another cry.

"Punch it, Lori!" Dipper told his big sister.

"You got it." Lori replied intently, going faster.

The kart drove into the woods and stopped at a very odd scene; a bunch of little bearded men tying up their sister.

"The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody." Jeff told her. "Okay, just get he arm there Steve." he ordered.

"Let go of me!" Mabel demanded as she punched and kicked a few gnomes away. One gnome landed hard on his stomach and puked out rainbows as a result.

"BLAHHHHH"

"What the heck is going on here?!" Dipper asked, clearly not expecting this. He pictured there being more brain-eating and dismembered limbs.

"Aw, those little guys are so adorable." Leni gushed as she went to pet one but pulled back when it hissed at her.

"Dipper, Guys!" Mabel waved, getting their attention. "Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes!" she explained. "And they're total jerks!" she added, bonking one on the head which made him pull on her brown locks. "Hair! Hair! Hair!"

"Gnomes?" Lincoln questioned and turned to Dipper and Lucy. "Guess we were _way_ off." he remarked.

"Sigh." Lucy lamented. "This may have been my one chance to see a zombie."

"Don't suppose that book of yours has something on them, huh bro?' Luna asked Dipper.

Dipper took out the journal and skimmed to the Gnome page. "Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls forest." he read. "Weaknesses: unknown."

"Oh come on!" Mabel shouted as the gnomes finished tying her up.

"Hey, you little goblins! Let go of our sister right now!" Lori demanded from Jeff giving him a clod hard glare along with the others.

"Oh uh, hey there." he greeted nervously. "Um, you know this is all really just a big misunderstanding." he tried to defend. "Your sister's not in danger; she's just marrying all 1,000 of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity." he informed thinking that actually justifies what he's doing. "Isn't that right honey?" he asked.

"You guys are butt-faces!" Mabel insulted, showing how not okay she was with that. Jason covered her mouth with his hand to keep her quiet.

"You're getting married, Mabel?!" Leni asked, excitedly. "I got dibs on bridesmaid!" she called causing all her siblings to groan.

"Give her back right now or else!" Lynn threatened holding the baseball bat while Dipper had the shovel.

"I'd listen if I were you." Dipper advised.

'You think you can stop us, children?" Jeff rhetorically asked, then he turned serious. "You have _no_ idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the-Ow!" he yelled as Lynn hit him with the bat, then Dipper scooped him up with the shovel and threw him aside. He then used it to cut the lines holding his twin hostage, thus freeing her much to her relief. She ran with her sibs back to the kart.

"They're getting away with our queen!" Jeff observed with anger. "No, no, no!"

"Seatbelts everyone." Lori advised. Once they did so, she dove away.

"You've messed with the wrong creatures, human!" Jeff scowled. "Gnomes of the forest; assemble!" he ordered. Soon various gnomes crawled out of all parts of the woods and gathered around Jeff, they then began to stack up, their form began to resemble a giant gnome that just kept getting bigger and bigger.

* * *

The Louds were making a hasty getaway from the woodland creatures.

"Hurry, before they come after us!" she told Lori.

"I wouldn't be worried." Lisa said calmly. "Given their short stature, specifically their fibula, it would be impossible for them to-" she was cut off by a loud rumble behind them making Lori stop the kart, looking back they stared wide-eyed at the giant monster gnome march to them.

"Dang." Mabel, Luna, and Lana breathed.

Jeff was barking orders on top. "Alright, teamwork guys! Like we practiced!" the gargantuan gnome let out a beastly roar and raised its left arm.

"Drive, drive!" Lola fearfully squeaked, making Lori drive again, barely avoiding he big appendage.

"Come back with our queen!" Jeff demanded as he and his brethren gave chase.

"It's getting closer!" Mabel fearfully said, at this point the events of the beginning already took place so there's really no point.

The gnome beast fired four little ones at the kart, one was trying to ambush them from the side, but Luna elbowed one of them off. The second one; which was Schmebulock went behind Lori, but she took him and banged him on the wheel multiple times.

"Schmebulock." he painfully said before Lori threw him away.

One landed on the hood, startling the kids and it leaped onto Dipper's face and scratched him.

"Ah!" Dipper shrieked in fear and pain.

"We'll save you, big brother!" Lana motioned to herself, Mabel, and Lynn. They gave a series of punches that hurt the gnome but they also hurt Dipper as well, evident by his grunts. One last punch knocked the gnome away, along with Dipper's hat.

"Thanks, guys." he said, dazed from the punches.

"Don't mention it." Mabel responded.

"Anytime little bro." Lynn smiled.

The beast took a tree and chucked it over them, once it landed, it blocked their path.

"Look out Lori!" Mabel pointed.

The oldest sibling saw a small opening, and swerved the cart so they could enter it. Everyone screamed as they spun around and ultimately crashed near the shack. They all crawled out of the shock, painfully, they each had a few scratches on them.

"Nice driving Lori." Lola muttered sarcastically.

"I'm sorry, but are you the only one with a driver's license? No!" Lori snapped back.

The shadow of the gnome beast loomed over them, making them cower in fear.

"S-Stay back!" Lincoln told it, throwing the shovel but the beast smashed it to the ground before it could make contact.

"Ahh!" the kids held each other in fear.

"Uh, where's Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked.

* * *

The old man in question was inside his home/tourist attraction, showing a few tourists another one of his face acts.

"Behold, the world's most distracting object!" he unveiled a handed held spinning swirly wheel that once turned on, spun hypnotically.

"Ooooh." the tourists marveled.

"Just try to look away, you can't." Stan claimed. The wheel was clearly affecting the people, not just them but Stan as well. "I can't even remember what i was talking about."

* * *

Back outside, the gnomes pushed the kids back against the wall.

"Its the end of the line kids!" Jeff proclaimed. "Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!" he threatened.

"There's gotta be a way out of this." Dipper pondered. "Lisa, Lincoln, you guys got anything?" he asked.

"To scared to think." Lincoln replied nervously.

"My brain is still trying to process the existence of little woodland creatures." Lisa said.

Mabel thought of an idea, it was risky but it might just save her and her family.

"I gotta do it." she proclaimed, shocking her siblings.

"What?!" they simultaneously exclaimed.

"Mabel, you can't!" Lana objected.

"You'll have to stand in the front yard all day." Leni said.

"Hey, we happen to find that job very degrading!" Jeff scowled.

"Look guys, trust me." Mabel told them.

"Mabel, are you crazy?!" Dipper questioned.

"Dipper just this once. _Trust_ me." she insisted.

Her twin brother had his doubts, but complied nonetheless, he backed up allowing her to go.

Mabel waked up to the gnomes. "Alright Jeff, I'll marry you." she told him.

"Hot dog!" Jeff responded happily. "Help me down there Jason." he said as he began to climb down. "Thanks Andy, right foot left foot there we go, hey watch the fingers there Mike." Once he made it to the bottom he also approached Mabel and holds the ring.

She in turn holds out her hand, allowing Jeff to slip the ring on her finger. "Badda bing badda bam!" he cheered. "Let's get you back to the forest honey." he said turning around.

"You may now kiss the bride." Mabel announced making him stop.

"Well, don't mind if I do." Jeff smiled slyly. He leaned for a kiss until Mabel pulled out the leaf blower that was nearby and turned it on in his face. "Ah! Hey, hey wait a minute!" he protested. "What's going on?!" He was sucked in halfway shocking his army.

"That's for lying to me!" she glared and put the blower in reverse. "THAT'S for breaking my heart!"

"Ow! My face!" Jeff yelled.

Sshe aimed him at the gnomes. "And THIS is for messing with my brothers and sisters!" she turned to them smiling, which they returned. "Wanna do the honors?"

"You know it dude!" Luna replied.

All the Loud siblings held the blower and were ready to fire.

"A 62 degree angle would be beneficial." Lisa informed.

"On three!" Dipper told them.

"One...Two...Three!" they shouted together as they fired Jeff straight through the stacked up gnomes, making them separate.

"Ah, I'll get you all back for this!" Jeff yelled ass he disappeared from view.

The remaining gnomes were left without a leader, thus they didn't know what to do.

"Who's giving orders?! I need orders!" one panicked.

"My arms are tired." another groaned. Soon, they were blown away by the leaf blower.

"Anybody else want some?" Lincoln dared with a triumphant smirk.

"Let this be a lesson." Lynn told them. "Don't mess with the Louds!"

One of the fleeing gnomes got caught in package holder and was picked by the goat and ran away with him.

As the kids tiredly made their way tot he shack, Mabel stopped them.

"Hey Dipper, Lincoln, guys, I um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice." she apologized with a guilty frown. "You all really were just looking out for me."

"Don't sweat it Mabes." Luan told her. "We're family; it's what we do."

"Besides, you saved our butts back there." Lincoln added, grateful.

"Guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes." Mabel said with a sad frown.

"First relationships never really work out." Lori said with a comforting smile. "You ever need tips, come see me."

"And who knows, maybe the next one _will_ be a vampire." Dipper said.

"Oh, you're just saying that" Mabel laughed playfully.

"Dare to dream." Lucy added.

"Awkward sibling group hug?" Dipper offered, holding his arms out along with the others.

"Awkward sibling group hug.' she replied, holding her arms out as well, allowing them all to share an affectionate group hug followed by..."Pat, pat."

With that done, they went in the Shack where their great uncle was counting money and cringed as he saw how messed up they looked.

"Yeesh, you guys got hit by a bus or something?" he asked before laughing. "Ha!"

His niblings glared at him in response and went to go to their room.

Stan looked a little guilty and though of something. "Uh hey." he called making them turn around. "Wouldn't you know it? I accidentally overlooked some inventory so uh how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop?" he offered. "On the house."

"Really." Leni asked, surprised.

"What's the catch?" Lincoln crossed his arms skeptically.

"The catch is do it before I change my mind, so take something.' he grumbled as he out the cash in the register.

Each of the Loud kid picked out one item. Lori got a new phone case with the word Mystery Shack, Leni got herself a mirror, Luna got a brown guitar case, Luan picked a wooden puppet, Lynn got a new baseball bat, Dipper got a new hat with a pine tree on it to replace his old one, Lincoln got a swiss army knife, Lucy picked a grey book with a bat symbol, Lola got a new tiara, Lana got a tool kit, Lisa got a microscope for outside, and Lilly got a stuffed animal that looked like a cross between a gremlin and a goblin.

"And I will have a..." Mabel took an object from the box and held it high. "Grappling hook! Yes."

Her family looked at her oddly, wondering why she would need one and why something like that was even in a gift shop.

"Wouldn't you rather have like a doll, or something?" Stan questioned.

Mabel fires it at the ceiling, catches it ans pulls her up. "GRAPPLING HOOK!"

"Fair enough."

"Wow, looks like you're really _hooked_ onto that thing Mabel. Ha ha." Luna quipped, making everyone groan. "Get it?"

* * *

Once it was nighttime, the kids were in their shared bedroom getting ready to go to sleep. Mabel and Lana were jumping on the bed, while Dipper was writing in the journal.

 _"This journal told me there was nobody in Gravity Falls you can trust."_ he wrote. " _But when you battle 100 gnomes side bys ide with a group..."_ he looked to his family and saw Mabel use her new grappling hook to get a stuffed tiger.

"Nice." Luna complimented, fist bumping her.

 _"You realize that they pretty much always have your back.."_

"Hey, can someone hit the light?" Dipper asked.

"I'm on it." Mabel responded and fired her hook at the lantern making it crash through the window.

"It worked!" she cheered. Everyone laughed at this. "Grappling hook." she chuckled.

 _"Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked."_

As everyone went to sleep, downstairs Stan had just entered and went to the vending machine. He put in a strange code and unexpectedly, the machine slid back, revealing a hidden entrance with stairs. He went in and looked back to make sure no one was around with narrowed eyes. The old man closed the entrance and no one had a clue.

* * *

 **End Credit**

The gnome from before puked again, only this time it went on way longer.

"Blaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" he groaned.

Leni was nearby and cringed in disgust. "Grody."


	2. Chapter 2

**Legend Of The Gobblewonker**

* * *

It was another normal morning in the Mystery Shack, the kids have just gotten out of bed and went to the kitchen for breakfast. They were still kinda reeling from the whole gnome trying to take Mabel as a bride thing the other day, thankfully nothing else weird happened after that ordeal so things were quiet. Might be good for those like Lori, but boring for the rest.

Dipper and Mabel decided to spice things up with a little competition.

"Are you ready for the ultimate challenge?" Mabel dared her twin, holding up a bottle of syrup that looked like a man from ancient Europe.

"I'm always already!" Dipper responded holding up his own bottle that looked like a Canadian Mountie.

"Syrup race!" they cheered with everyone else.

"Alright, first one to get a drop in their mouth wins." Lynn explained the rules, acting as the referee. "Don't tap on the bottle to make it go faster. And...go!" she declared.

The pair of twins opened their mouths and raised the bottles over them, with tiny drops starting to go down. Everyone else was watching, cheering the other on.

"Go! Go!"

"Come on bro, you got this!" Luna encouraged Dipper.

"Don't mess this up Mabel!" Lola barked. "I got 5 bucks riding on this!"

Lincoln turned to her. "I think Grunkle Stan is starting to rub off on you."

"Go Sir Syrup!"

"Go Mountan Man!"

"Come on, come on..." Mabel urged as one drop entered into her mouth. "Yes! I win, whoo!" she cheered and coughs a little too, prompting Lynn to pat her back.

"Ha. Pay up Lana." Lola triumphantly told her twin.

"This game is rigged." Lana grumbled handing her sister 5 bucks.

Lily reached for the Mister Mountie. "Gah buh."

Dipper smiled. "Here Lil, hope you enjoy it." he handed it to the baby. Dipper then read the newspaper and saw an article that peaked his interest. "Woah, no way. Guys take a look at this." he showed his siblings the paper.

Mabel gasped in shock. "Human-sized hamster balls?" she read. "I'm human-sized." she said with a hopeful smile.

"Don't even think about it." Lori interjected. "That thing would literally cost a fortune."

"No I mean this." he pointed to an article that advertised a monster photo contest reward. "Says here we can win $100,000,000 for a genuine pic of a real monster." he explained. "We see weirder stuff than that everyday. Did anyone get a pic of those gnomes?"

"Negative." Lisa replied. "Only heavily traumatic memories sinked into our psyches."

"I cherish memories like those." Lucy said. "They remind me how I'm so close to sweet death himself." at that Lisa, who was sitting near her promptly scooted away.

"All I got was this beard hair." Mabel said, holding up small white hair she got from one of the gnomes.

"Why did you even save that?" Lincoln asked, completely disturbed.

"Luan said she needed it." Mabel answered, handing it to her comedic sister.

"Thanks." Luan smiled and turned to them. "It's for a prank I've been waiting to try out, it's a very _hair_ -brained shceme. Haha, get it?" she laughed.

Before anyone could respond, Stan walked in. "Ahh, morning knuckleheads." he greeted casually. "Heard something about a bet, what's that about?"

"Dipper and Mabel had a syrup race, I bet on Mabel and won." Lola smugly said.

"Ha, nice one squirt." Stan ruffled her hair much to her discomfort.

"Watch it." Lola protested in annoyance, she hated when her hair is messed with.

"Anyway, guess what day it is?" he questioned a little too eagerly for him.

"Tuesday?" Lincoln replied, uncertain.

"Happy anniversary?" Dipper tried as well, kinda confused by his uncle's sudden cheerfulness.

"Masel Tov!" Mabel cheered.

"Grunkle Stan, you should've told me, I totes would've made you a suit." Leni told him enthusiastically.

The old man face palmed and sighed. "No, it's family fun day." he told them. "We're cutting off work so we can have one of those you know bonding-type deals." he explained, getting milk from the fridge.

"Normally I'm all for that, but not until recently." Lincoln commented. "Since coming here, we've seen how Stan sees would try to spend time with us and they haven't exactly all that nice." he told the readers.

"Grunkle Stan, is this gonna be like our _last_ family bonding day?" Dipper asked warily, having a clear memory of that fiasco...

* * *

 _Days ago..._

One night ago in the basement of the shack, Stan had his niblings make a lot of counterfeit money. They were all painting white sheets of paper with green and black paint, their taskmaster was checking one that Leni drew but threw it away.

"You call that Benjamin Franklin?" he snarked disappointed at his niece. "He looks like a woman."

"Ben Franklin's a boy?" Leni questioned, surprised by this fact. (Or is it a fact?)

They all stopped what they were doing as soon as they heard sirens outside, looking out the window they saw red and blue lights.

"Aw jeez, it's the fuzz dudes!" Luna exclaimed, alarmed, which was the same for everyone.

"Uh-Oh." Stan grimaced.

"I'm not taking the fall for this!" Lola declared, she quickly charged out of the room. "You're on your own!"

* * *

 _Present Day..._

Mabel shivered. "The county jail was so cold." she whispered.

"Not to mention what they made us wear." Leni added with a cringe. "I couldn't stand being there any longer.

"Leni, we were there for only a day." Lincoln pointed out.

"I know, but prison orange is so ugly, in fact all orange in general." she declared but regretted it once Leni saw Lincoln cross his arms and raised a brow at her. "Except you totally make it look good, Linc." she said sheepishly.

"The point is Grunkle Stan, we're literally never doing that ever again." Lori told him sternly.

"I don't know." Lucy said. "I actually liked that place, the soul crushing atmosphere and possibility of never getting free was quite soothing." she lightly smiled, creeping out her family.

"Alright, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker." Stan the admitted as he wrapped arms around Lola and Lana. "But I swear, today we're gonna have some real family fun." he assured. "Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?"

"Yay!" everyone cheered.

"Wait, what?" Dipper questioned.

"Say that last part again." Lincoln said, wanting to making sure he heard right.

* * *

Minutes later, the kids and their uncle were in the new van he purchased, driving to an unspecified destination. All but Stan were wearing blindfolds, the siblings were sitting on the back, since there were so many of them living with him, he had by a vehicle with ample space.

The only thing to worry about now was their uncle's reckless driving.

"Woah!" Dipper breathed as the cat swirled a little. "Blindfolds never lead to anything good." he said nervously.

"Someone remind me how was he able to even talk us into it?" Lincoln asked.

"He said he'd ground us if we didn't." Lori replied, also nervous.

"Oh yeah."

"This actually feels cool." Mabel breathed. "I feel like my other senses are heightened." she moved her and started touching Lisa's face.

"If that were correct, then you would know that I am annoyed by your appendages that are making contact with my face." Lisa said with a frown.

"How can you tell?" Mabel asked, curious.

"You're sitting next to me." she answered.

"So Stan, where are ya taking us?" Luna asked.

"Ah ah, no spoilers." Stan replied. "It's a surprise, that's pretty much why I had you all put on blindfolds." they then hit a bump on the road, making them jump a little.

"Speaking of, are you wearing a blindfold?" Dipper asked, honestly hoping he was wrong.

"Ha, nah." Stan answered. "But with these cataracts I might as well be." he chuckled, this only made the kids increasingly worried. "What is that a woodpecker?" he squinted his eyes at what was actually a sign and crashed right through it making them scream in terror.

After a few moments of driving through the woods, the family finally arrived at the place where Stan wished to bond with them.

"Okay kids, here we are." he announced, getting out of the car, which had a few branches stuck in it, the siblings groggily got out of the vehicle.

"Next time. I drive!" Lori declared, regaining her footing.

"Seconded." Lisa agreed, fixing her glasses.

"Are you kidding, that was so much fun!" Lana exclaimed.

"Okay kiddos, open them up." Stan told them, which they did so.

"Ah!" Leni screamed. "Guys, I still can't see!"

"Open your eyes Leni." Stan sighed.

The blonde complied. "Oh, that's more like it." she smiled.

"Now, ta-da!" Stan showed them that they were at the Gravity Falls lake, behind him a sign that read FISHING SEASON: OPENING DAY. "Fishing Season starts today!"

Lake Gravity Falls wasn't the biggest, but it was size able enough to house a variety of sea life, making it the ideal fishing spot for the townspeople. Not only that, but it te also used for bonding attempts.

"Fishing?" Lana and Lola questioned, confused like their siblings; this was very unexpected.

"Okay, what game are you playing at old man?" Lynn asked, baffled by Stan's sudden wanting to bond, he's never tried before, so why star now?

"Trust me, you're gonna love it." Stan assure. "The whole town's out here." she gestured to the lake where several people from the town were on boats, such as...

Lazy Susan, a waitress at the diner, who also lives up to her name on account of her very droopy eye, she was holding a line and frying pan for the fish to land in.

"Here, fishy fishies." she beckoned. "Get into the pan."

Toby Determined, an amateur journalist who was on the dock, taking a photo of a man who just caught a big one.

"Say cheese." he said, clicking, unfortunately the flash was too bright making the man and his fish fall into the lake.

Then there was Manly Dan, resident lumberjack with a huge temper, he was on another boat with his three sons.

"Uh, is this good?" one of his boys asked, holding up a fishing line.

"No!" the lumberjack exclaimed, he took the line and snapped it in two. "I'll show you how a _real_ man fishes!" he told them, Manly Dan demonstrated this by using his hand to grab one fish from the lake with ease. "Yeah, ha ha!" he laughed triumphantly, he proceeded to slam it to the ground and repeatedly punch it. His sons cheered him on with excitement.

"Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!" they chanted.

"Get him. _Get_ him." a random average looking man who was nearby encouraged.

"See that?" Stan gestured to Dan. "Now _that_ is some quality family bonding, let me tell ya." he nodded with respect.

His niblings were not sure how to make of this, after a week of being an overbearing boss to them at the shack, now he wanted to get to know them better? Completely boggles the mind, some of them wondered if this is how Leni must feel.

"Grunkle Stan, why do you literally want to spend time with us all of a sudden?' Lori asked skeptically.

"Yeah." Lincoln nodded. "You only ever give us the time of day just to work or get caught in one of your highly illegal scams." he siad, getting murmurs if agreements from his family.

"Can't you just ask one of your oldie friends?" Luna asked

The old con man approached them. "Come on, this is gonna be great!" he insisted before explaining. "See, I never had any fishing buddies before, the guys from the lodge won't go with me; they don't "like" or "trust me." he said using air quotes. "Frankly, I don't see why they'd even think that."

"I think he actually wants to fish with us." said Mabel, genuinely surprised.

Stan though of something. "Hey I know what'll cheer you sad sacks up. Pow!" he said as he put on brown fishing hats on each of the kids. "Pines/Loud family fishing hats, I hand stitched the, for just this kind of thing."

The kids looked at the hats uncomfortably, the stitching was very poor, and he turned the E in Mabel's name the other way, plus the L fell off, while with Dipper's hat it read "Dippy".

"Ugh, you expect us to actually _wear_ these?" Lori questioned in disgust.

"Brown? I'd rather take my chances with orange." Leni remarked which got her a deadpanned stare from Lincoln. "Again, you make it look good, little bro." she quickly added.

"Yep, it's just gonna be all fourteen of us in a broken down boat, wearing those goofy hats for ten hours!" Stan announced cheerfully.

" _Ten_ hours?" Dipper repeated, dejectedly.

"Uh-huh." Stan nodded. "Even better, I bought the joke book." he sang, holding up the 1,001 yuck 'em up joke book, approved by uncles.

"No, _no_!" Dipper whispered in horror.

"Anything but that!" Lincoln exclaimed.

"Where are the leeches when you need them?" Lucy asked, not liking this.

"There literally _has_ to be a way out of this." Lori said in desperation.

All of them were voicing their discomfort, however, only one of them seemed to like this. "Ten hours of jokes?" Luan asked with a smile. "Sign me up!"

"I seen it! I seen it again!" an aged hillbilly voice yelled out, getting everyone's attention.

The voice belonged an elderly man, almost as old as their uncle. He looked like he hadn't bathed in weeks, and looked like a prospector, he ran around frantically pushing past others and flipping over table and slapping away a poor guy's sandwich.

"Who's that?" Lincoln asked quizzically.

His uncle rolled his eyes. "That's just Old Man McGucket. The town's local wackjob, don't pay him any attention, he always makes up stories about some sea monster or something."

McGucket stopped to address everyone. "The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker!" he exclaimed. "Come quick before it scrabdoodles away!" the old guy started moving as if he were doing a dance.

"Aw, he's doing a happy jig." Mabel gushed.

"Supes adorbs." Leni agreed.

"No!" McGucket contradicted, grabbing Mabel by the shoulder, startling her and her sibs. "It's a jig of great danger!" he said shaking her.

"Woah! Back up pops!" Luna frowned, seperating him from her sister.

"Hey!" someone called out, it was an adult man with brown hair and a hat, in his hand was a spray cleaner. "Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers?!" he scowled. "This is your last warning dad!" he said, spraying the old man who happens to be his father.

"But sonny, I got proof this time by gummity!" McGucket claimed. This peaked the kids' interest, they witnessed actual gnomes, so it couldn't be a stretch that there might be a sea monster.

The prospector beckoned everyone to follow him. "Behold!" he showed them a torn up boat. "It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe! And wrinkly skin n like...like this gentleman right here!" he pointed to Stan who was digging in his ear.

"Huh?"

"It chawed my boat up to smitheroons, and shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island!" he pointed to a far away island, cloaked in fog. "You gotta believe me!" he insisted.

Nearby were two policeman who were observing the scene, one was an overweight whilst he other was tall and skinny.

"Attention all units." the chubby one began. "We got ourselves a crazy old man." he chuckled.

Everyone, save for the kids and Stan shared a collective laugh, amused by the old man's rantings, his son could only shake his head in shame and embarrassment.

"It's my tenth birthday all over again." he muttered as he walked back to his cabin.

"Aww donkey spittle! Aww banjo polish!" McGucket lamented as he ran off.

"Well that happened." Lola remarked.

"Alright, the crazy hillbilly is gone." Stan declared with a smile as he climbed on his boat. "Now lets untie this puppy and head out to the lake."

"Guys." Dipper addressed his siblings. "Did you hear what that old dude said?" he asked them with an excited smile.

"Aww donkey spittle!" Mabel replied, mimicking McGucket, complete with the accent.

"Aww banjo polish!" Lana mimicked as well.

"The other thing, about the monster." Dipper clarified. "If we can snag a photo of it, we could all split the prize money with us and Grunkle Stan."

Mabel gasped. "That's like fourteen fifties."

"Now just wait Dipper." Lori interjected sternly. "We nearly got wasted by a bunch of little creeps a few days ago, I didn't enjoy it, but I dealt with it. But a sea monster? Thanks but no thanks."

"And I wanna hear all the jokes Stan has." Luana added.

"Come on guys." Dipper urged. "Just imagine what you would do with all that cash?"

Lori, Mabel, and Luan imagined it...

* * *

 _Mabel's fantasy..._

Using the prize money, Mabel was able to buy that human-sized hamster ball, she stood smugly over the family pet hamster, Geo.

"Not so high and mighty anymore, huh Geo?" she told him.

The little rodent could only bow his head in shame.

Mabel ran around laughing gleefully, she crashed through the wall, not really caring. Downtown, a car stopped at a red light, the two passengers were very animated, radical looking young men.

"Hey, boys." Mabel called flirtatiously, the two looked at her in shock. "You can look, but you can't touch." once the light turned green, she rolled away, squeaking while doing so.

"Awesome." they both breathed.

* * *

 _Lori's fantasy..._

In the big city, we bring our focus to a huge building, filed with employees, Lori was wearing a business suit, and walked with an aura of authority. She was busy talking on the phone.

"Move next Sunday's meeting to Monday, I'm having lunch with the fam." she ordered. "Also, get me Johnson's two week notice."

"Excuse me, Ms. Loud?" a male employee got her attention. "You're 2 o'clock's just arrived." he informed her.

Lori promptly hung up and went into her office. "I am not to be disturbed." she ordered as she closed the door. Now that she was alone, she took out a mirror and checked herself for any imperfections, then a knock on her door was heard. "Come in."

The door opened to reveal none other than her longtime love interest, Bobby Santiago, he was wearing a tuxedo and had an enamored look on his face.

"Miss me babe?" he asked sweetly as he walked over to her and pulled her close.

"You have no idea, boo-boo bear." she replied. They affectionately embraced each other and kissed.

* * *

 _Luan's fantasy..._

One night in the town, everyone was lining up for the latest act that has swept the comedy world by storm, inside the comedy club countless people were seated, watching patiently for tonight's guest.

"And now ladies and gentlemen! Please welcome the greatest comedian of the century, Luan Loud!"

The curtains pull back to reveal Luan with her trusty wooden dummy, Mr. Coconuts.

"Hey Mr. Coconuts." Luan adreseed her wooden compatriot. "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"I don't know Luan, why?"

"His taxi cab was on the other side, but couldn't get there in time, guess he was out of _cluck._ Ha ha ah." she laughed. The audience instantly roared in laughter as well, they held their stomachs, pounded their fists against the tables, and applauded Luan Loud for her comedic genius. "Than you! Thanks everyone!" Luan waved. "I'll be here all night."

* * *

 _Back to reality..._

The three Loud sisters that were just having fantasies of their greatest desires, now had hopeful looks on their faces. Even if the slightest chance of them living those dreams was the exact motivation they needed. They were in.

"Guys? Guys." Lincoln snapped his fingers, freeing them from their dream-like state. "You kinda zoned out for a little."

"So are you in or out?" Dipper questioned.

"Dipper, I am one _million_ percent on board with this!" Mabel told her twin with a determined look. "Right girls?" she asked her sisters who gave shout of agreement.

"Yeah!"

"Alright!" Dipper smiled and then turned to his uncle and wrapped an arm around him. "Grunkle Stan, slight change of plans, we want to take that boat to Scuttlebutt Island and find that gobblewonker!" he declared.

"Yeah, monster hunt!" Lana cheered, inciting a chant from the band of siblings.

"Monster hunt!"

"Monster hunt!"

"Monster hunt!"

During this, they noticed that McGucket returned briefly and joined in. "Monster hunt! Monster-er." he stopped as he saw the weird out looks the family was giving him. "I'll uh, I'll just go now." he said, walking away.

Just then, a nearby horn was heard, geting the kids' attention, they turned and saw an approaching boat, not only that but the driver was their good friend, Soos. His boat was named the S.S. Cool Dude.

"You dudes say something about a monster hunt?" Soos asked, casually.

"Soos!" Mabel smiled along with her siblings, happy to see him.

"What's happening my man?" Luna greeted.

"Cool boat." Lynn complimented.

"Wassup hambones?" Soos greeted back as he exchanged fist bumps with Mabel, Luna, and Lynn. He also ruffled Lana and Lily's hair affectionately. "So dudes, you can totally use my boat for your hunt." he told them. "It's got a steering wheel, some chairs, you know normal boat stuff." he explained, patting the boat.

Stan however tried to dissuade his nieces and nephews. "Okay now let's think this through. You could go waste your time on some epic monster finding adventure." he offered, attempting to make it sound boring (which didn't work.) "Or better yet, you could spend the whole day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your great uncle Stan!"

The Loud kids thought for a moment, this was a very hard choice, spend the day with their cool friend, Soos who was doing an awesome robot dance, or with their old uncle on a smelly broken down that looked like it could break apart any minute. They all looked at Scuttlebutt Island, it was like the island hidden in fog was begging them to search for the supposed monster it was housing. Knowing exactly what to do, they gave each other knowing smiles.

"So, what do you say?" Stan asked, smiling confidently that they'll see things his way. Unfortunately his hopes were shattered as he saw them on Soos's boat and went off.

"Yay!" Mabel cheered. "We made the right choice!"

All Stan could do now was glower at them. "Ingrates!" he yelled, shaking his fist. "Ah who needs them? I got a box full of fish corpses to keep me company." he gestured to the box filled with dead fish and cringed at the way they looked. All smelly and lifeless.

* * *

The Loud kids and the handyman were sailing fast to Scuttlebutt Island with a huge sense of adventure. This was their chance to not only go on a monster hunting adventure but they could get a huge load of cash as a result.

Dipper was standing on the front like an adventurer. He was determined to get that picture.

"Hoist the anchor!" he commanded which Soos and Lori did. "Set sail!" Mabel, Lincoln, and Lucy held up the boat's flag which read FUN and had a sun with shades.

"We're gonna find that Gobblewonker!" Lynn exclaimed filled with confidence.

"We're gonna win that photo contest!" Lincoln declared.

"Hey, did anyone pack any sunscreen?" Soos asked.

The boat instantly stopped, everyone just realized that they didn't pack any sunscreen.

"Dang it." Lana and Lola declared.

"Don't worry, I got some right here." Leni said taking a bottle out. "I always have it with me for the summer."

"Nice job Leni." Lincoln complimented.

With that out of the way, the family of monster hunters were ready to go off to their grand adventure. Little did they know, underneath them, in the dark shallow waters of the lake, the silhouette of a huge beast swam by, ready to hunt for its next prey.

* * *

Once they got the sunscreen, the crew were ready to get back into the hunt, they, minus Dipper, were lined up in front of said boy. He was pacing with a serious expression.

"Alright people, if we want to win this photo contest we have to do this right." he told them. "Think. What's the number one problem with most monster hunts?" he asked them.

"Easy, if you split up then the monster will pick you off one by one." Lincoln replied.

"Ooh I know! You forgot to bring your best monster hunter outfit." Leni said.

"The naivety of thinking you'll actually survive a monster attack." Lucy put in her two scents.

"If you're a side character you die in the first five minutes of the movie." Soos said then he looked worried. "Dude, am I a side character? Do you ever think about stuff like that?"

"Please." Lisa scoffed. "The best answer is encountering complications with your device that photographs images." Everyone was silent making her sigh. "Camera trouble." she clarified.

"Bingo." Dipper pointed to Lisa. "For example, say Bigfoot shows up. Soos be Bigfoot." he told him. Sood was able to pull off his best surprised Bigfoot pose. "There he is, it's Bigfoot." Dipper faked being surprised, then looked through his pockets. "Uh oh, no camera; oh wait there it is." he smiled as he pulled one out. "Drat, no film. You see? See what I'm doing here?" he questioned, hoping everyone was on the same page as him.

His siblings nodded I understanding.

"Oh, yeah." Mabel said.

"You're onto something little bro." Lori told him.

"Dude's got a point." Soos commented.

"So, that's why Lincoln and I took the liberty in buying a ton of disposable cameras." he declared. "Four on my ankles, three in my jacket, four for each of you, three extras in this bag, and one under my hat."

"Nice idea by the way bro." Lincoln complimented.

"Thanks." Dipper smiled. "See guys? As long as we have a plan, there is absolutely no way we're gonna miss this." he said, confident. "Okay, everybody lets test our cameras out."

Soos was holding one of his cameras, but the flash surprised him, making him drop it in the lake. "Oops, sorry dude." he apologized.

"No worries." Dipper assured him. "This is why we need backup cameras, we still got plenty."

A bird then swooped past Mabel, startling her.

"Ah bird!" she yelled, throwing two of her cameras at it, which also went into the lake.

"Guys, you shouldn't be so careless." Leni chided, until she accidentally dropped her camera. "Oopsy. Okay, that was my bad, but I still got three left." She said holding them up. Then, the same bird swooped in and took them. "Uh...can I have some more?" she asked sheepishly.

"Hey, that's my camera!" Lana shouted at her twin, playing tug of war with another one.

"No it's not!" Lola protested. "It was in my jacket!" she pulled one last time, making the camera fall on the floor and broke apart.

Dipper was now getting nervous. "Okay, guys I repeat, _dont_ loose your cameras."

"Wait, did you say loose the cameras?" Soos and Leni asked in unison.

"No, don't loose them!" Dipper corrected, aggravated.

Soos cringed. "Sorry dude, but Leni and I just threw two away." he told him, pointing at the lake.

"Sorry Dipper." Leni apologized.

Dipper was really starting to loose his cool. "No to worry!" he said through clenched teeth. "We still have more than enou-" he was cut off by him accidentally smashing one of his. "Dang it."

"Oh are we smashing the cameras?" Lynn asked hopefully. "Sweet!" she smashed all her cameras with her fists.

"I know this might anger you more, but my camera is out of film." Lucy told him.

"See people? This is why I have a phone." Lori said smugly, until she saw the battery percentage. "Aaaaand it's at zero. Dang it."

"So what's the plan?" Mabel asked. "Do we throw all the cameras in the lake or what?" she said holding a bag full of them over the deck.

"No, that's not the plan at all!" Lincoln told her, then composed himself. "Okay, look guys, there's too much chaos here. What we need is to establish a chain of command or maybe assign everyone a task."

"Good idea Linc." Dipper complimented. "Okay, Mabel, you, Luan, Lana, and Lola are on lookout. Soos can work the steering wheel with Lori, Luna, and Leni. Lisa, Lynn, Lucy, and Lily will be navigation. Lincoln will be first mate, while I'll be captain."

"What? Why do you get to be captain?" Mabel questioned indignantly. "What about Mabel, huh?" she pointed to herself and started chanting her name. "Mabel! Mabel! Mabel! Mabel!"

"Um, excuse me?" Lori interjected. "Has anyone forgotten that I'm the oldest? It should literally be me."

"You always use that as an excuse to get your way." Lisa said. "Logically it should be me considering I'm intellectually superior."

"Can I be captain?" Leni asked.

"No!" Everyone was now arguing on who should be captain until Dipper silenced them with a whistle.

"Sorry guys, but I already called dibs. Besides, I'm not sure any of you being captain is a good idea." he said honestly.

"What about co-captain?" Mabel suggested.

"There's no such thing as co-captain." Dipper informed her.

"Besides, I'm first mate so I'm second in command." Lincoln reminded.

"Hey Leni, can I see that camera?" Mabel asked her.

"Okay!" Leni responded handing it to her.

"Woops." Mabel intentionally threw it in the lake.

"Okay fine!" Dipper finally conceded. "You, Lincoln, and I can all share a commanding role."

"Can I be associate co-captain?" Soos asked.

"As co-captain I authorize that request." Mabel replied.

"As first mate, I suggest we focus on our mission." Lincoln said.

"As first captain, I agree. Our first order of business is to lure the monster out using this." Dipper gestured to a barrel full of fish food.

"Permission to taste some?" Soos asked.

"Oh me too! Me too!" Lana chirped happily.

"Granted." Dipper responded.

"Same here." Lincoln nodded.

"Permission co-granted!"

"Permission associate co-granted." Soos said as he and Laba bites out of the fish four, the handyman regretted doing so once he started coughing and spitting it out making the kids laugh humorously. "Oh ew. Why did I even eat it?"

"More for me then!" Lana happily said as she continued to eat.

"Save some for the monster Lana." Lincoln told her.

Stan was glaring at them from afar, still bitter about his own family wanting to spend time looking for some monster that may or may not exist more than to bond with him.

"Traitors." he grumbled. "I'll find my own fishing buddies." He looked around to see who could possibly fill in the void left by his niblings, his eyes fell on a far away boat with two people. "Ah!" he smiled. Stan turned the motor on and went to them. "There's my new pals!"

At the nearby boat, there was a nice young couple happily enjoying their time together, the man turned around when his girlfriend wasn't paying attention, and looked hesitantly at a box with a diamond ring on it. He needed to make sure he was up fur this, it's been several months, their relationship was going strong, and now was the time to finally ask her.

He took a deep breath and turned to her. "Now that we're alone Rozanna, there's a burning question which heart longs to ask of you." he told her.

"Oh Reginald." she sighed dreamily.

However, before he could pop the big question, Stan interrupted as he popped in.

"Hey, wanna hear a joke?" he asked.

"Uh-"

"Here it goes. My ex-wife still misses me, by her aim is getting better!" Stan exclaimed. None of them laughed. "Her aim is getting better!" he tried again, once again silence. "See it's funny because marriage is terrible." The couple abruptly paddled away from the old man. "What?!" Stan questioned. "You know if my niece Luan was here, she'd get it!"

* * *

After 20 minutes, the Loud kids and Soos were able to make it close to the shore of Scuttlebutt Island. It was hard to perfectly see the island due to the fog, so they turned on some lanterns to light the way. Some like Leni were kinda nervous by the eerie atmosphere of the place so Mabel and Luan decided to lighten things up with a pelican.

"Hey there Mr. Pelican, how's it going?" Luan asked.

"It's going awesome!" Mabel replied, using its bill like a puppet and adopting a deep voice. "Bow bow, buh bow bow!"

"You guys, leave that thing alone." Lincoln told them.

"Aw I don't mind none!" 'Mr. Pelican' replied. "Hey look I'm drinking water!" Mabel said as she drank while trying to talk through the bird. "Twinkle twinkle little sta-" she choked on the water and the bird flew away.

Luan patted her back comfortably. "Deep breaths sis, deep breaths."

"Aren't you two supposed to be doing lookout with the twins?" Dipper reminded them wit a stern frown.

"If you insist. Lookout!" Mabel grinned and threw a volleyball at Dipper making him wince.

"Watch it!"

"Heh heh." Mabel giggled. "But seriously I'm on it."

Lynn then popped in. "Hey, there's my volleyball." she said picking it up. "Was looking all over for it. So you were the one who took it Mabel." she glared.

"Told ya it wasn't me." Lincoln told Lynn.

"Yeah, sorry little bro."

Before Lincoln could respond, the boat crashed onto the shore making everyone Loose their balance a little and Mabel fell down hard on the ground but was able to get back up with no problem.

"See? We're here!" Mabel announced. "I'm a lookout genius." she praised herself as everyone got off the boat. "Hamster ball here I come!"

The kids and Soos looked around their new surroundings, it was hard to see the island from afar, now it was even harder to see anything at all on land. The lantern Dipper on his hand was able to light the way.

"Man, I'm getting all kinds of bad vibes from this place dudes." Luna said, gazing around.

"The amount of advection that has formed in this island formation will make it difficult for our retinas to properly view anything." Lisa remarked. "It'd be a miracle if we do find this Gobblewonker." the prodigy took out a tape recorder. "Note to self: think of scientific name for creature."

"We won't find it with that attitude." Lincoln told her, even though he didn't get most of what she said, it sounded negative.

Lucy was mostly quiet and heard an owl nearby. "An island shrouded in fog that makes you uncertain if we're ever finding a way out of here and there might be a monster lurking in the waters ready to strike." after a second she smiled. "We should come here more often."

"Hey dudes check it out." Soos gestured to a sign that read Scuttlebutt Island, he covered the Scuttle part. "Butt Island." he snickered.

Everyone except Dipper shared a laugh at Soos's humor. The handyman can always find a way to make them laugh.

"Soos, you rapscallion." Mabel playfully admonished.

"Hilarious man." Lana chuckled.

Mabel noticed that her twin wasn't the only one sharing in the laughing. "Hey why aren't you laughing? Are you scared?" she teased poking his face.

"What? N-No I'm not." he defended.

His twin poked him on on the face with a raspberry. "Pfft. Yeah you are." she insisted and continued to do it.

"Mabel stop it." Dipper objected, but she kept on poking him. "Quit it."

Just then, an eerie growl was heard from afar startling them and making Mabel stop and Lola and Lana clinging to Soos, they all looked around nervously looking for the source.

"Dudes, did you hear that?" Soos asked.

"Kinda hard not to." Lori gulped.

"M-Maybe it was Soos's stomach." Leni suggested, quivering a little.

"Nah my stomach normally sounds like whale noises." Soos informed them. Mabel ,the twins, and Lily pressed their ears to Soos's but and indeed they heard the sound of a whale's moaning.

"Oooooh." Lana, Lola, and Lily marveled.

"So majestic." Mabel breathed in awe.

Dipper noticed a possum grabbing the lantern by its teeth and scurried off. "Oh no, our lantern!"

"Chill bro we still got a flashlight." Luna said, until it blinked a little and turned off. "Seriously?" she glared.

"Great now we can't see a thing." Lincoln said, squinting his eyes.

"I don't know man, maybe this isn't worth it." Soos told him.

Lisa nodded. "Soos makes a valid point, searching for a creature that's existence is at best questionable is highly trivial."

"But we're so close I can feel it." Lincoln claimed.

Dipper nodded. "Seriously, imagine what could happen if we get that picture." the two brothers proceeded to have their own fantasy.

* * *

 _Dipper and Lincoln's fantasy..._

In their own mind, Dipper and Lincoln were able to get a picture of the Gobblewonker and as a result went onto become a world famous adventurers. Presently they were guests in a nighttime talk show.

"Tonight we're here with adventure seeker brothers Dipper Pines Loud and Lincoln Loud, who bravely photographed the elusive Gobblewonker." the host, Charlie announced. "Tell me you two, what's the secret to your success?"

"Well we run away from nothing." Dipper boldly claimed, drinking some coffee.

"Unless you count our annoying Grunkle Stan whom we ditched in order to pursue that lake monster." Lincoln added.

"How right you two were to do so. He looked like a real piece of work." Charlie commented and then sat up. "You know I don't normally do this but I feel the need to give you two awards." He proceeds to hand them medals.

The two brothers smiled at this and for the flashing cameras but their joy was cut short when they heard the wall crash down.

"Charlie!" a familiar voice to them exclaimed.

The camera turned to see that it was none other than their sister, Mabel who was still inside her human shaped hamster ball. She looked like she hadn't bathed in weeks and had a crazy look on her face.

"Why won't you interview me?!" she demanded and charged at them making everyone run away in fright.

* * *

Back to reality, Dipper, Lincoln, and Mabel were smiling brightly and were determined to find that lake monster.

"I'm in!" Lincoln declared.

"Me too!" Mabel agreed.

The three of them rushed off to find the monster and accomplish their dreams.

"Hey wait up little sibs!" Luna shouted running after them along with the others.

For hours, they scoured throughout the majority of the island trying to find any trace, any sign of the Gobblewonker, but all they could find was more fog, squirrels, and possums.

Mabel, Soos, and Lana passed the time by doing a little beat boxing with Mabel singing lead, going all freestyle.

"My name is Mabel, it rhymes with table, it also rhyme with glabel, it also rhymes with Schmabel." Mabel rapped.

"Dude we should be writing this stuff down." Soos remarked.

"Guys, guys, quiet." Dipper hushed them. "Do you hear that?

Everyone stood completely still as the same mysterious beastial growl from before once again made the call. Dipper looked ahead and saw a flock of crows fly away from one area. That must be where the Gobblewonker was.

"This is it!" Dipper eagerly exclaimed. He, Mabel, and Lincoln moved forward to the location with the others tailing behind with Soos picking up a sodden spear for protection. They went deep into the fog until they were near a lake If you squint you can see the silhouette of a sea monster. They all gasped and behind a log to avoid being discovered.

"Everyone, get your cameras ready." Dipper whispered cautiously which they did so, they waited until the timing was perfect. "Ready...now!" he declared.

Soos acted first by running head first into the fray screaming and pressing the camera multiple times while doing so. The fog began to clear up allowing them to see what the image really was...just some scrap from a broken boat that was now a home to some beavers.

'I love cavorting!' one chirped in its own language.

'That deserves a hug!' the beaver next to him replied which he gave its friend. The third one slipped and fell into the water.

They all just stared in disbelief.

"Huh. Not gonna lie, I'm a little disappointed." Lincoln remarked.

"Ditto." Luna nodded.

"Completely anticlimactic." Lucy agreed as well.

"But-but what was that noise then?" Dipper questioned wit a frown. "I heard a monster noise." he said with sincerity.

"Um Dipper." Lynn pointed to one beaver playing with a rusty old chainsaw.

"Sweet, beaver with a chainsaw!" Soos smiled taking a picture.

Leni clapped her hands eagerly. "I hear a photo shoot!" she said excited and also took photos of her own.

"Maybe that old guy was crazy after all." Dipper decided with a lot of dismayed, they went all this way for nothing, definitely not something worthy of a medal.

"He did use the word scrabdoodle." Mabel noted equally dismayed.

"Along with other old timey phrases that no one uses in real life." Lincoln added sadly.

They were all disappointed in many levels, any hope of getting what they wanted with the prize money was shattered now that it was clear that they came on this ride for a whole lot of nothing. All Dipper could do was sigh heavily.

* * *

Back with Stan, his next attempt to get a boating buddy was by giving advice to a nearby little kid.

"Look, when you're threadin' the line-lot of people don't know about this-but you wanna use a _barrel_ knot." Stan told the uncomfortable kid. "That's a secret from one fishing buddy from another. Heh heh!" he whispered.

"Uh, I, uh, who are you exactly?" the boy timidly asked.

"Just call me your Grunkle Stan!" he cheerfully answered put his arm on his shoulder.

"Sir, SIR, SIR!" his mother exclaimed standing with her husband. "Why are you talking to our son? If you don't leave right now, I'm calling the police!" she threatened.

Stan laughed nervously. "Ha ha, see the thing about that is-" the old man started the boat's motor and speeds away as fast as he could.

"Go bother your own kids!" the mother shouted at him as he sped off.

* * *

With the kids and Soos, they were disappointed that there wasn't any monster for them to cash in, making their trip completely pointless. Leni and Soos were currently taking photos of a random beaver while everyone else sat around, completely bored.

"Ooh yeah, work it! Work it!" Soos cheered.

"The camera loves , you buck toothed beautiful creature!" Leni cheered as well. "Nice! Yes, give us another pose." she told it, but the animal got tired of the attention and went away.

Dipper sitting on a rock with a melancholy look, out of all of them he was the most saddened, he put a lot of hope and determination into finding this sea creature, also guilty that he involved his family in it. "Sorry I roped you all into this." he apologized to his siblings. "I know how much you all would have wanted that prize money."

"Don't worry about it bro." Luna dismissed with a wave. "I honestly didn't really care about the money, this just seems like a cool thing to do with my sibs." she admitted.

"I came along mainly due to my curiosity." Lisa said.

"You have to admit, this was kinda better than listening to Stan's jokes." Lana remarked.

"But I wanted that human sized hamster ball so badly!" Mabel groaned.

"Yeah, well even though I planned on using the money to buy my own company and have Bobby propose to me." she noticed all them giving her blank stares. "Hey I'm allowed to dream. Anyway, I just wanted to come along to make sure no e of you got hurt." she said truthfully. "After what happened with those gnomes I didn't want to take any chances."

"Aw thanks Lori." Dipper responded with a smile before frowning. "But it looks you were wasting your time, because no monster and all."

"I'm actually worried about what we'll tell Grunkle Stan." Lincoln said. "We ditched him over nothing." he told them with guilt on his tone and gazed sadly at his reflection in the water but then a rumbling sound was heard that shook the rock Dipper was sitting on.

"Hey, did you guys hear that-ah!" Dipper helped as another fumble caused him to fall in the water. "Hey, hey, woah woah!"' he exclaimed swimming back to shore.

"I got you Dipper!" Lola said, helping him.

"Guys look!" Lincoln pointed to the silhouette of the actual Gobblewonker swimming away. "It's real!"

"I knew it!" Dipper exclaimed happily and quickly took out his camera to take one photo. "Come on guys, this is our chance!" he told the others, however they were too scared and nervous to act and backed away a little. "What's wrong with you guys?" he asked. Unkown to him, the Gobblewonker rose slowly from the lake behind Dipper.

"Dipper..." Mabel nervously pointed behind him.

"Bro you might wanna look behind you." Lori advised with a lot of fear.

Although Dipper was undeterred. "Come on its easy all you gotta do is point and click, look." she turned around to show them and finally saw the dangerous heart himself, it let out a monster our roar that made him drop his camera.

"Raghhh!"

"Did anyone else slightly soiled themselves?" Lincoln whimpered.

"We all did Lincoln, we all did." Luan answered and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Shall I do the honors?" Lana asked, her and Lana holding together.

"Go right ahead sis." Lola answered.

"Run!"

The Louds and handyman didn't need to be told twice as they ran away from the heart as fast as they could, the Gobblewonker quickly made pursuit of its newfound prey and chased after them into the woods, the sea behemoth topped over trees so that it could crush them. Dipper saw one about to hit Mabel and tackled get out of the way, Lori made sure to hold onto Lily as tightly as she could, Luna carried Lola and Lana, while Luan carried Lisa. They narrowly avoided all the trees knocking down at them.

"We gotta get back to the bote! Hurry!" Soos yelled urgently, hoisting Mabel onto his shoulder.

Despite the present danger Dipper still tried to get photos of the Gobblewonker until he tripped over and dropped the camera. "No the picture!" he tried to run back to get it but Leni carried him away.

"No Dippy, it's too dangerous!" Leni protested. "But don't worry, if it makes you feel any better Soos and I got really nice pictures of those beavers!" she informed him.

"Why would that make me fell better?!" Dipper demanded.

The horrible Gobblewonker increased its speed so that it could catch its prey , but they went faster as they saw the boat just up ahead.

"Let's get out of here dudes!" Soos exclaimed as everyone got on the boat. He started the motor and rode off away from Scuttlebutt Island but the beast followed them in the water.

"Go faster Soos!" Lynn shouted. "We're on its home turf now!"

"I have to get at least one photo." Dipper said taking out another camera but saw a problem. "Dang it! Cracked lens, Soos get a photo!" he ordered his friend. However Soos was throwing away all his cameras at the Gobblewonker hoping to make one dent which want successful.

"Good idea Soos!" Leni said as she too threw away a lot of cameras.

"What're you guys doing?!" Dipper asked frantically.

"Oh don't worry dude! I still got one left, catch!" Soos threw the camera but it broke apart on the wall.

The Gobblewonker smashed into the water causing small waves that rocked the boat making everyone grunt. "Ugh!" Thinking fast Soos sped the boat up and got to the steering wheel to steady the boat.

"Go go go go go!" Dipper urged.

Soos did so by accelerating the speed even more. What they don't know is that they were coming up on Stan who was unsuccessfully trying to thread a line.

"Er, ugh, gah! Mollycoddling." he grunted struggling to tie the knot.

His attention was caught by an elderly man with his two twin grandchildren who bore an uncanny resemblance to Dipper and Mabel.

"Can you pwease tell us mo'e funny stories Pop Pop?" the boy asked hopefully.

"Anything for my fishing buddies!" the old man laughed and patted his grandchildren on the heads making them laugh as well.

Stan growled bitterly at this.

"Pop Pop, I just reawized that I wuv you." the boy told him.

"Ah come on! Boo! Boo!" Stan jeered at them.

"Hey now! What's the big idea?!" the old man demanded not liking Stan's attitude.

"Maybd he has no one who wuvs him Pop Pop." the boy guessed.

"Yeah, well I... I..." before Stan could make a comeback, the S.S. Cool Dude and the Gobblewonker drove past him and soaked him with water. All Stan could do was throw his hat on the ground in frustration and sat down with a depressed sigh.

Back with the chase, the water beast was still in its pursuit of the kids and adult.

"Guys, that thing's catching up fast!" Lola exclaimed looking back.

"We need to go faster!" Lincoln told them.

"I'm afraid that Soos's water bound vehicle is at its limit of acceleration." Lisa informed. "Next thing you know, we'll run out of gas and well you get the idea."

"There's no point in prolonging the inevitable." Lucy declared. "Let's just cut our loses and accept our demise."

"No, I know we can make it out if this!" Dipper said and then saw an obstacle up ahead. "Soos, beavers!" he pointed to the monster shaped wreck with the beavers.

'We're still beavers.'

"Ahhhhh!" everyone screamed as the boat crashed into of allowing the beavers to hop aboard and landed on them and bit on them and the boat much to their discomfort.

"Ah beavers, no!" Soos panicked.

"They're on my hair!" Lola cried.

Beavers were biting on Dipper's hat, Lincoln's arms, Mabel's sweater and so on, the kids tried to get them off them. Then on jumped at Soos's face making him run away from the wheel, seeing this Lori quickly took over and steered the boat the other wY throwing the beavers overboard. She guided the S.S. Cool Dide through the other fishing boats with the heart following underwater, it tipped over nearly all of the boats.

Dan and his sons were coming up. "Haha headlock!" the lumberjack laughed doing the aforementioned move on the fish with his kids cheering him on until they too were thrown overboard. After emerging from the water fish began to rain down on them. "Ah! The fishes, they seek revenge!" he exclaimed fearfully. "Swim boys, swim!" he urged his sons.

The Gobblewonker swiped at the S.S. Cool Dude, tearing off the control cabin and Soos's shirt, luckily they all ducked out of the way.

Mabel looked ahead and gasped. "Ah! Lori, heads up!"

Up in front, two guys were trying to steadily move a large glass sheet over the water.

"Easy... Easy..." one of them warned. Unfortunately the boat crashe through it shattering it to pieces.

"Our glass!" the other guy shouted.

Lori then saw a dead end up ahead. "Oh jeez! Where do I go?!" she asked frantically, the right and left side were blocked by rock formations.

Dipper thought of an idea and took out the journal and stopped at a page. "Uh go into the falls!" he advised. "I think there might be a cave behind thete!"

"Might be?!" Lori repeated.

"It's our only option left!" Lincoln reasoned.

It was risky but Lori reminded herself that she came along to protect her younger siblings, even the slightest chance was worth taking. She drove right at the falls and everyone braced themselves by closing they're eyes in case there wasn't a cave, fortunately they passed through harmlessly and indeed found a cave behind the falls, although they still had their eyes closed making Lori accidentally crash on the shore making everyone fall off.

"Uhh." Lincoln groaned getting up. "Everyone okay?" he asked.

His answer was a collective groan. "You know right now those gnomes don't really seem like a bad thing." Luan said. They got up and dusted themselves off and were relived that they were out of danger but once again panicked as the Gobblewonker also went through the falls. They held each other and waited for the end to come but didn't feel a thing they saw that the sea creature couldn't fit through the entrance and thus couldn't make it through.

"Its stuck." Mabel observed, smiling, everyone sighed in sweet relief, they were now out of danger.

Lincoln sat down on the ground. We're safe, were finally safe." he breathe heavily. "I need to sit down."

Lori kneeled down next to him and patted his head. "Take it easy little brother, take it easy."

"Oh yeah! we took down a giant gnome and now a sea monster, nothing can touch us!" Lynn cheered.

"Haha yeah!" Dipper cheered as well high-fiving Lynn and then remembered what Mabel just said. "Wait, its stuck?" he repeated hopefully, now was his chance to get a descent photo. He reached into his jacket but there was no camera, he searched frantically for an extra one but couldn't find any, luckily Mabel came to his rescue.

She took of his hat, revealing the camera he stored under there.

"Boop." she smiled."

"Hahaha!" Dipper laughed in joy. He began to take several photos of the sea monster, making sure to get every detail. All the Gobblewonker could do was continue to struggle to get out.

"Did you get a good one?" Mabel asked.

"They're all good ones!" Dipper answered cheerfully hugging his twin who happily returned it. Everyone celebrated over the success of their mission.

"Whoo! Hamster Ball!"

"Make way for Luan, world!"

As they cheered, a pillar fell down on the beast's head, making a very deep THUNK sound, the weird thing was that it sounded like it was smashed against metal. What was even weirder was that the sound of a power down was heard and the Gobblewonker was sparkling with electricity until it seemed to faint.

"What the..?" Lincoln asked, confused like the others. He shared a glance with an equally stupefied Dipper. They both made their way down and cautiously approached the monster.

Dipper put his hand don it and pulled back once he felt how cold it was, Lincoln banged his fist against it, and saw that the scales were metal like furthering their confusion.

"What's wrong?" Lucy asked.

"Careful little bros." Luna advised.

"Don't worry, we got this." Dipper assured. "Just hold on." the two brothers crawled over to the other side and found something interesting.

"Hey guys, come check this out!" Lincoln beckoned them. They were a little hesitant but complied nonetheless, they caught up wuith the boys and gathered around their discovery; a handle. Dipper turns it, making steam come out, he opened the hatch and saw Old Man McGucket working on some controls

"Work the bellows and the-Eh?" he notices the gang. "Aw, banjo polish!"

"Wha- Y- You?!" Dipper asked in shock. "You made this? W-w-why?"

The old prospector stammered nervously. "Well I... I, uh... I just wanted attention." he admitted sadly.

"Still don't get it" Leni replied.

McGucket soon went into specifics. "Well ya see, first I just hootenannied up a biomechanical brain wave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with my beard!"

"Dude, we mean _why_ did you do this?" Luna clarified.

"Yeah, you like literally nearly wasted us back there." Lori glared scornfully.

McGucket took of his hat and frowned sadly. "Well kids, when ya get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays attention to you anymore." he told them, the old man began to think back wen his son wouldn't spend time with him. "My own son hasn't visited me in months! So I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robot!" he laughed maniacally before sighing. "In retrospect, it seems to be contrived. You just don't know the lengths us old-timers are willing to through for a little quality time with our family."

The Loud kids shared a collective sad and guilty look, in reality they did know something like that. Their great uncle just wanted to spend time with his niblings and they didn't want to just because it wasn't appealing or fun to them, maybe of they had given it a try they might have; no they selfishly wanted to pursue their desires instead. They all took out the the fishing hats Stan gave them and gave out depressed sighs, only Lucy actually said the word.

"Sigh." she moaned.

"Dude, I guess the real lake monsters are you all, Heh heh." Soos observed with a laugh. "Sorry, that just like-boom-just popped into my head there."

"It's okay Soos." Lincoln replied. "You're actually right."

Lily turned to McGucket." Bah guh bauh ga huh?"

"Allow me to translate." Luan said. "Lily asked that have you ever tried talking to your son about how you felt?"

"No sir, I got work straight on the robot!" the elder turned on a projector which showed schematics and newspaper artcles. "I made lots of robots in my day, like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron, or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party a eighty ton SHAME BOT THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA!" he cackled madly. "Welp time to get back to work on my death ray!" he ducks into the hatch and construction noise could be heard from inside. "Hey, do any of you kids got a screwdriver?" he asked.

"I refuse to partake in shameful acts of using science." Lisa snorted.

"You mean besides experimenting on your family?" Lola snidely remarked.

"Point taken."

"Well, so much for the photo contest." Dipper sighed, knowing that this wasn't a real monster.

"You still have one roll of film left.' Mabel noted.

"What do ya wanna do with it?" Lincoln asked.

"I think the answer's pretty clear." Lori responded.

* * *

The sun was beginning to set, and nearly everyone had gone home, Stan was one of the few people lest and he was not having a good day. He spent much of the day alone, still sad at his niblings leaving him; deciding to cut his losses he was driving back to shore until he heard someone familiar call out.

"Hey, over here!" he looked back and saw the S.S. Coll Dude along wth the kids and Soos, Dipper was the one who called out.

Though he was curious as to why the boat was torn apart, he wasn't pleased t see them. "What the? Kids? I though you all were off to play spin the bottle with Soos." he angrily remarked.

"Eww, Grunkle Stan! Soos is older than us!" Leni cringed. "Plus, he's not really my type. No offense Soos."

"None taken dude."

"Well we spent all day trying to find a legendary dinosaur." Dipper summed up.

"But we realized, the only dinosaur we wanna hang out with is right here." Mabel gestured to Stan.

"You willing to forgive us for ditching you?" Lincoln asked hopefully.

But Stan wouldn't budge. "Save your sympathy!" he barked. "I've been having a great time without ya! Been making friends, stalking my reflection, I even had a run-in with the lake police!" he told them, and revealed an ankle bracelet on him to prove it. "Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun."

"So I guess there isn't room on that boat for fourteen more?" Dipper asked.

Stan glared at hem but soon his expression softens as he saw them put on the fishing hats he made.

"You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed." he asked.

"Bet ya five backs you can't." Lincoln challenged.

"Make it 10!" Lana declared.

"You're on!" Stan replied allowing the kids to get on his boat.

"Five more bucks you can't do it with you're eyes closed, _plus_ me singing at the top of my lungs!" Mabel chimed.

"I like those odds!" Stan then looked at Soos without any top wear. "Woah! What happened to your shirt?"

"Long story dude." Soos answered.

Dipper took out the last camera. "Alright, everyone get together, say fishing!" he announced.

"Fishing!" they all exclaimed, but Soos's face wasn't seen.

"Dude am I on the frame?"

Dipper took the photo nonetheless.

Soon it more photos were taken showing how they spent the rest of the day. Mabel, Lola, and Lana were shielding Stan's eyes as he tried to thread a hook, Stan telling his jokes with only Soos and Luan laughing, Dipper and Limcoln caught two big fish, Stan helped Mabel and Lola steal a fish from the franpa and kids from before. That action led to a high speed chase from the lake police.

Once they made a clean getaway, they were heading back to shore, Dipper was resting comfortably until they bumped into something down below surprising them.

"Woah!"

"What was that?" Dipper asked.

Mabel could only shrug as they headed off tp home.

But...

Down below the lake, one of the cameras was sinking deep down and before it could land, the actual Gobblewonker saw by and ate it! Yet, no one woul ever know of its existence being a reality.

* * *

 **End Credit**

Mabel was still playing puppets with the pelican.

"Hey, who wants to hear a pelican joke?" she asked in a deep masculine voice.

"Not me." Dipper replied, tired of this.

"Please stop." Lincoln begged. "No one wants this."

"Heh heh, yeah you do!" "Mr. Pelican" said.

"I know I do!" Luan chirped.

"Okay here we go, why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant with a chicen?"

"Like no one literally cares." Lori groaned.

"Because he had a big _bill_! La-la-la-la! Hyuk hyuk hyuk! Bla bla bloo! Yay hooray!"

"Ugh boo! Bad, bad pelican joke." Lisa said.

"HAHAHAHHAHA!" Luan laughed. "And I bet the chicken though that was _fowl_!"

Everyone groaned save for her and Mabel.


	3. Chapter 3: Headhunters

**Sorry for the super late update, I need a lot of work to do with my scheduling of all of my stories.**

 **Don't forget to Fave, Follow, and leave your Reviews.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Headhunters**

* * *

Day off; two words that brought much joy and relief to the Loud Kids, after a lot ofweeks of doing hard labor tasked by their strict boss/great uncle, plus that whole skirmish with the Gobblewonker, they felt a little rest and relaxation was deserving. Being the kind of guy that he was, Stan rarely ever gives his employees a day off from work but since business in the shack has been kinda slow recently, there's not much of a reason for them to even bother. Presently, they were in the living room watching one of Gravity Falls's most popular TV series: Duck-Tective, the series about a duck who for some reason is also a detective and works in London in the past alongside his companion, the Constable, they all have taken a real liking to this show. _"I'm afraid you're services won't be required here sir."_ the constable of the show told the duck. The kids were watching intently, Dipper, Lincoln, and Luna were eating a bowl full of popcorn, and Mabel was knitting a new sweater with a little help from Leni and Lola, she was about to reach for some popcorn but Dipper stopped her making his twin pull back. _"My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident."_ he claimed with confidence.

He and Duck-Tective were standing next to a phone booth that has the limb of an unknown dead person sticking out from under it.

Duck-Tectice gave his two scents, and inspected the booth closely. _"Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack? Quack quack quack quack quack?! (An accident constable? Or is it murder?!)_ he quacked dramatically.

 _"What?!"_ the constable exclaimed in shock, he could never have reached that sort of conclusion.

 _"Duck-Tective will return after these messages!"_

Mabel and Leni dropped the sweater and gasped.

"That duck is a genius!" Mabel watched in awe.

Leni nodded. "Seriously, I like never would have figured that out." she said in equal wonder.

Dipper however wasn't so impressed. "Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground." he pointed out.

Mabel squinted doubtfully at her twin. "Are you saying you could outwit Duck-Tective?"

"Oh please, Mabel." Lisa scoffed. "Basically anyone can figure out the case of a crime scene better than a water fowl. And honestly, of course it was murder, what other possible reasons could there be for a corpse being underneath a booth made for telephone communication?"

"Well it was certainly _fowl play._ " Luan remarked with a laugh. Cue group groan.

"I don't know dudes, that duck can see things no one else can." Luna said.

"Remeber that episode when he singled out the thief by the scent of her perfume?" Lori recalled. "Not to mention they had the same colored fingernails, not even I could see it."

"Or how about when he was able to find out who set the mansion on fire by noting that the culprit's alibi didn't add up, and it was so convincing too." Lincoln mentioned.

"My favorite episode was when he dug up that grave and was able to tell that it was a fake body." Lucy said. "I really liked it when they showed the actual one."

"The Constable is kinda corny though." Luan said. "I mean do you hear his puns, You'll never see me doing anything like that." the comedian saw her siblings give her deadpanned stares. "What?"

"Anyways Lisa, if you think that duck isn't so great then why are you even watching his show?" Lynn coyly asked.

"Well to obviously point out its flaws of course." the prodigy declared.

"You sure it isn't because you actually like it a little?" Dipper smirked.

Lisa remained silent, because she couldn't come up with a counter response. "No comment."

Dipper just rolled his eyes. "The point is guys, is that I have very keen powers of observation." he claimed. "For example, Mabel, Lana, just by smelling your breaths, I can tell that you two have been eating..." he takes a sniff and stares at them incredulously. "...two entire tubes of toothpaste?!"

Everyone couldn't realize until now that both of their mouths were covered in sparkling toothpaste.

"It was so sparkly." Mabel reasoned shamefully.

"Well I have no regrets, in fact I'd do it all over again." Lana said, putting her arms in the back of her head in a calm manner.

"Ew Lana, have a little class!" Lola barked at her twin sister, before a fight could begin, Soos runs in, with an excited smile.

"Hey dudes, you'll never guess what I found!" he told them.

"Buried treasure!" Dipper said quickly before anyone else.

"Buried-Hey, I was gonna say that." Lynn chuckled, playfully punching his shoulder.

The kids followed the handyman down to a door that was in a shadowy corridor of the shack, Mabel and the younger twins were clinging to Dipper and Lincoln due to the creepy atmosphere. "How come I've never noticed this part of the shack before?" Lucy commented.

"So, I was cleaning up as per norm, until I found this secret door hidden behind the wallpaper." he gestured to a door covered in ripped wallpaper just as he said. "I'm telling ya, it's crazy bonkers creepy!"

He cautiously opened it to reveal a dark room filled with what appeared to be lifelike wax figures of historical people along with famous actors and comedians. There was Sherlock Holmes, Amelia Earhart, Groucho Marx, Red Foxx, Coolio, Robin Hood, Isaac Newton, Edgar Allen Poe, Lizzie Borden etc.

"Woah, it's like some kind of secret wax museum." Dipper observed, pulling out his flashlight to make it easier for them to see.

"Who are all these guys?" Leni asked bubbly.

"Are you kidding?" Lisa questioned in disbelief. "These moldable substances have been shaped to bear the likeness of very well known figures on history. For starters there's famous horror fiction writer, Edgar Allen Poe." she pointed to it.

This got Lucy's attention. "Where?!" she saw the wax figure of one of her idols. "So beautiful." she whispered.

"Oh man, look it's Reggie White!" Lynn pointed excitedly at the footbal figure.

"Groucho Marx, and Red Foxx, oh where's my camera?" Luan squealed.

"No way, it's Elvis!" Luna gasped.

"They're so lifelike." Mabel said in awe, touching one of the hands.

Lincoln took notice of one that was far in the corner. "Except for maybe that one." he pointed. Dipper set the light to where he was pointing and somehow it looked like their uncle.

"Yeesh, check out that piece of work." Lori said with a cringe.

"Whoever he was must've had a lot of problems." Mabel remarked.

Then it suddenly talked. "You know it's me right?" it asked.

"Aaaaaah!" everyone screamed in terror.

"Heh heh, don't be scared, it's just me your Grunkle Stan!" he proclaimed clearing it up that he wasn't a wax figure. But, this only made them more scared and ran away in fright.

It took a while, but Stan was able to calm his niblings and handyman down, then he began to explain what the room full of statues was about. "Behold, the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! Back in the day, it was one of our most popular attractions. Even more so than the Sascrotch... that is until I forgot all about it." he began to list off the name. "I got 'em all! Sherlock Holmes, Richard Nixon, Genghis Khan..." he stopped at one he couldn't recognize. "Some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?"

"Actually that would be famous tv and radio host, Larry King." Lisa clarified.

"Oh, well like I said I forgot about all these guys. Okay, finally, and this one's my personal favorite, here's Wax Abraham Lincoln!" unfortunately, the wax figure of our 16th president was melted due to exposure to sunlight. "Oh no! Abe Lincoln!" he exclaimed in horror.

"What about Lincoln?" Leni asked, until she saw the puddle. "Oh my gosh, Lincoln!" she broke down to her knees in tears. "Who did this?! Who did this to my baby brother?!" she sobbed, covering her eyes in despair.

"Um, Leni, I'm standing right next to you." Lincoln told her awkwardly.

His older sister looked up and gave him a bone crushing hug. "Oh Linky, you're okay!" she exclaimed in joy.

"Come on, who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking at you're direction!" Stan sent a suspicious glare at it, he bends down with a sign and puts his finger on the melted wax. "How do you fix a wax figure?" he frowned dejectedly.

"Cheer up Grunkle Stan. Where's that smile?" Mabel asks trying to lighten her uncle's mood.

"Eh."

Mabel then began to cheerfully poke his face. "Beep, bop, boop!"

"Ow." Stan winced, this was really uncomfortable.

"Don't worry Grunkle Stan, I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!" Mabel declared. "In fact, it won't just be me." she turned to Lola and Leni. "What do you say girls, you in?"

"Oooh!" Leni squealed. "That sounds like so much fun!"

"Hmm." Lola rubbed her chin in thought before nodding. "Okay I'll participate, only if it means I can bring a little class in this town."

Lana rolled her eyes. "Please, the only thing you could give this town is a how to guide to being a girly princess."

"Take that back, you slob!" at Lola's insult, the twins started fighting like they always do, which prompted their uncle to break it up.

"Hey, hey! Easy, you two, no fighting unless betting is involved." he sternly told them "Anyway, You three really think you can make one of these puppies?" Stan asked skeptically to his 3 nieces. "I hear it takes like hours to make the head or something."

Mabel scoffed. "Grunkle Stan, I am an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue you stuck to my arm?" to prove her point, Mabel held her arm up to show that there was indeed a glue gun, sticked to her arm, she tries to shake it off but it was stuck on pretty good.

"I got it." Lynn said as she was strong enough to pull it off.

"Thanks Lynn. Anyway, not only that, but Leni knows everything about fashion and can make the wax thing look spiffy, and Lola can add a little glitter to make it sparkley enough for everyone!"

"Fun!" Leni clapped her hands.

Stan was still a little hesitant to allow a teenager, a preteen, and a toddler to carry on with a task that may require a lot of sweat and sprained limbs, but then again that's what he makes them do everyday, plus he respects their determination. "I like your gumption kids!"

"We don't know what that word means, but thank you!" Mabel replied.

* * *

The three creative sisters decided that before they work on their own wax figure for the wax museum, they would first come up with some concept artwork ideas of their own making and wanted an opinion.

Dipper, Lori, and Lana were nearby drinking some cans of Pit Cola, seeing them, Mabel approached her siblings.

"Dipper, Lori, Lana!" she shouted to get their attention, which resulted in them choking on their soda.

"What is it Mabel?" Lori asked, annoyed.

"I wanna know what you guys think of our wax figure ideas" Mabel told them. "Show them Leni."

The air headed girl presented a clipboard drawing of a princess who has a horse sticking out of her stomach and her lower half is that of a horse. "Check it out guys, Mabel's idea is part fairy princess, part horse fairy princess." she flips it over. "Mine is a supermodel who's also a secret agent." one final flip. "And Lola's is a pixie with an army of loyal followers."

Their brother and sisters shared a collective confused and weirded out glance.

"So, what do you guys think?" Lola asked.

Dipper made sure to pick his words carefully, as he didn't want to hurt their feelings. "Not to criticize your creativity girls, but maybe you should carve something from I don't know real life." he offered.

"Oh I get it, like a waffle with big arms." Mabel showed them another sketch she made, showcasing it.

"Um, not exactly like that." Lana said.

"Try something simple, like someone or some people from your family." Lori suggested.

As if in cue, Stan walked without his pants on. "Kids, have you seen my pants?" he asked as he placed his foot on a stool and did an explorer like pose. The window was open, allowing sunlight yo enter the room and focused mainly on stan. If there was also a chorus group involved in some way, they would be singing.

Mabel, Leni, and Lola's eyes sparkled as they got a brand new idea. "Oh muse, you work in mysterious ways." they said in unison as they turned around and looked up at nothing.

"Why are your sisters talking to the ceiling?" Stan asked Dipper, Lori, and Lola.

With newfound inspiration, the three sisters went straight to work on the wax sculpture, they busted out all the tools needed, put on the goggles, and started to carve out the appearance, hours went by, they painted it with the right colors, and went off for the occasional bathroom break. After what seemed like forever, they were completwly done with their work and called in Soos and the rest of their siblings to show them. They were all pretty impressed by the work they accomplished together.

Lincoln let out a whislte. "Wow, you guys really outdid yourselves."

"Yeah, remind you to _wax_ you three for anything. Haha get it?" Luan laughed, with only Soos agreeing with her.

"Thanks Lincoln, but..." Mabel backed up to take a thoughtful look. "I think they need more glitter."

"Agreed." Soos and Lola said, the handyman passed over a bucket full of glitter to Mabel, who poured it all over the wax figures.

Soon, Stan walked in, this time tnankfully wearing pants this time, but had no footwear on. "I found my pants, but now I'm missing my-AAHH!" he falls over with a surprised look once he noticed his nieces' work.

"What do you think?" Mabel asked, hoping her uncle would absolutely love what she and her sisters created.

Fortunately, this was the case when Stan smiled widely. "I think the wax museum's back in business!" then took note of another thing. "See you've decided to add some more of them." he noted.

"We thought it would be a nice touch." Mabel smiled.

* * *

As Stan prepared to reintroduce said the wax museum to the public, he tasked his nieves and nephews, along with Soos and Wendy to spread the word to the whole town, within hours the outside of the Mystery Shack was filled with cars that were parked, and people going to their seats.

Soos was guiding them with two tasty corn dogs.

At the stand, Dipper, Lincoln, Lana, Wendy, Luna, and Lori were working the stand.

"Man this place is packed." Lincoln observed, surprised by the such a long line. "All so they could see some creepy wax guys."

"These days, people will pay too see anything bro." Luna told her brother. "Just goes to show ya, the public can be swayed."

"Must why they would actually go to the Mystery Shack." Lori commented with a chuckle.

"Still though, can't believe so many people showed up." Dipper said, he's seen poor gullible people fall for his uncle's tricks, but this was bigger.

"I know right?" Wendy agreed. "Your uncle must've bribed them all or something?" she guessed.

"He bribed us." Lana said, as she, her brothers, and sisters each pulled out a dollar, their redheaded friend also pulled out a dollar of her own, they all shared an amused snicker.

Up on stage, Stan, alongside he rest of the Loud kids and Soos were ready to unveil the attraction. Mabel, Leni, and Lola were especially excited about showcasing their work to the town, Stan then walked up to the microphone standing next to wax figures hidden by sheets. He cleared his throat and tapped it a little, making a high pitch sound much to the discomfort of the audience.

"You all know me folks, town darling, Mr. Mystery." he boldly declared. "Please, ladies control yourselves."

No woman was shown having any interest in Stan, only blank stares.

"As most of you already know, I always bring the people off is fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world has never seen before. But enough about me. Behold...Me!" he exclaimed pulling the sheet off. "Oh and the rest I guess."

He unveiled a wax replica of none other than himself, along with others that resembled the Loud kids. They were made to look like how they posed for the in their own minds, "perfect" group photo they gave their parents for their anniversary.

Soos hits his keyboard making a fanfare sound, followed by a, "Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!"

Only two people in the audience clapped, followed by someone coughing.

"And now a few words firm out very own Mabel-angelo, Leni-atello, and Lola-phael.

"Wait, my name's not really Leni?" Leni asked in shock.

"It's Mabel, Leni, and Lola." Mabel corrected, taking the mic. "Thank you all for coming! My sisters and I made these sculptures with our own hands! They're covered in blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids."

The audience recoiled in disgust.

"Hah hah, thank you Mabel." Lola nervously laughed, as she took a turn with the mic. "Good afternoon, my name is Lola Loud, you may recognize me as a famous pageant winner. Do any of you pleasant looking people have any questions?" she sees a hand raised. "Yes, you there!"

The person who raised his hand was Old Man McGucket, the old coot who chased the kids with his robot monster.

"Old Man McGucket, local kook." he politely introduced himself. "My question is; are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, what do I have to do to survive the wax-man uprising?"

"Um, yes?" Lola replied, confused. "Next question!"

A journalist looking man spoke up, holding what wasn't really a mic on his left hand. "Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really believe this constitutes as a world wonder?" he inquired skeptically.

"Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby." Stan deadpanned.

"It certainly is." Toby lamented.

"Next question." he points to an news anchorwoman. "You there."

"Shandra Jimenez. A _real_ reporter." she sent a pointed look to Toby, who could only look away in shame, she held up one the flyers the kids scattered all over town. "Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is it true?"

"That's what I heard!"

"Come on!"

"What a rip-off!"

"Pizza! I want my pizza!"

The townsfolk began to riot in outrage for not getting the pizza they were promised, the kids in the stand shared a nervous glance as they saw the chaos that was gonna unfold. Pretty soon, everyone was standing up and casted glares at contempt at Stan for not providing them with the food that they were promised to, sometimes the conman's cheapness and thick headed brain would always cause trouble for him no matter what happens, what was happening right now; a perfect example. Stan was especially afraid of Manly Dan punching his open palm with his fist and growling in pure rage that only a lumberjack would be capable of.

"That would be our cue to get out of here." Lisa told Luan and Lucy, who was carrying Lily. The four of them ran into the shack to avoid this.

Stan began panicking, he mentally slapped himself for not expecting this to happen, thinking fast he could only do the most logical thing in a situation such as this. Make a clean getaway. "That was a typo. Good night everyone!" he threw a smokebomb on the floor to cloud him taking all the admission fee with him.

This did not sit well with the crowd as one big guy among him sighed sadly, one could see that his shirt read "I Love Pizza." One s threw his chair aside and broke a lot of the chairs.

"In your face!" Manly Dan angrily punched a hole and left along with the furious people.

Now, the remaining Louds were left with a huge mess caused by the riot. "I think that well." Mabel confidently said, leaning on the admission table.

* * *

Later that evening, Stan and the kids were in the living room, the elder was counting up all the cash he was able to get from that fiasco. "Hot pumplin pie! Look at all this cash!" he happily said. "And we all know who to thank."

Mabel, Leni, and Lola were wiping Wax Stan, having moved the rest of the wax Louds to the back. Having overheard their uncle, they expected him to thank the three of them for his success.

"This guy!" Instead, he pointed to his wax doppelgänger. Mabel playfully punched his big gut. "Oof! Heh heh, okay I guess you three deserve some of the credit too." he admitted, ruffling Mabel's hair. "Now you and the rest go wash up. Tomorrow, we got another long day of fleecing rubes!" he urged them to go upstairs to the bathroom. "Go, go!" He sighed as he leaned on Wax Stan's shoulder. "Kids."

After that, Stan and his double watched some quality Duck-Tective, they reached up to the final moments of the episode where the main character and the Constable were standing near a tied up criminal.

 _"Well Duck-Tective, it seems that you've really quacked this case."_ the Constable quipped.

 _"Quack quack quack quack quack. (Don't patronize me."_ the water fowl quacked.

Stan laughed at this. "Stupid duck!" he insulted as he stood up. "Well, I'm gonna go use the John, you need anything?" he asked Wax Stan, his answer, nothing but silence. "Ha ha! I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere." he advised as he left.

Upstairs in the bathroom, the Loud kids were brushing their teeth in sync, getting ready to go to bed.

"Hey guys, wanna do a toothbrush race?" Mabel asked.

"Okay." Lincoln replied.

"You're so on!" Lynn agreed as well.

However, before they could even begin, a shout of terror belonging to Stan was heard from downstairs.

"No... No... Nooooooooooo!"

The kids stopped brushing and rushed out to go down to the living room to see what was up.

"Grunkle Stan, what's the matter?" Lana asked worriedly.

They saw their uncle tremble fearfully. "Wax Stan! He's been... m-murdered!" he gestured to the body of Wax Stan that was flat on the ground... with no head!

His kids could only gasp in shock, Mabel, Leni, and Lola were so horrified they fainted in Dipper, Lori, and Lana's arms.

"Well, that's one way to lose your head. Ha ha ha ha." Luan laughed, everyone gave her an angry look. "Yeah, you're right that was way inappropriate." she hung her head in guilt.

Stanford Pines wasted no time in calling the police to investigate this, right now he was describing to Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland what he recalled of this entire ideal.

"S-So I got up to use the John right? And when I came back, blamo! He's headless!" he told the officers who were taking notes.

Mabel, Leni, and Lola were especially mortified by this, Wax Stan was one of their greatest works, and now he was dead. Oh, what a world we live in when our wax models of our relatives get beheaded.

"Our expert hand crafting. Besmirched. Besmirched!" Mabel cried out, holding her face in her hands.

"This is so horrible!" Leni sobbed, breaking down to her knees.

"Whoever did this will pay." Lola promised. "They. Will. Pay!"

Dipper moved to land comforting hands on his twin and Leni's shoulders. "Who would do this?" he asked the police.

"What's your opinion Sheriff Blubs?" Durland asked his superior.

The sheriff looked at the family apologetically. "Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts, this case is unsolvable."

"What?!" everyone exclaimed in outrage.

"You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!" Stan scowled, he expected these cops to help, but they're practically useless, no wonder he's been running from police for years.

"You're kidding right?" Dipper asked. "There must be evidence, motives."

"Don't you guys have someone for this?" Lincoln asked. "Why don't you call him in?" he suggested

"You know I can help out, if you want." Dipper told them.

Mabel and the others nodded eagerly, no one could figure out a mystery like their brother. "He's really good. He figured out who's been eating our tin cans." Leni said.

"All signs pointed to the goat or Lana. In the end, it turned to be both of them." Dipper said.

"And we covered our tracks well." Lana added.

"Yeah, yeah let the boy help." Stan agreed as well, if he can't count on the cops, then family might as well be the next best thing. "He and the one with glasses each have a brain up their heads."

The two policemen looked amused. "Ooooh well look what we got here." he nudged his companion. "City boy here thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!"

"City boy! City boooooooooy!" Durland chanted.

"Kid, you are adorable." Blubs chuckled.

"Adorable?" Dipper repeated as if the word was foreign to him.

The two irresponsible officers proceeded to laugh cruely at his expense, which did not sit well with his brother and sisters.

"Hey!" Lori barked with a scowl, making them ceases their laughter. "Dont you dare mock our brother, jerks!"

"Yeah, he can solve this case way better than you!" Luna told them.

"He's one of the smartest people we know other than Lisa, so don't downplay that!" Lincoln said in anger.

"So back off, or else!" Lynn warned.

"Aww ain't you a cutie-" Durland began until the jock girl kicked him in the shin. "Ow!"

"All you two ever do is slack off and barely do your assigned occupation." Lisa said. "It's amazing that you haven't been removed of duty yet."

Dipper smiled, he was touched that his family was defending him.

"Hey now little missy, I have you know my deputy and I conduct very important police work." Blubs argued. His walky tally then turned on and dispatch spike through it.

 _"Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe kn his mouth, I repeat an entire cantaloupe. If you don't wanna miss this moment in history, then get down here right this instant."_

"It's a 23:16!" Durland exclaimed excitedly.

"Let's move out!" Blubs ordered, the two ran off laughing all the way.

Dipper was really ticked off by that adorable remark, they'll see, just because he's a kid doesn't mean he can't solve the mystery, he looked to his siblings and saw his twin, Leni, and Lola begin to tear up because no one was gonna bring justice to them and their work.

"That's it! You guys, all of us are gonna find the jerk who did this and we're gonna find that head!" he declared. "You all in?"

"Dipper, you don't even have to ask ." Lincoln said, speaking for everyone. "We're with you all the way. Right girls?"

"Yeah!"

"Nice, we'll show those two who's adorable." Dipper said with determination, then his nose began to run a little and gave a very high pitched sneeze.

"Aww Dippy, you sneeze like a kitten." Leni cooed as she softly pinches his cheek.

Her brother gave her an annoyed frown, while few of the sisters also gushed.

* * *

The next morning, the Louds began their investigation surrounding the death of Wax Stan, Dipper had Lola and Lana put up some police tape made from some toilet paper, the little blondes were wearing their cop sunglasses considering the circumstances, Lori took some photos with her phone, while Mabek did with a regular camera.

"Nics job securing the crime scene you two." Dipper complimented.

"Anytime chief." Lana replied.

"Okay guys, let's get down to bus-" he noticed that one of them was missing. "Wait, where's Lucy?"

"Here."

"Ah!" the kids jumped back as Lucy appeared out of nowhere once again. "Sorry for being late, I had to help Grunkle Stan organize Wax Stan's funeral service for later."

"Okay then. Anyway, Wax Stan had been brutally murdered, his head was taken and it's up to the thirteen of us to find it." Dipper summed up. "Lisa, if you'd please."

"I still fail to see why this needs investigating." Lisa blandly stated. "It's not even a real murder."

Lynn nudged her. "That doesn't matter genius. Think about them." she pointed to Leni, Lola, and Mabel and was reminded how personal this was to them.

The intellectual sighed. "Very well then." the young prodigy adjusted her glasses and moved to a board filled with pictures of various of people. "Through careful analysis and inferring the motive, the most likely suspect of this gruesome, heinous act is one of the attendants of yesterday's re-opening of the wax museum."

"That makes sense." Lincoln nodded. "A lot of people weren't really that happy when they didn't get the free pizza they wanted." he recalled how they all went crazy with anger.

"Love for pizza can make you do crazy things." Luna said sagely. "Question is, who was angry enough to do something like this?"

"It could be anyone, even us!" Mabel exclaimed.

"In this town, anything is possible." Dipper replied, taking out the Journal to see if it had any contents that could help. "Ghosts, zombies, could be weeks or maybe even months until we find our first clue."

As he talked, Luna saw something that peeked her interest. "Hey mates, check it out." she pointed to the floor which showed that there were footprints in front of Wax Stan.

"Foot prints in the shag carpet." Lincoln observed.

"Leni, you're up." Dipper tod her, knowing this was right up her alley.

His sister inspected the prints very closely. "Hmm. Size 9 male dress shoe, perfect for romantic dates and fancy dinner parties. And look, they have a hole in them."

"And they lead right behind the couch." Lana pointed, they followed the prints and saw a sharp axe hidden behind.

"Buh buh buh!" Lily babbled dramatically.

The sibling sleuths looked at each other in surprise, they found the murder weapon!

Now they needed an expert to analyze it, and they knew just the person to ask, the wisest man they've ever met, Soos. The handyman was working in the gift shop, and walked over to him.

"Oh hey dudes, what's up?" he greeted with a smile.

"Hi Soos, I take it you heard about what happened to Wax Stan?" Lincoln inquired.

"Yeah, I sure did." Soos nodded somberly. "Mr. Pines is sure torn up about it, haven't seen him this upset since he saw a hundred dollar bill go up in smoke."

"Well my friend, we've decided to find the sicko who did it." Dipper gestures to himself and his siblings. "We were investigating the scene of the crime when we found this." he handed Soos the axe they found. "Figured you might tell us something about."

"Hm." Soos carefully inspected the tool. "Well dude, in my opinion, it's an axe, typically used to cut down trees."

"I knew it!" Leni exclaimed.

Mabel realized something. "Wait a minute, guys the lumberjack!"

"Of course!" Lori snapped her fingers. "He was at the wax museum yesterday."

"Now that I think about it, he's also Wendy's dad." Luna added.

"He was pretty furious." Lucy pointed out.

"Furious enough for murder!"

"Oh, you must be talking about Manly Dan." Soos said. "Yeah, he usually hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint biker joint downtown."

"In that case, _that's_ where we're going." Lincoln declared.

"Dude this is awesome, your a bunch of siblings who solve mysteries. You're like the Mystery Sibs." Soos suggested.

"Don't call us that." Dipper told him.

"I don't know, it has a nice ring to it." Lincoln countered.

"Let's just go already."

The kids went outside to head to the biker hangout Sood told them about to find suspect number one; Manly Dan Courdoroy. They passed by Stan who was having difficulty getting a coffin out of the trunk of his car.

"Hey, give me a hand with will this coffin will ya?" Stan asleep ked. "I'm doing a memorial service for Wax Stan. Something small, but classy." one last tug, got the coffin out. "By the way Lucy, thanks for putting it together, also for the mahogany suggestion, it'll hold nice."

"Happy to help with the departing of a helpless individual." Lucy replied.

"Sorry Grunkle Stan, but we got a big break in the case!" Dipper said with a serious look.

"Break in the case!" Mabel repeated.

"We're heading into town to interrogate the murderer." Lincoln explained.

"We have an axe!" Mabel took it out of Dipper's backpack and made horror movie screeching sounds.

Stan thought about how dangerous this could be for them. "Hmm. You know, this seems like the exact kind of thing responsible parents would never want you to do ever." he said sternly before smiling. "Good thing I'm an uncle. Avenge me kids. AVENGE MEEE!" he shouted to the heavens.

* * *

The Skull Fracture, just as Soos said, it was an extremely tough biker joint where the most unruly, violent men in Gravity Falls would go to either fight or cause some other disturbance. Most of the kids sneakily hid behind a dumpster, while Mabel and Lana emerged from it.

"This is the place alright." Dipper said, taking out an address card Soos gave him, he and his siblings looked and saw a huge, muscular bouncer with various tattoos, he briefly looked their way, making them go back to hiding. "Got the fake IDs?" he asked his twin.

Mabel took out thirteen handmade IDs and gave them to the others.

"I don't know about this." Lincoln said reluctantly. "Will these actually fool the bouncer?" his worries were justified as the IDs his sister made were drawn as if it was made in a children's coloring book.

"They'll have to if we want to get to the bottom of this mystery." Dipper responded, reminding his brother what they are there for.

Lincoln nodded and they moved out of their hiding spot to move forward with their mission.

The bouncer, who's name is Tats, was looking closely at an ID. "Sorry, we don't let in miners."

Just so everyone's aware, that wasn't a typo, he really was talking to a miner.

"Aw dagnabit!" he spat on the ground and walked off with a huff, passing by the Louds.

"Why would a miner go into a biker joint?" Lincoln asked, confused, Lynn shrugged in response.

"Hello there sir." Mabel greeted Tats. "We're here to interrogate Manly Dan for the murder of Wax Stan." They showed him their fake IDs which had fans ages for each of them, she then jiggles hers. "Dedlededle-e."

Tats shrugged. "Works for me." he allowed them to enter the joint.

Once they were inside, they were welcomed with the sigh of tough looking men fighting with each other, playing pool, and listening to loud music, the kids were slightly intimidated by all this, but tried to stay focused. They looked around to find at any sign of the lumberjack they were seeking for, Lincoln and Mabel walked over a body that was on the ground.

"Woah!" Lincoln yelped in horror.

"Don't worry Linc, he's just resting." Mabel assured her little brother.

"Is he Lori?" Lincoln asked the oldest.

She panicked and pushed him ahead as fast as possible. "Uh yeah, sure Lincoln, just get far away from him, he probably needs space."

"Okay, let's try and blend in, okay?" Dipper advised.

They nodded. "You got it Dippingsauce." Mabel said.

"Alright let's split up, Lincoln, Lori, Lola, Luna, Leni, you're with me." Dipper said, he and his team went to look for Dan.

"Okay ladies, let's look around." Mabel told her sisters. "Lucy, Lily, Lisa you're with me."

Luan caught sight of a group of thugs. "I'll go over there."

"Come on Lana. Let's look around." the tomboys went away.

Manly Adam was playing one of the games which had him arm wrestle with a mechanical man. "AAAAAGH!" he grunted.

Dipper and his group of siblings approached him. "Manly Dan, just the Lumberjack we wanted to see."

"What do you kids want?" he asked, a little annoyed.

Lincoln took over. "We wanna ask you some ques-"

"We know you did it you piece of scum!" Lola exclaimed cutting off her brother, she jumped and got in Dan's face. "Just admit that it was you! All you! We found your axe, no use in denying it!" she shook his neck forcefully, her older sisters had to pull her back. "You're gonna pay for ruining my exquisite work of art!"

"Cool it Lola!" Luna shouted.

"Litterally not helping!" Lori told her, struggling to stop her.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Lincoln frantically asked her.

Lola gave him a questionable look. "What? I was just playing bad cop, in these kind of situations, there's always a bad cop." she defended.

"Just let us do the talking!" Dipper told his younger sister, before addressing the lumberjack. "Sorry for my little sister's behavior, she didn't have her nap yet."

"Hey!"

"Anyway, we were wondering if you could answer some questions."

Manly Dan narrowed his eyes at them. "What kind of questions?!"

Lincoln took over. "Well for starters, where were you last night? Were you I don't know in a tourist attraction in the woods by any chance?"

"Actually, I was punchin' the clock!" Dan corrected.

"Why would you punch a clock?" Leni asked with a frown.

Lori sighed. "No Leni, he means he was at work." she clarified.

"No your sister's right, I really was punching that clock!" Dan pointed to a broken clock outside.

"10 o'clock." Dipper noted with a frown. "The time of the murder. So I guess you e never seen _this_ before." he took out the axe they found.

"Listen little girls and one boy with white hair!"

Realizing that he was grouped with his sisters, Dipper tried to contradict him. "Hey, A-Actually I'm-"

"I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax! It's left-handed!" Dan explained. "I only use my right hand! The manly hand!" he tore off the machine's arm and beats said machine with it.

Tyler provided with his usual chant. "Get 'im! Get 'im!"

"So, our perp mostly uses the left appendage." Lisa surmised.

Leni noticed something. "Hey, has anyone seen the others?"

"So then I said if I were you, I'd go for the baboon!" Luan finished her joke, enticing a roar of laughter from a group of bikers.

Lynn and Lana were just chilling with two patrons.

"Mabel was entertaining a thug with a cootie catcher while holding Lily, she, him, and Lucy were counting. "3, 4, 5, 6." Mabel gasped. "Your wife will be beautiful."

"Yes!" he cheered.

Lucy peered into a crystal ball. "Ooh, and from I can sense you're gonna have successful children."

"Guys, big break in the case!" Dipper told them, getting them to follow him out of the joint.

"But will she love me?!" the thug asked desperately.

* * *

After regrouping, Lincoln filled them on with what they learned from Manly Dan. "Okay, so now we know that the ax is left-handed, which means thatched culprit is a lefty, which rules out Manly Dan, since he's right-handed." he emphasized this by crossing off Dan's name on a list of potential suspects.

"So, all we have to do is find someone who's left handed who was also at the opening and we got our killer." Leni chimed. Everyone stared at her in shock. "What?"

"Leni, that was... correct." Lori said in amazement.

"Really? Huh, guess this case is making me think more."

"Well, yeah what she said is r-right." Dipper said, having a hard time to say the last word.

"Oh man, we are on fire!" Luna boasted.

"Now let's get that murderer!" Dipper said, prompting a joint fist bump with all the siblings.

* * *

Moving on, the next suspect on their list was Old Man McGucket, remembering their last encounter with him, and his lack of any sense of sanity, it was easy to assume him as the culprit, an assumption that was proven wrong when he waved hello to them with his right hand... that was inside a baby alligator. Next up was the big guy who loved pizza, out of all the guests he was the one who was the most dismayed over not getting his favorite snack; Luan dressed as a delivery man complete with a fake moustache rang the doorbell, and once he opened the door she handed him a clipboard to sign, however she saw him write with his right hand, this she leaves without giving him the pizza leaving him dismayed. The next person was an adult woman with a mean streak, Lynn whistled getting her attention the jock threw a baseball at her, she caught it with ease and squeezed it broken. They moved on to some random guy but both of his arms were in casts making them uncertain.

For a few more hours, the Louds went door to door, checking out any person for signs of being a lefty, but as they searched each result came up negative, until Dipper found one last name and got a euroka moment.

"Okay, we checked nearly everyone was at the shack yesterday, but we haven't found anybody who was left-handed." Lincoln lamented.

"Don't count us out yet Lincoln." Dipper said showing him and the sisters the notes. "Look, there's only one person left we haven't checked on this list." he showed them what he meant.

Lisa gasped in realization. "Of course, why couldn't I have seen it before?" she questioned, mentally slapping herself.

"It's so obvious." Mabel said.

The others shared this sentiment and knew what was left to do.

* * *

When night time came, they immediately contacted the same police officers they called at the night of the murder, though they were still skeptical of the kids, but they sure seemed confident that they knew who the perpetrator was, so they guessed it was worth looking into, they got the kids in the squad car and drove to the Gravity Falls Gossiper, they cautiously approached the entrance waiting to go in. "You kids better be right about this, or you'll never hear the end of it." Blubbs warned.

"The evidence is irrefutable." Dipper replied with confidence.

"It is like _so_ irrefutable." Leni agreed. "Wait, what does that mean?"

"I get to use my nightstick." Durland giggled with excited glee.

"You ready? You ready little fella?" the two officers were anxious to get this police raid started.

"WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!"

"On three." Lincoln told them. "1...2...3!"

The cops kicked open the door with extreme force, surprising it's only occupant, Toby Determined. "Nobody move! This is the raid!"

The mock reporter fell off his chair. "Aaaahh! What is this? Some kind of raid?"

"Um yeah, the cop just said that." Lori pointed out.

"Derp!" Durland hits the lamp just for the thrill of it.

The siblings approached their suspect. "Toby Determined, you are under arrest for the murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan!" Dipper announced.

"You have the right to remain impressed." Mabel said.

"With our awesome detective work." Luna added, they all exchanged high fives with each other

Toby got up with a terrified and confused expression on his face. "Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand!" he exclaimed.

"Then allow us to educate you Mr. Determined." Lisa began to explain. "When you decided to attend the re-opening of the wax museum, you had a lot of hope that it would be the story that not only would save your failing newspaper, but when the show ended in less than favorable results, you were outraged, you blamed Stan for not giving you the story you needed, so you took matters into your own hands."

"I guess you could say, you decided to make your own headline. Haha, get it?' Luan quipped.

Ignoring another of her sister's corny jokes., Lori took over. "But you were literally sloppy, and all the clues lead to someone a reporter with shabby shoes and was caught left handed."

"Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news." Lincoln declared, prompting Luan to nod in approval.

"Nice."

Toby looked concerned, as if he was dismayed that he was caught, until his expression turned into one of amused. "Boy, all of your knees must be sore, from jumping to conclusions." he did a little dance to prove his point. 'Hachachachacha! I had nothing to do with the murder." he countered.

"Aha!" Leni proclaimed. "You admit it!"

"No, he said he said nothing? Did you say nothing?" Dipper asked, not expecting him to deny their accusation.

"Could you repeat that?" Mabel asked as well.

"So, if you had no part in the crime, then where were you at the night of the break-in?" Blubbs questioned.

Toby looked aside with an embarrassed look. "Ehhhh..." though a little hesitant at first, if it was to prove to them he wasn't responsible he might as well show them, no matter how much he'll regret this later on. "Come over here." he gestured them to follow him to a TV, then he took out a VHS tape and put it inside the player, showing them exactly where he was during the time of the murder and to prove to them that he wasn't the one at fault, all while humiliating him in the process. Soon, the image of him was seen and he appeared to be waling to a confined closet. "Just promise me, you won't say a word about this to anyone." he begged. "I don't know what'd I'd do of people judged me for who I was."

The kids and the police saw him pull something out of the closet, which was a cardboard cutout of a familiar newswoman anchor. _"Finally. a moment alone with you, cardboard cutout of TV news reporter of Shandra Jimenez, if only you were the real thing._ _"_ he proceeded o passionately kiss the replica, caressing it's fake body, much to the mutual disgust between everyone who was watching.

"Aw, sick!" Lynn blanched.

"I cannot ever unsee that." Lincoln winced.

"Now I'm even more tortured than I was before." Lucy lamented.

"Avert your eyes children." Luna put her hands in front of Lana and Lola's eyes.

"Timestamp confirms it." Blubbs said. "Toby Determined, your off the hook. You freak of nature."

Said man threw up his arms in celebration. "Hooray!"

Dipper didn't want to believe it, all the clues, all the evidence he and his brother and sisters have gathered all linked to Toby being the culprit, there was now way he could have been wrong about everything, he's supposed have an accurate assumption in nearly everything, there was no way he jumped the gun on this could there? "What? No, no, that can't be right." he protested, trying to find something to defend his stance.. "It has to be him! Check the axe for his fingerprints!" he insisted.

Durland holds up a neon light for Blubbs so that the latter could dust for fingerprints. "No prints at all."

"No prints?" Dipper questioned with a confused crown.

"Impossible!" Lisa shook her head in disbelief. "How else could Wax Stan's murder be possible?"

"Hey, I've got a headline for ya." Durland started. "Bunch of city kids wastes everyone's time!" the adults shared a humorous laugh at this, causing embarrassed looks and angry glares from the kids. Lynn kicked Durland in the shin again. "Ow!"

"Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I were all of you." Toby admitted, ignorant of the footage of him making out with the cutout was still playing.

Lori glared at him. "You know I could record this and show it to the news lady, right?"

"Shutting up now."

* * *

The whole investigation was a complete bust, the kids returned to the shack since it was about time for the funeral service of Wax Stanford Pines, their real life uncle asked them if they found anything that would have brought his double's killer to justice, but was mildly disappointed when they told them that they didn't find anything, he told them that it was okay, they gave it their best shot, but it did little to stop them from feeling bad about letting him down, when they promised that they would find the culprit. The service was like any other usual one, except for the fact that it was for an inanimate object, still the atmosphere was depressing nonetheless, the kids minus Lucy were seated along with Stan, the rest of the wax figures and Soos, who was suppressing sobs and sniffles with a tissue. As for the goth girl, she was at the stage addressing everyone.

"Family, friends, other wax individuals." she began. "We are gathered here today in the Mystery Shack to grieve for the departure of Wax Stan, a being who was not long for this world, and didn't deserve the cruel death he suffered." she gestured to her uncle. "Now, a few words from his real person counterpart, Grunkle Stan."

The conman got up from his seat and melancholy approached the stage, Lcy moved out of the way to let him take over. "Thank you Lucy." he hugged his niece who returned it, grateful that she put this whole thing together, then she joined her siblings. "Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming. Now, some people might say it's wrong and unnatural for a man to love a wax replica of himself."

Soos shot up and declared. "They're wrong!" he exclaimed.

"Easy Soos." his boss told him, and turned to the open casket that held his double's remains. "Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets up there in wax heaven." his lips quivered as he wiped his eyes a little. "I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eyes!" Not wanting to feel more grief, he ran out of the room, not wanting the kids to see him cry all the way.

Soos followed after his boss, to comfort him. "Oh, dude!"

The kids looked on in sympathy, heartbroken by the pain their uncle was going through. "Poor Grunkle Stan." Leni lamented.

Dipper sighed, dejectedly. "Those cops were right about me." he spoke up, catching his siblings off guard. "I was kidding myself, there was no way for me to solve this mystery." the others didn't like to see him beat himself up like this.

"Come on bro, don't be like that." Luna put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, unlike them, you actually did something." Luan reminded him.

"Even the brightest minds make mistakes elder brother." Lisa told him. "Even me, as much I don't want to admit."

"Besides, you did your best Dipper." Lana said.

"But it wasn't enough." Dipper insisted, standing up moving to the coffin. "I mean, I considered everything; the motive, the weapon, all the clues we found." he stared at Wax Stan with a look of complete remorse, but then he noticed something. "Hey guys, Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it." he called them to see for themselves.

"Well yeah, all the wax guys have one." Mabel pointed out. "It's where those pole thingys attaches to their stand dealy."

Lily gasped. "Gah! Gah! Gah! Gah!"

"What's wrong Lily?" Lincoln asked, his baby sister pointed to the hole, that's when he remembered. "Wait, guys, those footprints we found at the crime scene had a hole just like that."

That got Dipper thinking, back at the Gossiper the axe was revealed to have no fingerprints, and as he thought more, the pieces started to come together like a puzzle, as crazy as it might be, there can only one conclusion. "Guys, what has a hole in its shoe, and no fingerprints? Don't you see? The murderer is..."

"Standing right behind you." a british voice interrupted.

Everyone became as stiff as statues as they slowly turned around and were welcomed to the shocking sight of Wax Sherlock Holmes standing upright, moving freely as if he were actually a human being, soon his fellow wax brethren followed his example, they moved from their poses to actually moving with actual free will, takin them all by surprise and fear, Dipper looked at each of them in shock. "Wax Sherlock Holmes, Wax Shakespeare, Wax Elvis, Wax Coolio?!"

"'Sup Holmes?" Coolio greeted Sherlock.

Wax Lizzie Borden took the axe from Mabel as she and her compatriots glared evilly at the siblings.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Mabel gasped in fear, hiding behind Dipper.

"The wax guys are alive?!" Lana shrieked.

"What is with this town?!" Lori cried out.

"Congratulations, my group of amateur sleuths." Wax Sherlock sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm "You've unburied the truth. So now we're going to bury you!" he declared making them gasp. "Though I must admit, I am impressed Dipper Pines, you and you're siblings are the few people who know of our little secret." Holmes took out Wax Stan's severed head, proving that he truly was the killer. "Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically." his allies did so, only it wasn't the kind that he was expecting. "No. No, stop, that is way too sincere. Try the slow clap." they did as he instructed. "There we go, nice and condescending." he nodded in approval.

"But, how is this possible?" Dipper inquired with a nervous frown. "You're made of wax!"

"Are you...magic?" Leni asked with child like wonder.

Wax Sherlock simply laughed in pure amusement. "Magic?" he turned to the others. "Everyone, they wish to know if we're magic!" he slammed his hand hard on the coffin with a furious glare, making them jump. "We're cursed! he growled.

"Cursed! Cursed!" the other wax figures chanted.

"Cursed to come to life, whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle, Stan Pines, bought us all many years ago at a garage sale." Holmes recalled.

"A haunted garage sale, son!" Wax Coolio clarifies.

* * *

 _Many years earlier..._

 _At a broken down home, Stan is negotiating with the owner of a garage sale, he had come from Gravity Falls to look for any possible attractions he would use fir the Mystery Shack, the seller showed him his collection of wax figures. "I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price!" he ominously informed the conman._

 _Stan looked at Sherlock's price tag. "20 dollars?!" he asked in outrage. "I'll just take 'em when your not looking." he told the seller casually._

 _"What?"_

 _"I said I was gonna rob ya."_

 _Cut to in the shack, where the people of the town all came to look at the new wax museum, many were taking photos with the figures while children would just mess with them._

 _"And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Museum Collection was born, by day, we kept up the charade of being nothing more but the playthings of humanity, allowing them to use us as they pleased."_

 _"But when the sun came down and your uncle went to sleep, we would rule the night." Coolio continued._

 _Once the shack closed down for the night, the wax figures would go all around the house, casually hanging out and engage in activities that normal people would often do, free to being themselves and no fear of being discovered, in the kitchen Larry King was playing with Coolio's hair." "Hey man, I told you to stop that."_

 _"Make me." Larry dared._

 _Holmes and Edgar Allen Poe were in Stan's bedroom, the detective was putting his finger inside the sleeping conman's nose, while Poe took a picture as they laughed mischievously, however the camera flash woke him up for a brief time, they instantly took their usual poses, shrugging, he went back to sleep, allowing the two to resume with their horseplay._

 _"It was a charmed life for us cursed wax people." Holmes continued. "The night was the only time for us to truly be more than just statues with no movement, for a long while, we were happy. Alas, like all good things in the world, it came to an end."_

 _Next, we see Stan holding an empty box, disappointed that the wax museum wasn't making as much money as it used to, no longer finding any need for them, he puts them all in a storage room, never to be seen again._

 _"And so came the day where your uncle closed up shop and had the audacity to put us all in storage."_ _As the years went by, we see the shack change in that timespan, the room where all the wax guys were stored in was soon covered up, and would never be discovered, until Soos found the doorknob to the room and used it open it, and well, you know the rest. "Finally we were free, free to do whatever pleased us once more, and the first thing we wanted to do, was enact our shared vengeance. As we were in that dark room for 10 years, our anger for your uncle grew, to the point where we decided he should pay for his crimes." At night, we see Sherlock approach menacingly with an axe to what he initially perceived as Stan, he raised it and brought it down, slicing the head off, but to his disappointment, it wasn't the Stan he was targeting._

 _"But we got the wrong guy."_

 _Realizing his error, Holmes left the seen before the real Stan could arrive._

* * *

The tale told by the wax replica of the world's greatest detective both astounded and terrified the kids, for they had just realized the wax people's true motive. "So, you were gonna kill our uncle for realsies?!" Leni shrieked in terror.

"Dude that is just sick!" Luna yelled.

"This actually was a real murder case!" Lincoln clinged to Luna in fright, who hugged him back.

Mabel turned to her brother. 'You were right all along, Dipper! Wax People _are_ creepy!"

"Perhaps, but I believe we should be more concerned that they also happen to be homicidal!" Lisa reminded them.

Holmes snickered evilly. "How right you are, dear girl. For now that you all know our secret, you must...die." he revealed as his along with his friends' eyeballs rolled back to make them appear more ominous and threatening, which worked well, for as they approached the band of siblings, who promptly backed up in fear, knowing full well that they were gonna make good on that claim, the older siblings held the younger ones, trying to at least make sure none of them would get hurt. The wax people may not have been able to murder Stan, but what better way to make the old man suffer than by killing his family?

The kids backed up against a table, as they tried to find any solution to their predicament. "What do we do?! What do we do?!" Mabel shouted in fright.

"Just throw stuff at 'em!" Lynn yelled. Everyone complied, seeing that at the time, there was no other way to combat the horde of homicidal figures. However, this proved futile, for it looked like whatever wax was used to make them, it was strong enough to withstand a full frontal assault. The Wax people paid no mind to the various silverware that collided with their bodies, they only had one thing in mind; completely annihilate the family of the man who locked them away in the darkness for so long. Soon, the kids were left with nothing left to throw a their enemies, save for a pot of hot, freshly made coffee, of which Lincoln grabbed and threw it at Wax Ghengis Khan. The contact with the extreme temperature of the liquid burned his face and made it look loke he was melting, the wax figure of the famous Mongul warrior screamed as he felt the pain.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Lincoln gasped in remembrance. Back when they first found the room where all the wax guys were kept in, the wax version of Abraham Lincoln had already melted due to exposure to sunlight, which involved heat. "That's it! guys, we can be these with anything that feels very hot, it will completely melt them all to the ground!"

"We can use the electric candles." Lucy told them, gesturing to the table, with one for each of them. Taking them, they readied themselves against all the wax people, who promptly backed away, not wanting to come in contact woth the heat producing devices.

"Anyone move, and we'll melt you into candles!" Lana threatened with an eager grin.

"Decorative candles!" Lola supplied, with an intense look.

Despite the odds turning over to the Louds, Wax Holmes's resolve was still undeterred "You _really_ think you children can defeat us?" he dared.

The kids took a moment to consider this question, even if it was rhetorical.

"I-I don't really know." Dipper admitted. "I'm honestly not really sure."

"I mean, it's a nice thought." Lincoln shrugged. "If I'm speaking for real here, I'd rather not get maimed by wax people, you know? To be honest, who would?"

"Amen to that, bro." Luna nodded.

"Statistically, it would really be either good or bad for each of us." Lisa analyzed. "If anything, there should at least be numerous casualties. Preferably, that number would be all of you."

Wax Holmes growled. If these children would want to throw away their lives so recklessly, then who said that they should stop them? "So be it! Attack!" he declared to his compatriots.

And so, the battle between the wax replicas of historical people and the children of the Loud clan begun. Each Loud kid split up into teams to take on their own individual enemy. Lincoln, Lynn, and Lana faced off against Wax Lizzie Borden who swungher axe wildly at them, but they were able to dodge each strike, Lincoln used his candle to stab at one of her legs making it melt. The wax version of the serial killer screamed as she lost her balance and fell down, but kept swinging her axe around, she was able to land a hit on Lincoln and slightly cut his leg."

"AH!"

Seeing this, Leni came to him. "Linky!" she helped him up and inspected the wound. "Did she hurt you?!"

"I-I'm okay." Lincoln reassured his sister with a wince. "Just a little cut."

The ditzy Loud sister turned to Wax Lizzie Borden in one of the rare cases that she was absolutely furious, she charged with her electric candle to stab at her eye that made the fake famous serial killer cry out in pain. "Don't. Hurt. My. Baby. BROTHER!" she sliced apart every wax limb on Wax Lizzie and watched as she melted away.

"Wow Leni, that was cool." Lana complimented.

"Make way kid!" the young tomboy looked and saw Wax Richard Nixon charging at her and at Lucy, the tomboyish six-year-old used her candle to cut off one of the legs with her gothic sister slicing the other and the former president tripped and fell into the fireplace, he screamed as he was melted away which didn't freak Lucy out at all, in fact she was sort of transfixed by it.

"Cool..." she breathed.

Mabel was then cornered by Wax William Shakespeare but she was bale to slice both of his arms off, however the severed appendages were still in motion as one wrapped around the sweater lover's neck in a chokehold. He rock star sister came to her aid. "I got your back sis!" she opened the door and slammed it repeatedly on the arm.

Dipper, Lucy, Lola, Luan, and Lori were fighting off their own Wax opponents. Wax Larry King came at Luan, but she sliced his entire head clean off from his bed. "Ha! Interview that, Larry King!" she quipped, but wasn't aware of Wax Groucho Marx leering over her, luckily Dipper came to in, slicing the once famous comedian across the waist.

"Jokes on you Groucho!" Dipper smirked.

Luan patted his head. "Nice one, Dipping sauce." she complimented on the attack and on the quip.

"I've heard about a cutting remark, but this is ridiculous." Wax Groucho gave one last pun as he fell but noticed that he wasn't holding a cigar. "Hey, why is there nothing on my hand?"

"Hahahaha!" Luan held her sides as she laughed. "I'm sorry, but he is just so funny even in wax form!"

Dipper then noticed that Wax Genghis Khan was advancing to both of them, making him push himself and Luan out of the way, leaving the war lord to fall into the fireplace. "Ha, Genghis Khan, you fell harder than the uh...Qin Dynasty?" he shrugged. Luan winced and shook her head. "Yeah, alright."

Lori and Lisa fended off Wax Coolio, the oldest of the siblings was able to slice off the head. "Lynn, catch!" she threw it over to the sports fanatic who began to spin it around, much to his discomfort.

"Come on you wax freaks, get some of this!" she yelled, daring any of them to face her wrath. With every spin, the head of Wax Coolio struck each of his fellow wax beings. Lynn then noticed Sherlock Holmes grab a mounted sword and was approaching Dipper. "Bro, heads up!" she shouted to him in alarm.

Dipper turned around and gasped in fright at the sight of the detective, he swung his sword at the boy and disarmed him of the candle which broke as it gell on the floor leaving the Loud boy defenseless. Sherlock swung the sword, ready to strike his enemy down, but Lincoln picked up to pokers and threw one at his brother. "Catch!" Dipper did so and blocked the strike, Lincoln stabbed at Sherlock's back making him scream and attack the white haired child, making it a duel between the Loud brothers and the wax monster. Their fight led them out of the room and upstairs to the attic, Sherlock was determined to rid himself of the two boys who have been a pestilence to him and his plans, but the brothers were more tenacious than he thought until he was able to back them into a wall.

"Once you two, your sisters, and your uncle are out of the way, we will be free to rule the night once more." Sherlock declared as he prepared to strike them down from where they stood.

Both brothers prepared themselves for what seemed like their inevitable demise, but then Dipper noticed the window to outside, he nudged Lincoln and pointed to where he was looking at. Exchanging a nod, they both ducked as the sword struck the wall instead. "Don't count on it!" Lincoln said as they went out the window with Sherlock following them.

"Get back here, you little brats!" he shouted after them as he saw the brothers go up to the sign of the Mystery Shack. He restarted their duel as one of his attacks caused the S in the name to fall off. Lincoln and Dipper couldn't find any other way to escape from him, for they backed up to the edge of the building, with Sherlock ready to finish them off. "You really think you children could actually defeat me?! I'm Sherlock _bleeding_ Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying Glass! It's enormous!" he was so engrossed with himself that this gave them time to climb all the way to the top sign and land on the other side of the shack, they slipped but landed safely on the edge. Taking deep breaths, they looked to see if he was there, but so far it looked like they were safe, the Loud boys breathed sighs of relief, until Sherlock appeared right next to them and kicked them to the side. He looked down on them with his soulless eyes and raised his sword up high. "Any last words?"

"Um..." Dipper looked to the side and smiled. "Got any sunscreen?"

"Got any..." Sherlock was at first confused at these words until he felt something drip on him. " _What?_ " he watched in horror as he saw his hands begin to melt along with his entire being. But this shouldn't be happening unless...a dreaded thought came to mind as he turned and saw the sun rise up. "No..."

Lincoln and his brother gave him triumphant smirks. "You know for the world's greatest detective, letting us lead you outside was probably not your sharpest decision."

"Outsmarted by a child in short pants and his brother with white hair?!" Sherlock lamented in disbelief. "Nooooooo! Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Tiiter, total kerfuffle. Butter Hallabaloo." soon, all but his face was a melting mess as he slipped to the edge.

"Case closed." Dipper wiped his hands, causing dust to get in his nose. "Ah-Choo!"

"Ha ha ha!" Sherlock gave one last laugh. "You sneeze like a kitten, those policeman were right, you're adorable. Adorable...!" he shouted as he fell down and splashed into a puddle on the grass.

The Loud brothers watched this with disturbed expressions. "Ew." Lincoln winced.

"Dipper! Lincoln!" both turned and saw Lori appear. As soon as she saw the two boys, she enveloped both of them in a hug. "Oh thank goodness, are you okay?! Did that creep hurt you?!" she looked over them in a motherly manner.

Lincoln gave her a reassuring smile. "Were fine Lori."

"Come on." she guided them to follow her. "Everyone's waiting back inside."

* * *

With all of the living wax figures either melted or dismembered, the rest of the sisters threw them into the fireplace. "Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise again!" Wax Shakespeare's head shouted to the girls, promising them that the threat of wax people shall always be there. Lucy picked him up with a curious look.

"Know any limericks?" the poet asked.

Shakespeare thought for a moment. "Uh. There once was this dude from Kentucky-"

This wasn't good enough for the 8 year old. "Nope." she threw the head into the fire.

"Alright, I think that's all of them." Lisa said.

Soon, their three siblings walked in perfectly fine, much tot heir relief. "Guys, you're okay!" Mabel cheered as the siblings gathered together. "You solved the mystery after all, bro-bro." she smiled at her twin.

Dipper used a chair to get Wax Stan's head off the mounted animal. "I couldn't have done it without my team or my sidekick." he winked at his twin.

"No offence Dipper, but you're the sidekick." Mabel contradicted.

"What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have any of you heard that?" he asked his siblings who shrugged.

Hearing a lot of commotion, their caretaker walked in to see what was going on in his house and saw what was left of the Wax Museum. "Hot Belgium Waffles!" he exclaimed as he saw the kids have nervous smiles on their faces. "What happened to my parlor?!"

"Grunkle Stan, ha ha." Lori sweated nervously. "Uh, what happened was-"

Whatever clever excuse she could have given to her uncle was cut of as Lana and Lola spoke up. "All your wax guys turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!"

"I decapitated Larry King." Luan informed him.

Stan stared at his nephews and nieces with a perplexed look before giving a good natured laugh. "Ha ha! You kids and your wild imaginations!" he waved it all off as children playing some games.

"On the bright side, look what we found." Dipper tossed him Wax Stan's head with a smile.

The old conman was ecstatic to find the missing part of his counterpart. "My head!" he cheered. "Ha ha! I sure missed this guy, you done good kids! Everyone line up for some affectionate noogie-ing."

"Oh, I'm not so sure about that. Is there an alternative...?" Dipper tried to dissuade him.

"Not the hair!" Lola protested.

The only ones who didn't mind were Lana and Lily as their uncle ruffled their hairs with his fist making them all chuckle and enjoy this family moment, then the sound of sirens grabbed their attention. Pulling in front of the shack were the same cops who refused to take their case and belittle their detective skills. "You solved the case yet boy?' Blubbs asked with a teasing smirk, same with his partner. "I'm so confident that you're gonna say no, that I'll take a long slow sip from my cup of coffee." the sheriff began to do so.

Rather than feel embarrassed by them again, Dipper was happy to prove them wrong. "Actually, the answer is yes." he held up the head to show them that they did succeed. Lily gloated by blowing a raspberry at them.

Blubbs was so unprepared by this that he choked up a little and spat the hot coffee on his deputy's face. "AAAAAHHHHH!" Even more hilarious, Durland was also drinking some coffee and returned the spit take.

"AAAAAHHHH!"

It soon became a cycle of them repeatedly spitting the smoking liquid on each other. "It burns! It burns!" the sheriff screamed as he drove them away.

The family shared a collective laugh over the cops' misfortune, especially the kids since they find it only fair since they thought so lowly of them. "They got scalded!" Stan pointed as they faintly heard the sound of a car crash.

Lincoln turned to his sisters. "So did you guys get rid of of all the wax figures?" he asked, hopefully.

"Ain't no sweat bro, all them wax creeps are burning." Luna replied with a confident grin.

"I am 99.9% sure that we did." Lisa added.

"Good enough for me." Dipper shrugged, happy that this nightmare was over.

Little did they know, there was only one wax figure left standing. The disembodied head of Larry King. He had discreetly hid himself from the Louds as they took care of his fellow wax people and was hiding in the vents. The host watched the unsuspecting family with a sinister laugh. "Ha ha ha ha-Huh?" he stopped as soon as he noticed a rat was right next to him. "So you're a rat, tell me about that." but instead, the vermin took a bite out of his ear and scurried off. "Hey, get back here!" he began to hop after the ear thief. "I'm hopping! I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear!"

* * *

 **End Credits**

The next morning, Mabel was debating which sweater she should choose, the purple one with sequins or the one filled with hair from an actual Llama. It was a tough decision but it was lucky for her to have one of the more fashionable sisters nearby. "Hmm. Hey Lori, which do you think looks better? Sequins or Llama hair?"

She failed to notice Larry King's head hop to the vent next to her. "The Llama hair. Llamas are nature's greatest warriors." he told her, having heard her question.

"Thanks big sis!" Mabel smiled.

Lori, who was reading a magazine promptly stopped and looks around with a confused expression. "Um, you're welcome?"

* * *

 **Tell me what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4: Bite of the Hunter

**I'm super stoked for this chapter because it's the first original one. The idea came from PC The Unicorn, so thanks for that my friend, I really appreciate it. So yeah, in this chapter, I'll bring in two familiar faces from the Loud House which I have been waiting to do since the first chapter, now I really hope you guys like this, because I admit, I only know how to rewrite episodes while also incorporating the Louds in it so please tell me what you think of it afterwards. Also, if you guys want to give me ideas for more original chapters, feel free to PM me your thoughts, I'm open to any idea you guys got.**

 **Sorry to all who were anticipating The Hand That Rocks The Mabel, I'll get to that later.**

 **Don't forget to Fave, Follow, and leave your Reviews.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

When he and his siblings first arrived in Gravity Falls, Dipper didn't really know how to pass the time, everyone else found a way to spend their time in this town through their usual hobbies; Lori would do constant updates on her phone, Leni went off to the store to buy new summer clothes, Luna shredded her guitar like always, it was no question that Luan was practicing her corny jokes, his jock of a sister Lynn was practicing sports, the poetic Lucy would write in her book, Lana and Lola would either argue or either play with some outside animals(Lana) or do her makeup(Lola), Lisa was trying to find a logical explanation to all the oddities they encountered here, and Lily was, well being a baby. Even his only brother had something to do, which was video chat with that Santiago girl from back home and of course there was Mabel knitting more sweaters. Yep, he was the only Loud who had nothing to do in their temporary home, but that soon changed when he found it.

The Journal.

Everyday he opened the pages of the mysterious chronicle he and his brother found in the woods, the young boy would be engrossed in the supernatural details hidden inside, but with each page read, he constantly asks this question; _'Who is the author?'_ This journal had to have belonged and be written by someone, but the name was torn off and there was nothing else on his or her identity. It was a mystery, and if there was anything Dipper Pines Loud loved other than Disco Girl, it was a good mystery.

"Flying eyeballs. Cool."

"AHH! Dipper lightly screeched once Lucy showed herself. "Lucy, how many times do we have to tell you not to do that?" he gave her an annoyed glance. "Plus, I thought you were with the others."

Lucy shrugged. "I was getting tired of consorting with other humans, I see you've been consulting into the journal again. you've been doing that a lot lately." she observed.

"Well of course I have." Dipper told her, as if it were obvious. "With all the information inside this journal, who knows what sort of mysteries surround this town. If only there was more info on the author though. I can't find any initials, first or last names or anything that could point to who he or she is."

"Perhaps he tried consorting with the dead and his soul was dragged to the depths of the underworld where he would suffer for all eternity." Lucy suggested. "When man tries to tamper with forces beyond their control, it can only lead to disaster."

All Dipper could do was stare at her in dead silence. "I know mom and dad say you're going through a phase and all that, but honestly Luce, we sometimes worry about you."

"No need to concern yourself with me brother, I am perfectly at peace with the dark element of this hopeless mud ball we call a planet." she left the room without another word.

Dipper shook his head. "Knew Mabel shouldn't have given her vampire novels for her birthday." he too soon got out the shared Loud sibling bedroom and went downstairs but then bumped into Lori. "Sorry." he apologized, but surprisingly she didn't tell him for not watching where he was going, in fact she wasn't even using her phone which was a rare all on its own. Curious, he went to see what was going on with his elder sibling, he saw her look out the window in a very depressing manner which concerned them. One simple fact with the Loud siblings, if something was wrong with one of them then the rest couldn't help but be involved.

But he knew better to give Lori her space so he walked away to consult with others.

* * *

Outside, the other Loud siblings were just hanging out since Duck-tective wasn't on yet, their uncle then came to them hauling a large crate of stuff that was definitely not imported illegally. "Hey knuckleheads, any of you seen Soos or Wendy? I need their help to carry this heavy crate along with all the other crates in my trunk."

"You told Soos to fix that S on the sign, Stan." Lana reminded.

"He's still not done though." Lola added.

The aforementioned S dropped on the ground as always.

"My bad dudes!" the handyman yelled from the top. "That was definitely on me but don't worry Mr. Pines I'll fix the sign, might need to but some more glue though!"

"You also gave Wendy the day off." Lincoln told him.

This made the conman to raise a brow in confusion. "Day off? I never give my employees one of those. Heck, I don't even recognize it as an actual thing, like refunds, or the law." he added with his arms crossed.

Luna shrugged. "That's what she told us."

Stan promptly face-palmed with an aggravated sigh. "Of course she did." then he got an idea, he adopted a pleading tone and expression. "Say, why don't you all help your poor old withering great uncle lift some crates. See, I'm so old that these bones are too weak to even carry a single pebble. Having to do all this heavy lifting could cause me to have an accident." they gave him deadpan stares. "Not buying it?" their collective silence was good enough answer. "Dang it, I can't keep business flowing if I don't have enough employees, Soos is a hard worker but he almost messes up everything. No offense!" he yeled to the top.

"None taken Mr. Pines, you make a very valid point." Soos said from above. "Heck, I just lost balance and am dangling o the ledge right now, so you mind getting me a ladder or something, Mr. Pines?"

His plea fell onto deaf ears. "Hmm...you know before you kids got here, I did have some computer nerd send an ad out for new employees but no one's responded yet. I wonder if I should've crossed out the fact that you may or may not get incurable sicknesses if you apply for a job at the Mystery Shack." but the conman dismissed such concerns. "Bah, I'm sure they probably ignored it or something. If anyone needs me, I'll be committing tax fraud while trying to figure out this employee mess."

Dipper then came outside with Lucy in tow. "Hey, you guys. Have any of you noticed that Lori's been acting a little...I don't know strange lately? I haven't heard her say 'literally' lately, plus she's not even using her phone."

"I sense that there is a great emptiness dwelling inside our eldest sibling." Lucy said.

"Probably because she's so far away from Bobby." Luna deduced. "When he and his fam moved to the big city, it was bad enough for her that they didn't live in the same town but now they're more than just 3 hours apart and I guess she's major sad about it."

Lincoln nodded in understanding. "I can relate, she's not the only one missing someone." the white haired kid's thoughts were filled with images of a certain girl who had the reputation of being the toughest girl in school before she moved to the city with her brother and mother, if only there was a way to bring both here to Gravity Falls and then a light bulb went on in his head. "I got it! Guys, Grunkle Stan said that he put up an ad online in this town but I bet he never sent one to the city Bobby and Ronnie Anne live in, so why don't we do that? Maybe that will give Bobby an idea to apply for a job here. Ronnie Anne told me in one of our skype chats that he's been thinking on getting a summer job that wasn't in the bodega?"

"Say little bro, that's not a bad thought." Luna said with a smile.

Leni agreed with a nod. "Yeah, that would totes make Lori so much happier."

"Definitely make her stop acting like I sad sack, we already have enough dealing with Lucy?" Luan nudged her gothic sister. "Heyo!"

"I'm gonna let that slide." the poet said.

"And I bet you'd love it if Ronnie Anne came here with Bobby, eh Linc?" Lynn lightly teased with a nudge.

Dipper had a thoughtful look as he scratched his chin. "Hmm, I don't know. I'm not saying it isn't a great idea brother, but what about all the weird supernatural and life threatening elements this town has? So far, we've dealt with gnomes, a crazy prospector with a robot lake monster, and a horde of wax figures who tried to kill our uncle. I mean, can you honestly say something happen if they do come to Gravity Falls?"

"I have to agree with Dipper." Lisa chimed. "Given the fact for a reason I haven't quite gathered, we seem to have a knack for getting ourselves involved in whatever unexplained weirdness this settlement is capable of housing so the odds that the romantic interests of Lori and Lincoln having to try and survive such anomalies would perhaps present problems on the long run. For instance, they may find themselves so fearful of them that they may end the relationship so to speak."

"Then maybe we could make sure they don't see any giant puppy dogs or a flying dolphin with muscular arms or something." Mabel suggested.

"Have you been eating too much sugar again?" Lola asked with suspicious eyes.

"Maybe."

"I think it's a great idea, dudes." Soos said from up top. "Bobby always writes to me about how he misses Lori and I could tell him about the job opening in the Mystery Shack."

Lincoln smiled. "That's great Soos." he then took note of something. "Wait a minute, you know Bobby?"

"Oh yeah, he and Ronnie Anne are my relatives, their mother, Tia Maria is my mom's cousin, and they actually sometimes visit me for my birthdays here and as far as I can tell, they never once had to deal with zombies and all that." the handyman told them.

"That settles it!" Mabel declared with a wide smile. "We are definitely getting Bobby a job here. By the way Soos, you want us to get you a ladder?"

"Nah Hanmbone, this spot actually gives me a good view. Oh look, a woodpecker-OW! OW! It's poking my eye!"

* * *

Tomorrow morning, Lori looked out of the attic window with a somber expression on her face, she gazed at her phone as she considered using to call her precious Boo-Boo Bear but it was hard to find the perfect reception here so the conversations between the two sweethearts was very limited and it just broke her heart knowing she might have to spend an entire summer with no Bobby in it. "Hey Lori." her younger brother, Lincoln said walking inside to check up on his eldest sister.

"Hi Lincoln." she greeted back, not bothering to say much else.

"Everyone downstairs has something to show you, and you might just like it." he told her with a smile, hoping she would at least try and humor them a little but she just continued to look out the window. "Sorry Linc, but I'm literally not in the mood right now, I just want to stay up here, alone, with no one to have cute phone conversations with, or to go into the tunnel of love."

It hurt Lincoln to see Lori act this way, but he was adamant in cheering her up in one of the best ways possible, something that everyone worked together on to make into a reality. "Lori, I know why you're so sad lately. It's Bobby isn't it?" she didn't answer right way but it was good enough for him, he then put a comforting hand on her back. "You may not believe it, but I perfectly understand, I miss Ronnie Anne the same way you miss him and I know it gets sad and all, but would he like it if him being so far away from you would make you so depressed? I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but try to give us all a chance to make you feel better, we'll be down in the gift shop in case you want to come."

Once her brother left the room, Lori thought about what he told her, and he had a point, Bobby would not want to wallow in the sadness of them being separated, plus now that she thought about it, she's no doubt worrying her siblings due to her extensive depressed state and might as well try to ease their concerns so she got up and went down to the shop where everybody was waiting.

"Alright guys, what have you got for m-"

"Hey babe."

Time seemed to have frozen all of a sudden when she heard that familiar voice, she saw as a teenage boy her age was standing right there, and she recognized the clothing, it was him, he was there right in front of her standing next to a familiar 11 year old girl with a purple hoodie and all she could dowas scream out in joy. "Bobby Boo-Boo Bear!" she screeched as she rushed in for a hug, of which her boyfriend happily returned, equally joyful to see her again after so long.

"Missed you too, babe." Bobby smiled as he patted her back.

"Well, I gotta give to ya Lame-O, your plan worked." Ronnie Anne said, nudging her close friend.

"And Ronnie Anne too?" Lori questioned. "I don't get it, what are you doing all the way in Oregon?"

Bobby gestured to the rest of the Loud kids. "Thank your siblings, Lori. They sent an online ad for a job opening here and it took a little while to convince mom and grandpa but we managed to smooth things over, you're looking at the newest employee at the Mystery Shack." he pointed to himself with pride.

"You all brought him here?" Lori said to her brothers and sisters, completely touched by their selfless action.

"It was mostly Lincoln's idea, but yeah pretty much." Mabel confirmed.

Soon enough, they were all hugged happily by their oldest sibling for their great deed. "Oh, you guys are the best! And Grunkle Stan, you're okay with Bobby working here?"

Her conman of an uncle shrugged. "I needed some extra help around the joint, and just as long as the kid doesn't waste time making goo-goo eyes at you, then why not?" Stan was caught by surprise when his niece wrapped her arms around him.

"Thanks you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Stan was never one to be hugged, a punch in the face sure but this was a somewhat foreign feeling to him, but for some odd reason he couldn't but crack a little smile at this display of family affection. But he still had appearances to keep up. "Alright, that's enough of that, kiddo, I already have enough back pains as it is. And as for you Santiago, you should know that I expect you to show a lot of sweat and other bodily fluids when working here because this isn't some cashier job or any of the other jobs you had back in Michigan, so you better be up to it, city boy." he sternly told his new employee.

"Don't worry Mr. Pines, you can count on me." Bobby promised.

"But wait, where are you gonna stay?" Lori asked.

"We're staying with Soos and Great Aunt Esmerelda." Ronnie Anne answered. "They got a few extra rooms laying around so we can stay there until the summer's over."

"You know I could show you around town." Lincoln offered, shyly rubbing his nape. "Unless it's okay with you, Ronnie Anne, it's cool if you just want to hang here for a while."

Smirking, she interlocked her arms with Lincoln's own. "I got nothing planned for today, Lincoln, go ahead and play tour guide." the two kids went out of the tourist trap to get a layout of the town.

"Thanks again for letting me know about this job, guys." Bobby said gratefully to the Louds. "Summertime in the city was starting to get a little too hectic plus I was really getting tired of being stuck in the freezers. So, level with me, is your uncle a tough as he looks or something? My grandpa said something about running into a Stan Pines in Colombia a few years back that didn't exactly go well so I'm kind of nervous."

"Don't worry, the old man's not so bad when you get to know him, dude." Luna told her sister's BF. "Just don't do anything to tick him off and you're golden, he does pay little though so don't come crying to us if your paycheck ain't that swell."

"I don't think he even knows what a paycheck is." Luan cracked.

Then, the door was heard being opened, with the only other employee in the shack coming in. "Hey guys, what's up and who's that?" Wendy asked, motioning to the Santiago teen.

"Name's Bobby." he greeted.

"Oh, Lori's boyfriend. You here visiting for the summer?" the redhead daughter of a lumberjack asked.

"Actually from here until the summer's over, I'll be working at the shack. You must be Wendy." Bobby put his hand for her to shake.

She returned with a friendly smirk. "A new guy, eh? Well, welcome to the next few months of soul crushing agony while working here." she caught him having a fearful look making her punch his shoulder playfully. "Ah I'm just messing with you dude, just pretend you're doing hard work and you'll be fine, heck it'll be great to have a normal conversation with someone. No offense, Soos."

"None taken. That's actually understandable."

"Anyway, come on I'll show you the looks of the place." Wendy said, guiding Bobby through the shack.

* * *

Later that day, Lincoln acted as a guide for Ronnie Anne as the two went on what one would call a date around Gravity Falls, moving from the big city to a backwoods town that was even smaller than Royal Woods would be as big a change as when she and her family moved in with their relatives back at the city so he might as well help her get familiar with the sights. "Over there is the arcade, so we know where to go if we want to have fun that isn't in the shack and the old guys who's having homemade dinner with a raccoon is Old Man McGucket, local kook."

Said wild man noticed the white haired boy. "Oh well hello there, you're one of those youngin's whom I nearly killed while handling a robotic lake monster, why don't you and your little lady friend come to dinner, my raccoon wife doesn't bite...most of the time."

"Wait, what's he talking about?" she asked her friend with a curious look.

His eyes wide, Lincoln cleared his throat and urged her away from the crazy inventor. "Um, ignore him. Like I said, he's a complete loon, he always said these old timey prospector words that no one understands. So, how are things back at the city?" he asked, hoping to change the subject. "Was your mom really cool about you and Bobby spending the summer here?"

"Not gonna lie, she was pretty worried since she wouldn't be here to watch over us, but Bobby promised that we wouldn't get into any trouble and besides, with you and your sisters here that means we wouldn't completely be alone." she answered. "You know, some folks at the city have these crazy stories about Gravity Falls. They keep saying stuff about ghosts or monsters in the woods, sounds like something your uncle would keep in that fake monster museum, huh?" she chuckled. "As if that's actually true."

"Heh, yeah, definitely nothing paranormal about this at all." he laughed nervously.

Ronnie Anne then had an idea. "Hey, why don't we go explore the woods a bit? We could go see if there's any cool stuff there, what do you day?"

Normally, Lincoln would be all for it but a certain encounter where a bunch of gnomes gnome who tried to marry his sister to make her their queen came to mind which made him hesitant. "I don't know, I was thinking we could head back to the shack, I mean it's getting pretty late." he noted, observing the setting sun.

"What, scared that bigfoot might come out and maul you?" Ronnie Anne teased as she ran on ahead of him. "Last one there gets to have teasing rights."

"But you always get teasing rights, Ronnie Anne wait!" Lincoln ran after her as they went out of the town limits and into the heavily wooded area where there wasn't a human in sight. Things could go wrong in many ways, those gnomes from before might be lurking and as soon as they see him, they might want to get some personal revenge as a result of their humiliating defeat at the hands of the Loud siblings but there was no stopping Ronnie Anne from wanting to explore these parts. He eventually caught up with her as he took a minute to pant over the amount of running he had to do, he looked around and couldn't help but be slightly nervous by the eerie atmosphere. "Okay, here we are in the woods, and there's nothing to check out so why don't we head back? There's this awesome TV detective series, only the main character is a duck but it's way cooler than it sounds."

"Come on Linc, what's the harm in doing a little exploring?" the free spirited girl asked.

"It's just, these woods aren't safe for two 11 year olds, I mean are you ignoring those KEEP OUT sings on purpose or something?" he motioned to the various warnings to jot venture any further.

What the two didn't know was that they were being stalked by an unknown predator, it picked up their scent a while ago and surveyed them both as it hid behind the bushes, there were only two of them, younglings from the looks of them and they were all alone, no adult watching over them, this was a good thing. That meant there would be no interferers for when he starts getting in on the oncoming hunt, it slowly went out of the bushes and snuck up behind the one that was female.

"Seriously Linc, we're about the only human beings for miles. So stop being so afraid, the most dangerous thing that could be here is like a bunny or something. Lincoln?" she noticed that his eyes were widened and had a look of utter panic as he pointed behind her. "What's up with you? Is there like a ghost right...behind...me..." she too became shocked when she turned around and saw what was behind, it was bipedal creature that was covered in grey fur with blood red eyes, fierce fangs were snarled at the two and his claws were out, the creature roared at them as it got on all 4s and lunged at them both only for Lincoln to push her out of the way, but the creature bit down on the kid's hand.

"GAH!" Lincoln held his right appendage in pain as blood leaked out, the creature howled in the night sky as it disappeared into the woods, leaving them behind.

"Lincoln!" Ronnie Anne ran to him and held his injured hand. "What the heck was that thing?!" she asked, frantically.

"N-Not sure...! Some sort of wolf, maybe-NGH!" he grunted as the pain was settling in his system.

"Hang on, I'll get you back to the shack."

* * *

It took a while, but Wendy was able to get Bobby up to speed about what to do and not do in order to get by in the Mystery Shack, she's even invited him to hang with her group of friends whenever he and Lori had the time, the others were in the living room watching TV until this downtime was disrupted by the front door being forced open by Ronnie Anne who was supporting Lincoln. "Guys, I need help!" she yelled in hysterics.

The sight of their brother in pain made the Louds stop what they were doing and go to him for aid. "Oh my gosh, Lincoln!" Luna took him from Ronnie Anne and inspected the wound. "Dude, what happened out there?!"

"AH! He's bleeding!" Leni shrieked as she nearly fainted.

"Normally, I like the sight of blood but now when its one who shares my own." Lucy said. "Poor big brother..." she lamented.

"I'll go get Dr. Good times from the room!" Mabel suggested.

"Our brother needs real medical attention Mabel, not one of your stuff toys." Dipper admonished his twin.

"Nie-Nie, how did this happen?!" Bobby asked.

Ronnie Anne could barely believe it when she saw it but she gave them the basic description of what just transpired. "We were out in the woods and then some...animal jumped out and nearly wasted us, Lincoln pushed me out of the way and got bit!"

"It-It's okay guys, it barely hurts-AH! Okay never mind, the pain is really unbearable!" Lincoln exclaimed, and was then hugged by his little twin sisters.

"Aw, poor Linky!"

"I'll go fetch the disinfecting spray." Lisa said, taking out a case.

"Just tell me where this thing was little bro and I'll take care of it." Lynn promised, picking up her trusty baseball bat.

Lori took the bat from the jock's hands. "And risk you getting bit like him? Right now, we need to focus on Lincoln, Lynn. Alright, Luan get the bandages."

The comedian did so as she handed the box to her sister. "Here you go, now should I fetch the sarcophagus?" she was met with stern glares from everybody which made the message clear. "Right, sorry, inappropriate time for jokes, I got it." she said, looking down in slight guilt.

Once Lori wrapped the bandages around the bandages, Bobby couldn't help but pop some questions. "So you said that it was some kind of animal? What like a wolf? Or maybe a bear?"

"That's the thing, it didn't look like any animal I've ever seen before." Ronnie Anne clarified. "It was like something out of those scary movies you sometimes take Lori to only like 100 times more freakier, it was like some sort of mutated werewolf beast. Is stuff like this normal around here?" she asked the sisters who gave pensive glances to each other.

Lisa cleared her throat and attempted to put a logical spin on things before more assumptions can be made. "Perhaps it was simply your standard Canus Lupis that merely looked increasingly frightening when being in close proximity of it, I highly doubt it was anything...weird if that's what you're implying." she said, hoping to dissuade any suspicion of there being a possible paranormal element involved with this recent incident but that didn't necessarily mean that it shouldn't be ruled out.

"Lincoln, is there anything you need?" Lori asked gently to her injured little brother.

Rubbing his sore hand, he answered. "No, I think I'll be fine, it kind of itches a little but I don't think you all need to worry about anything else."

"It's getting kind of late, we should just sleep this off and forget it in the morning."

No one argued with Lori as they had enough of tonight so Bobby and Ronnie Anne said their goodbyes as they left with Soos in his truck and the siblings went up to their attic bedroom and promptly went to sleep. But Lincoln couldn't help but scratch his bandaged hand a little as he felt this urge to get up and do...something and had anyone stayed up they would have noticed one of his eyes open and turned into a red slit.

* * *

Morning came as always and everyone was gathered in the kitchen for some breakfast, the Shack hadn't been opened yet so the Santiago siblings and Soos haven't come in yet. "Mabel, for the last time we're not having that awful homemade juice of yours." Lori told the energetic young girl who was pouring a na array of ingredients into the blender, creating a rather unique concoction that didn't really sit in well with most of her siblings due to the fact that it was very disturbing.

"Come on you guys, one sip of Mabel juice and you'll be supercharged." Mabel then took a spoonful and poked it on Lily's cheek. "I bet Lily wants some, don't you Lily?" she cooed.

The infant's response was a raspberry.

"You're brain is blended if you think I'm having your gross juice, Mabel." Lola turned around with a huff.

Lana then noticed something. "Hey, where's Lincoln?"

"Little dude must still be asleep." Luna guessed. "Guess that bite must have taken a lot out of him, you think we should-" she was caught off when they heard footsteps coming down and there was their brother right now, only there was something slightly different, Lincoln's white hair seemed a bit longer and was a bit unruly as opposed to his neatly combed style. He looked at them with tired eyes as he opened up the fridge and took a cartoon of milk, he drank the entire contents in a matter of seconds and let out a large belch.

Everyone stayed silent in surprise until he spoke. "We're out of milk. Probably should tell Stan to head out and buy some more." he walked out without another word.

Dipper blinked. "Okay, so that just happened."

"I'm both proud and a little freaked right now." Lynn admitted.

The siblings followed their brother where he was sitting on the couch, watching TV. "Um, Linky?" Lola asked. "Is everything okay?"

He shrugged. "Pretty much, why" they then noticed his right hand which had no bandages.

"Did you take the bandages off? And is your hand healed?" Dipper asked, shocked by how quick it was for the wounds to all but disappear in over a short night ago.

"I guess."

"But that's impossible." Lisa abruptly said. "Due to the extent of your injury, I should have taken weeks, if not a month for your wound to heal, it disappearing is medically speaking, absurd. Lincoln, I advise that you should let me inspect it for a moment, I don't want to risk there being any form of side effect."

Lincoln crossed his arms. "How about no?"

"I don't think you understand, brother-"

"And I think you don't understand that I'd rather not be used for one of your freak experiments!" Lincoln shouted at his toddler sister, surprising her and the others as this was not typical behavior of him.

"Hey cool it Linc, random bursts of anger are usually my thing." Lynn told him.

"Then tell the mad scientist here that I don't want her messing with my DNA or something, of you'll need me I'll be out." Lincoln got up and left his siblings behind, leaving them stumped at this drastic change in attitude coming from their brother, Lincoln rarely ever shouts at people, least of one of his own little sisters. Something was definitely wrong with him but they didn't no if this was a serious thing or not, with Dipper being the only one speculating the cause of this.

"Jeez, what was all that about?" Mabel questioned.

Dipper looked to his second youngest sister. "Lisa, you alright?"

Snapping out of her initial stupor, Lisa answered. "Y-Yes, I'm fine, I was just unprepared for Lincoln's rather aggressive response, it was something I never thought I would take account for."

"You don't think bite mad him into a rabbit do you?" Leni suggested with concern.

"That's rabies, Leni." Lori corrected.

Whenever a strange occurrence transpired, Dipper Pines went into full on speculation mode, to some this may be considered a typical child acting out, but there was more to it, he just knew it but he can't pursue this further, not without gathering some evidence first to support any wild conspiracy he's got cooking in his mind. "Guys, I know you think we should leave this alone but there's something up with Lincoln, I don't know what but maybe we can find out if we tail him or something."

Lori considered this. "Even if we agreed, won't Lincoln notice that we're spying on him? He's not exactly oblivious."

"I think I have the answer." Lisa took out her laptop and once it turned on, it showed them footage of Lincoln walking into the town. "By using the built in camera on the tracer I secretly planted on Lincoln's being, we should be allowed to see everything he's doing right at this precise second and he'd be none the wiser."

"Wait, I thought you said you only had a tracer on dad? Are there more?" Lucy recalled as they all casted suspicious looks to the young prodigy.

Lisa answered creepily. "Noooo..."

They looked to the screen and saw what their brother was up to...

* * *

Beforehand, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne had made plans to meet up with each other and spend the day hanging out, but given the incident that transpired just yesterday, Ronnie Anne wasn't sure if he'd still be up for it but to her pleasant surprise, he was in peak physical condition, even that wound he got from that crazy beast had healed up, they were both presently in the arcade, playing a shooting game. "Look out for that one!" she advised him but he already shot the target dead with quite hand eye coordination. "Dang Linc, you got a better eye than I thought. What, you using contacts? You know that counts as cheating." she teased.

He shrugged with a smirk. "What can I say? Just call me Dead-Eye Loud." they were then bumped by a passing by person which caused him to miss a shot, he gritted his teeth and turned to the dude with a scowl. "Hey! You messed up my shot just now, aren't you gonna apologize."

"Chill out kid, it's just a game."

Unfortunately for him, Lincoln reached up, grabbed him by the collar and made pulled him closer and it was his imagination or does this kid have teeth that were shaped like fangs. "I won't repeat myself!" he then actually growled like a junkyard dog about to attack on a trespasser that was sneaking around its home turf.

"Lincoln, cut it out!" Ronnie Anne pulled him back, allowing the guy to run away in fear. "What is up with you lately? You haven't been yourself ever since that dog bite."

"Yeah well-" before he could retort, he took a look into her eyes, the eyes of someone close to his heart and in that instance, his temper began to die down a little and he thought about what he just did along with how he acted towards his own family not too long ago. "I-I'm sorry." he rubbed his temple as he started to sweat a bit. "I don't know what came over me, I just-" he then saw his hand and either he had too much to eat last night or his nails were starting to sharpen a bit. "You know, maybe I just need a change of scenery, why don't we go somewhere else?"

The two left but Lincoln couldn't help but feel strange and those who were listening in couldn't help but agree.

 _"You see? There's definitely something wrong with him."_

 _"Okay bro-bro, so you might be right? But what can we do?"_

 _"Perhaps our next course of action would be to observe Lincoln for tonight, to see if anything strange happens."_

 _"That sounds like a good idea. In the meantime Lisa, I think we need to have a talk about personal space."_

 _"Dang it."_

* * *

Nighttime soon came to Gravity Falls and Lincoln sat quietly in the kitchen, scratching his right hand, he thought it was getting better but now it was starting to act up, he started shivering a little couldn't help but feel a little lightheaded as he heard a howl from outside, and then he saw the moon, he didn't realize it before but the moon was actually hypnotic in some aspects. Its luminescent glow looked so beautiful and he found himself lost in it but the more he looked at it the more he started to feel something. "His right hand started trembling and he grabbed his chest as his heart started to beat at a fast pace and he could barely make it to stop.

He lost his footing and knocked some plates down and grabbed his chest as the beating got even faster and he was sweating profoundly, he panted heavily as his pupils shrunk and slammed his fist tot he floor, breaking it, he gritted his teeth as they started to grow into sharp fangs, then he started to hear something.

"This is odd."

"What is it Lis?"

"It seems the tracer's camera has gone offline."

The sound of his siblings was as clear as day, but he shouldn't be able to for they were too far away for him to hear from such a distance, that's when he decided he needed help, he needed his family. He struggled as he got up and went to find them, but that's when a few white hairs started to grow all over his body, he leaned his hand on the wall for support but as he walked, his nails became claws and left scratch marks all over the wall, he got to the point where couldn't take anymore."

"Wincoln?"

He looked up and saw the concerned face of his youngest sibling. "Lily." he rasped. "You need to go, I think-I think something's bad is about to happen." he grunted as his clothes began to get torn from the increased muscle mass. "Please, go before I do something I may regret, get Stan, Lori, Dipper, anyone that could help!"

"Lily? Where'd you run off to?" Leni came up and saw the infant. "Oh there you are, and-" she gasped. "Linky?!" she then shouted for everyone presently in the shack to hear. "Guys, come quick! Something's happening to Lincoln!" the dire tone in her voice made them all come down immediately and gasp at the current state of their brother.

"Lincoln, what's wrong?!" Mabel asked, moving to help him but a hand from his stopped her in her tracks.

"Get back!" he told all of them. "You have to-have to-NGH!" he tore through his orange shirt and increased in size, being about past Lori's level and grew a bit more muscular, white fur formed all around him and his eyes became blood red with slits and his face became bestial in appearance and he let out a loud howl and then snarled at his human siblings as they backed up in both fear and surprise at their brother's transformation from a child to a ravenous beast from the nightmares of men. The furry beast that was once their brother towered over them with a deep growl as he got on all fours and circled them like a lion.

"Um, L-Lincoln?" Lucy's response was him nearly biting her hand. "Hmm, it seems he's transformed into a lycan-esque creature. Sigh, is it really hard to ask for a vampire?"

"Lincoln, it's us, you siblings!" Dipper told him which made the transformed beast widen his eyes, their scent was familiar and his care for them outweighed his need to hunt, but the instinct was still there so he roared and crashed through the window and disappeared into the forest, leaving his stupefied family behind.

"Dipper?"

"Yeah Lori?"

"You still got that book of yours lying around?"

Taking out the Journal from his backpack, Dipper instantly surveyed the pages for anything that resembled what Lincoln turned into just now and stopped at the page where it showed the image of the kind of horrific creature that bit Lincoln in the first place. "Alright, here its; The Lycanbeast." he then read all the characteristics and description.

"Various rumors of a man-beast prowling the woods of Gravity Falls led me to investigate if they were true and they absolutely were. Similar to the perceived fictional werewolves of lore, these creatures appear to be some sort of rare breed, and offshoot of werewolves so to speak. Symptoms of a bite include an aggressive change in behavior along with a craving for dairy products. I encountered one myself and nearly got bit which was fortunate, considering of how the legends, if one were to get bit by these creatures not only did they transform into one, but they have until dawn to shower the transformed along with the original beast in the fresh waters of the lake else the poor soul who got bit stays that way forever!"

Hearing that brought massive dread to the siblings as the thought of Lincoln staying like that forever would be a nightmare for all of them which made returning him to normal was their upmost concern. "What time is it now?!' Luna frantically asked.

"8:00 P.M." Dipper answered. "That means we have about 10 hours to find both Lincoln and the beast that bit him in the first place."

"I believe splitting our exact numbers up in 2 groups would be beneficial given the circumstances." Lisa suggested.

"Right. Dipper, Lynn, Luan, and Leni, you're with me to find that monster while the rest of you go find Lincoln and make sure he doesn't cause too much damage." Lori instructed.

"To himself or to the town?" Lynn asked.

"Both."

* * *

Living in a small home was a welcomed feeling to the Santiago siblings, it reminded them of their old house before the move to the city, plus the fact they're staying with their extended family for the time being gave them a feel of living with the Casagrandes even if there were only two relatives in the house it was good enough for them. "Get out, you actually went A-truck-alypse Now?" Soos said to Bobby, then again he's always worked overtime at the shack and he there was a high chance that the reason he never got enough money was most likely because Stan never paid him the right amount on purpose but was oblivious to the fact.

Still, the handyman would have been cool about it, he is about everything else.

"Heck yeah!" Bobby confirmed. "You know cuz, you should definitely drop by at the big city some time. Mom, uncle Carlos, aunt Frida, and everyone else would be happy to see you, their offer to invite you into their home is still on the table., you know."

Soos shrugged. "I appreciate, but Gravity Falls is my home, plus someone needs to take care of Abuelita."

And speaking of, the kind old lady handed walked in with a tray of dinosaur cookies. "I brought you kids your favorite, now eat up." she then noticed that Ronnie Anne was the only one not eating. "Mija, is something wrong? You, Roberto, and Soos always loved my homemade dinosaur cookies since you were little."

Ronnie Anne sighed and leaned back on the couch. "It's nothing, Tia Abuela, I'm just worried about a friend of mine."

The elderly woman nodded in understanding. "Ah yes, boy trouble. Just to be sure, he's not like Soos's grandfather, yes?"

"What?"

"Just tell me, is he exactly like Soos's grandfather?"

"Um...no?" Ronnie Anne answered, confusion plastered all over her face.

"Then you have nothing to worry about, Ronalda, now eat up, it'll help you grow big and strong."

Then, something was heard from outside. "Aw dude, looks like the raccoons are back for seconds." Soos got up and picked up a broom, holding it like a weapon. "Don't sweat dudes, I got the fighting spirit of samurai...or any other person who uses a sword, like a pirate. Oh dude, a pirate-ninja would be the like the perfect combination." he was met with stares. "Just saying. Alright, time to potentially kill a living animal." he got out to deal with the problem but a scream was heard. Ronnie Anne and Bobby went out and saw Soos struggling to get his broom free from the mouth of a white furred beast that was like the one Ronnie Anne saw."

"Soos, what is that thing?!" Bobby exclaimed, both shocked and afraid the same as his little sister since she recognized the resemblance even with the different fur color.

"No idea doug, it might be the mailman though, I always thought that dude was a werewolf!" the broom was yanked out of his hands and the beast bit it in two pieces and it growled at Soos. "Don't worry, it can't see me if I can't move." he reassured his cousins but then remembered. "Wait a minute, that the wrong movie genre!" the handyman ducked down just as the beast swung his claw at him then kicked Soos to the ground, but before he could attack, the beast took one look at the 11 year old girl and his threatening expression softened.

For Ronnie Anne, she didn't know why but as opposed to the beast from before, this one seemed familiar in some way but she didn't know why, before more could be done, the beast noticed the arrival of Mabel, Lucy, the twins, Lisa, and Lily who was being carried by the goth, they all were carrying nets and flashlights as gear. "Lincoln, stop!" the sweater wearing girl begged to the beast.

Bobby's and Ronnie Anne's eyes widened when they heard that name. "Hold up, that thing is bro?!" the teenager shouted in shock.

"Lincoln?" Ronnie Anne numbly asked as she stared hard at the beast, there were many reasons to have her believe that this wasn't her best friend (and sorta boyfriend) but in her heart she knew this to be true. Lincoln looked at Ronnie Anne then at his clawed hands and realized that in this state, she could get hurt...or worse, he then began to leave over to the forest.

"Wait, come back big brother." Lucy said, but it would have worked if she had put more energy in her volume. "Sigh, once again our poor male sibling continues to be plagued by this insidious curse."

"We can still catch him and with any luck, the others got the other one." Lana urged her sisters to continue the search, but before they could the Santiagos stopped them.

"Hold up, can someone to us what's going on?!" Bobby demanded.

"For starters, why does Lincoln look like the thing that attacked us the other day?!" Ronnie Anne crossed her arms, not intent on being kept out of the loop.

Mabel flinched and knew that by involving these two, their efforts to keep them out of the paranormal would be for nothing but in order to save Lincoln, they may need more help. "Look guys, you may have like tons of questions and I'd be happy to answer them but right now, Lincoln needs us and as his honorary big brother and girlfriend, at least I think so, you both should help out."

The two shared a tense glance, though it was true, they did want answers but if Lincoln's in trouble then they might need to put that aside, at least for now. "Fine." Ronnie Anne conceded. "What can we do?"

* * *

By morning, the woods were already creepy enough, but at the dead of night, it was as if the creepy meter went beyond the limit and it definitely gave off the sort of atmosphere that gave shivers to the group of Loud siblings that were tasked to hunt down the Lycanbeast that bit their brother, Dipper took charge with the Journal in his hands while the sisters followed from behind with flashlights with Luna carrying a tranquilizer pistol. "Luna, you sure how yo work that thing?" Lori asked, wanting to make sure it was in the hands of a professional as she's not too fond of becoming numb in the cargo area should the rocker have poor aim.

"It's cool sis, it's just lick rocking a guitar." Luna reassured her.

"Guys, this is scary." Luan spoke up. "And I'm not trying be funny here, I'm actually serious, I watched all the movies at Benny's house and a bunch of kids looking for a monster in the dark forest never ends well."

Leni gulped. "They say the pretty ones are the first to go."

"Ah quit your worrying, you big babies." Lynn chastised, taking a few swings with her bat. "We survived killer wax people I think we can take care of some big ugly fur ball."

"Everyone quiet." Dipper told them. "It says in the Journal that the Lycanbeast normally prowls in these parts of the woods, so we should be ready for anything otherwise we may end up like Lincoln or possible worse." they then heard the sound of ruffling in the bushes and got ready but became at ease when it turned out to just be a rabbit. "Oh, just-just a rabb-AHH!" he screamed as the Lycanbeast itself jumped out of the bushes and roared at the siblings. "There it is! Lori, Leni, blind it with your flashlight, it should have a blind spot."

The two sisters did so and the beast had to shield his eyes as it couldn't focus on the hunt with that accursed light getting in the way, he quickly jumped over to the blonde teenagers and swiped the light out of thei hands but thankfully, he didn't leave any scratches but the two was still nonetheless frightened as she fell on her back and yelled out a terrified shriek as it started to get ready to go in for the kill but miraculously, Lincoln showed up in the nick of time as he gave a solid punch to the beast's face. "Lincoln?!" both sisters were shocked by this turn of events as they saw their transformed brother begin to engage in an all out brawl with the beast that infected him.

"Babe, are you alright?!" even more surprising, the other siblings came as well with Bobby and Ronnie Anne in tow, with her boyfriend helping her up, Soos was there too in case people were wondering.

"Bobby? Ronnie Anne?" Lori blinked rapidly. "What are you-"

"Woah, dude check it out, epic were-beast fight." Soos said, as he took a picture with his phone.

Lincoln slashed with his claws against the beast, both were battling to determine who was the alpha and who deserved to be stomped over like a weakling, but it seemed like the original beast had the upper hand, but Lincoln tackled it and both rolled over to a small body of water which made Dipper gasp as re recalled the means to curing his brother. "Lincoln, if you're in there then you and that thing need to get in those waters, the waters of Gravity Falls are the key to curing you!"

Fortunately, Lincoln understand perfectly and grabbed the beast by behind and put it in a hold that trapped it, he howled over to Luna and she understood now was the time to use the darts, she steadied her aim and despite the amounts of struggling on its part, she got a good shot and fired, the dart hit the beast on the chest making it numb and both it along with Lincoln fell into the waters. Everyone tentatively looked to see of this worked and then they saw someone emerging, they were ready in case it didn't work but Lincoln, back in his human form wearing only his pants emerged with a gasp. "Lincoln!" Ronnie Anne offered her hand to help him get back to the surface.

"Did...Did it work?" he panted.

His brother and sisters promptly hugged him out of relief then another figure emerged, he was a middle aged man with tired eyes, this was the beast before his transformation. "Thank you..." he whispered, grateful that they freed him of his curse, he then aimlessly walked into the woods, never to be seen again.

For a while, everyone seemed silent until Ronnie Anne spoke. "Okay, can someone now give my brother and I some answers?"

* * *

With Lincoln back to normal, everyone went to the Shack to not only take care of the white haired boy but to give a perfect explanation to the Santiagos about all they've been through so far. "Okay, so just to recap. In addition to a were-animal, you guys had to deal with gnomes that wanted to marry Mabel, a crazy old timer with a robot lake monster and living wax guys who wanted revenge on your uncle?" Bobby surmised after taking it all in, they were all gathered in the living room with Lincoln wrapped in a warm blanket.

"That's about it, yeah." Lucy shrugged.

"Okay, so if you knew all this then why didn't you tell us?" Ronnie Anne asked, a little offended by the lack of trust.

"We didn't want you guys to get hurt." Lincoln told her. "Every time we have to deal with stuff like that we nearly get killed in the process and you two don't deserve anything life threatening, we-I would never forgive myself if you ever got hurt and I could have stopped it, Ronnie Anne."

Lori rubbed her arm. "Plus, I was kind of scared that you wouldn't want to see me ever again, Boo-Boo Bear, I'd understand if you want to go back to the city and do just that." she looked down, once again depressed.

But her beloved boyfriend put a hand on her shoulder. "Lori, you know me better than that, nothing in this world could ever scare me into breaking up with you. I love you too much to do that." he smiled. "Sure it's crazy, but you can at least depend on me to protect you when you need it." he promised her.

His words made her eyes water with tears of joy. "Oh Bobby!" she hugged him happily along with a kiss.

"Barf." Ronnie Anne gagged then addressed her friend. "And just so you know Linc, nothing scares me easily, and if I'm being honest I think it's awesome you have to face stuff like this."

"Seriously?"

"Duh." the rough girl answered, as if it was obvious. "I thought this summer would have been boring but if this town is as awesome as you say then this will be a blast!"

Lincoln was surprised but then smiled with a chuckle. "Heh, I guess I should've figured."

"How are you holding up, bro?" Lynn asked.

"And how did it feel being an animal?" Lana curiously asked with bright eyes, sure it was scary but it was also cool that her big bro became a were-beast.

Lincoln sipped on the cup of tea Lola provided for him. "I'm okay for the most part, and I felt a little more ferocious than usual which is never. At least it's all over."

The Santiago's debut in Gravity Falls may not have gone as intended but it pays to have some help in a town where attack by beasts from the woods are a given.

* * *

 **End Credits**

The former Lycanbeast stood at the side of the road, with his thumb up to hail a car to pick him up, but each car passed by the ragged man without a care.

"Oh shoot, did I leave the stove on?" he asked himself with a panicked eyes as he remembered that before his transformation, he left the stove with his soufflé running.


End file.
